|Reviews for The Great Switch|
| XxXDanatyXxX chapter 1 . 2/1
This is so...beautifull , i am glad i read this.
| Henthorne chapter 6 . 3/15/2013
A really fun read and well don characterizations. Wish there was more of this to read. Great ending too.
| Dr Facer chapter 5 . 9/27/2011
As promised I'll continue reviewing your work. I decided to review The Great Switch since it's shorter and it wouldn't take me too long to read the previous chapters to better review this one.
In general, the whole chapters is excellent when it comes to grammar, and the narrative is more solid when comparing it to previous episodes; it is nicely paced too, which helps to keep it flowing smoothly.
I find it interesting how you wrote Ataru's reaction to the massive ammounts of attention he got, and where that attention (plus some alien alcohol) drove his thoughts to, it makes sense that only such a radical change would have forced Ataru to even contemplate how lucky he is when it comes to having Lum doting on him.
Benten's conversation with Ataru was interesting, also. I must wonder, are you hinting at Lum not being a virgin and Benten knowing about it? That would certainly add some heavy drama further down the road, which would be quite fascinating to read as I'm sure Ataru would not like that too much.
Speaking of characterization, your Benten is well written given the situation and it is possible to see her acting that way. I'm not entirely sold on Ataru's sudden change yet, as he is incredibly hard-headed, but I guess turning into a woman and facing how easily Lum could replace him for someone actually much better than him on all fronts must be a brutal eye-opener, mostly if we consider Ataru is, when compared to the other royals in the galaxy, pretty much trash. I'm assuming that this is post-manga, that makes it easier to see him acting like this and being so contemplative.
About the Lum parts, they are reasonably well made. I still have a lot of trouble with your rationalizing of Ataru's absolute pervertedness and lust-filled brain, but that's mostly me and my fixed idea of Ataru having zero redeeming qualities. From a story point of view, though, it makes a lot of sense and it is quite touching in its own way.
I must say the climx felt... a little rushed when compared to the rest of the chapter, but it doesn't really detract from the story, and it fits with Takahashi's tendencies to do quick (about two or so pages) endings, so no complains about that.
You might want to consider the rating, since this chapter was a little heavy on the swearing. Sure, you don't drop any f**ks, but there's quite a few b**ch and sh*t here, and there's also the sexual hints here and there. I personally don't think this should be moved to M, but you are pushing the T rating as far as it goes.
Overall, a nice experience, and it reads quite well from start to finish. I'll check the epilogue later, of course.
| Ludra90 chapter 6 . 9/20/2011
Man, what an INCREDIBLE ending! You're too much! Really!
It's freakin' PERFECT I tell you! In every way!
The concept of Ataru telling the events himself in a theater has been an amazing idea that filled this last chapter with a metaphoric and mysterious mood!
Despite the chapter substantially declares Lum and Ataru's mutual love, and consequently lays the foundations for the beginning of their (finally) official relationship, the events never lose balance preserving perfectly the original, and believable, personality of the characters!
Despite the aknowledgement and final acceptance of each other's true feelings, Ataru will maintain his habit of looking at other girls to tease Lum and she, even if overwhelmed by a new love for him, will preserve her trademark bad temper!
In short, they finally achieved their love dream without changing their way of living, which I believe every true UY fans love! XDXD
The final double turn-up was fantastic! One can tell you did put a lot of effort and creativity in writing the last chapter to keep readers breathtaken until the very end!
Lum initially offering Ataru to try and look for the right girl for him scared me! A lot! I mean, the Lum I know would NEVER make such a propose, not after everything they just went through!
And then the sudden arrival of this mysterious and shockingly beautiful girl Ataru seems to instantly fall for!
"Is it really gonna end like this?" "How is it possible for Ataru to forget Lum so ridiculously soon?" "Really is Lum willing to renounce to her Darling so easily?"
I was veeeeery worried.
And then... SUPERSPECIALAWESOME TURN-UP!
I loved it! Lum's umpteenth scheme unmasked by Ataru’s very love for her! A few memories and the kiss! Awesome! Not bland nor too cheesy. Just awesome! XD
Even the 'real' ending inside the theater was so touching and beautiful!
About the technical details, both length and homogeneity of the text are very good, and Ataru's bright gab grants an enjoying reading! XD
| Nicole Luna chapter 6 . 9/15/2011
This epilogue featuring Ataru was priceless! I really didn't find it really fluffy and honestly, it's not that cheesy to make me gag. It was just right. I hope to read Lum's POV too, since you've done such a great job on this one. This is one of the best UY stories I've ever read! You really did a good job here! ;)
| Republic Empire chapter 6 . 9/12/2011
Nice ending it adds a touch to our favorite couple in the Rumic world.
| savage immortal chapter 6 . 9/8/2011
now THAT was an ending
| Ludra90 chapter 5 . 7/18/2011
This was a lot more than just a good chapter!
