|Reviews for Historian's Magic|
| DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
And now I realize just how much egg I have on my face, for not noticing that "Osculation" was not a one-shot story. I cling to the tatters of my pride by claiming that, as it was a multi-chapter fic in a sea of one-shots, that expectations were against me, but seriously, this was definitely an "epic fail" moment on my part.
On the other hand, this means that I now have two more chapters of a story by you to read, so there's a silver lining!
| DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
This story is not one of the better ones, but not through any flaw of its own. Rather, it's the jump since the end of "Osculation," where we left off on a cliffhanger with Adan about to fight Sumire. While I can see why you skipped New Mota (generally, you've been skipping over the major sequences of the game itself unless you intend to add to or expand on them, since we could experience that for ourselves), it would have felt better if you'd "shown" us those events from Adan's POV in their own story rather than just "telling" us about them in Kara's looking-back sequences. Then, *this* story would have gone on to show us Kara's side of things. It has all the feel of you intending to write that story and getting nailed by writer's block or something similar.
That problem aside, "Historian's Magic" itself is quite good within the four corners of the story, instantly provoking a "D'awwww, sweet!" response. From Kara's "spell," to her self-doubts and thoughts about the way she and Adan met, to the conclusion, everything was done nicely and happily moved things forward. I also liked the fact that the romance bore fruit now, in mid-quest, rather than waiting around to be wrapped up at the end (Adan doesn't have any obsessive personal motive the way Rhys or Sean did driving him, so it's natural that he wouldn't necessarily push aside his feelings, and it makes the whole thing seem less forced if it doesn't match up with the overall narrative of fighting Dark Force.).
The backstory notes from New Mota's history, and tying Laya's presence to Lutz was a nice bonus (also showing that your sequence of stories follows the English games' version of the story, 1000 years after PSII, instead of the Devastation War being 1000 years after PSII and PSIII itself another 1000 years later. Given the way PSIV had the Profound Darkness, the source of Dark Force destroyed, it makes more sense this way...), and sensibly placed in a story told in Kara's viewpoint since she herself was established earlier as a historian.
| tilinelson2 chapter 1 . 2/8/2011
You have made a nice mix of the "serious" aspects of PSIII and the light-weight ones. It is easy to sympathize with Kara, Adan and Gwyn as teenagers who have to deal with very serious matters, but still have the silly worries of every average teenager. The fact that, in PSIII, the heroes are never considered "the last hope of the planet" makes you characterization of them better.
| augmentedfourth chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
I loved this story, probably because deep down, I'm a hopeless romantic (shh, don't tell anyone!). The "I can't believe I just did that" was perfect, as I was sort of thinking the same thing, since it was slightly out of character for the studious Kara. Elaborating on her feelings from the previous story was nicely done, as I previously wasn't really on her side for being angry at Adan.
The gift of the book was sweet. Adan flat-out asking "Do you want to kiss?" was a little awkward, but for two fumbling teenagers, it works. (I think we've all been there, whether or not we want to admit to it...)
| Vicious Pink chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Awwww! I'm so glad matters from "Osculation" were resolved (though now I'm extra curious what Gwyn will think about this latest development).
Though you've labeled this as "angst," and it is, it's not at all mopey or pointless angst. You make sure not to characterize Kara as pathetic; she shows a lot of maturity under all her typical - yet with added end-of-times world-saving questing - teenage emotions. Her thoughts are surprisingly deep, but not unbelievable, for a girl her age. And you know what? I feel for her, having to go through first love AND save the ship at the same time!
Her little ritual at the beginning was also cute, and I liked the way you played Adan here. I was wondering what he was going to do, and his gift was quite thoughtful. Sweet, too. Great job; eagerly waiting for more "Royal Twin Arc" stories!