|Reviews for The Mask|
| Cyberchao X chapter 1 . 10/25/2013
Adorable. We need more fics like this that screw the canon and allow Junpei and Akane to be together afterwards.
| TheAravis chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
I liked this fic. The format was a little confusing, but I did like it.
Steps to a better fic: 1) Make paragraphs. You did some of this, but remember this: You can't have more than one person speaking in one paragraph.
2) Fix every instance of this problem (not taken from your fic): '"Hello." Said Bob.' And change it to, '"Hello," said Bob.' Notice the comma instead of the period. And 'said' was probably just capitalized because the writing program you were using was auto-'correcting' you.
I did like the instances where Santa talked about Clover. That PROVES they're in love! (Sorry, I'm a fangirl.) The blushing-when-Santa-and-co. (Because that's what Junpei is reduced to next to the LOVE OF CLOVER'S LIFE comes in.) came in was a bit more substantial hint at their totally canon love.
This was definitely cute, even though not much happened. Maybe you could write another chapter from on of the girls' perspectives?
| Trin-rin chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
I enjoyed reading it for the most part, however, even though it's a one shot, I would have liked it if you had rushed the writing a little less. Minor grammatical errors at times, but still really good. I am curious as to what Akane, Clover, and Light were talking about, so maybe you could elaborate on that? Or explain it in another fic? I'm sure other people are just as curious as I am.
| Niamy Tak chapter 1 . 2/27/2011
Oh, I loved this! It kind of shows how even the worst of situations can bring people together, and I hoped they'd remain friends even after everything. I'm slightly disappointed that Severn and Lotus weren't included or at least mentioned, though.
Favourite parts were probably the interactions between Santa and Junpei; the moments of seriousness alongside casual jokes was great! I would suggest starting new lines when a new character speak though, the big paragraphs were kind of hard to read. But overall, brilliant, just what I was hoping someone would write!
| SwirlzSmile chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
hmm... this was a pretty good fic ]
It's nice to see that soemone has written a lighter 999 fic.
But... rather then having a big grouping of text, you should start a new line when someone talks.
And maybe make it a little more descriptive.
(Though at the moment, my stories aren't that descriptive so I'm not really in a position to be suggesting that '')
Write more! ]
| Shammytime chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
I like it! keep going! What was Light, Clover and Akane talking about?...and maybe you could, possibly, you know, pair Aoi and Clover together *fangirls*
| Martial Arts Master chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
I think what's most important is that you don't have any line breaks for dialogue. It makes the paragraphs look rather blocky.
Still, it's good to see another Junpei and June fanfic on here.