An appropriate ending for such a nice story! :)
Statements, dialogues and events are all perfectly in order and skillfully set up to snatch the reader's interest! Not to mention the story-line and plot!
Being finally able of seeing the end of the switching of point of views with the actual moment in which the protagonists meets has been quite liberating and touching! Good job! XD
While Ataru was deepening his miserable experience as galactic female sex-symbol, which just served to intensify his burning inadequacy and guilt, Lum continued her tormented wandering as the most lecherous and loathed boy of the universe.
It's sad the way no one hesitated trashing him(her) even when severely wounded!
The explanation about how only certain parts of Lum and Ataru's "selves" have been switched made the plot absolutely unassailable! As usual, your plot-diagrams are frigging perfect! XD
The whole trip back to Earth was quite touching too, having Ataru confessing all of his fears and insecurities to Benten who, by misinterpreting, just rubbed salt into the wound!
Man, I hated Benten so much in this chapter! I've always found her over-impulsive and carelessly violent attitude annoying, but this time she went way too far. I'm almost disappointed she got away with just a severe electroshock, she deserved a lot more!
But the fact that it was Ataru electrocuting the f*** out of her? Priceless! XD
So, to end it all, Lum had a taste of her own lightning, experiencing its terror, but this sad event is clearly going to be one of the numerous revelations she and Ataru needed to make their relationship turning into a new, better direction!
Ataru's "sacrifice" was well expected, I was sure he was gonna take the rings off to free poor Lum of pain and injures to bear them himself, but it was still a h eck of a thing to read! Expecially with Lum's thoughts making the whole situation even more touching! :)
Things have been set straight with Mendou and Benten and it seems at least those two are going to re-consider Ataru, and it seems Lum's gonna shed more tears once watching the recording of Ataru's words!
I would've expected a few romantic moments between the two of them, but I suppose Ataru was just in no conditions for it!
Anyway, great chapter and great end-story! I hope the other stories you're working on will be a match up with this jewel!
Congratulations and keep up the good work! XD
| Code32 chapter 5 . 7/12/2011
Good story I gotta say
It's quite clear both Ataru and Lum learned a lesson from this, and that their relationship will change, for the better of course.
Little complaint tho, I didn't really feel the inclusion of the third power of Lum's all that necessary, it's already well stated that she's very attractive on her own, no need for any extra powers in that regard, and it didn't feel like it had that big an impact on the story, it felt expendable in my opinion, but since it didn't really hurt the overall story, I don't think it's way too big a deal.
That's it, overall it's a good story.
| Pyrobunneh chapter 4 . 7/2/2011
I really like this story! It's very interesting how you portray how lum and ataru would react in each others bodies. Can't wait to see how it ends!
| Dr Facer chapter 4 . 6/15/2011
This chapter was positively hillarious, pizzigri. I must congratulate you for the first scene between Ataru and Rei, it really was fun to read and not just that, but it was also very satsifying to read!
Ah, but Ran's scene was also quite fun, I love how you wrote our favorite energy vampire alien; you managed to capture her bipolarity quite well, which made it even funnier.
That was a nice portrayal of two of my favorite secondary characters from this series (I must confess I like Ran almost as much as Shinobu), which I commend you for.
Lum's turn inside Ataru's body was well made too, and it shows how hard he has it dialy, not that Ataru doesn't ask for it but that's another thing, what you did was very effective in a way to show Lum that Ataru is not a total pervert and that when the planets are correctly aligned he does try to do the right thing regarding girls.
Overall, good chapter, well written, narrated and characterized, the plot moved forward nicely and we learned a few important things through Lum's eyes. Congratulations.
| Ludra90 chapter 4 . 6/7/2011
My! Wasn't this an excellent chapter!
I sure did appreciate its length and variety of events!
The constant switching between Lum and Ataru's POVs is well balanced and not bothersome at all! It makes me really enjoy the reading and keeps me wondering what's going to happen next!
As usual, dialogues and situations are pretty entertaining as well as plot and text themselves. Good interpretation of the characters' personalities too!
Looks like Ataru’s found out Lum's got some annoying friend too! But at least she has Benten, and maybe Oyuki!
I personally do not hate Ran, or Rei for the matter, but having them getting what was coming to them was something I HAD to see at least once!
Just like seeing Lum girl-hunting! Ahaha Maaan! XD
It's interesting how deep their switching has been! They exchanged not only their bodies, but also their feelings, their personalities, their instincts, their habits, their views of life itself!
That's why this is far more intense than a simple concept of "put them to be in each other's shoes"!
Heck, they even think of each other with their body switched as they've always been like that! That means their love is in terms of pure soul! Very touching! Bravo! :)
Ataru's always been a good-hearted fellow, I like the idea of him having secretly helped out a few persons, the ones who allowed him to! Ataru would have a hell of a better reputation if everybody knew what a kind guy he can actually be beside his lecherousness! Luckily Lum seems to see it clearly!
Well, Rock me Amadeus!
The final totally freaked me out! In the end it has been heart-warming to see the violent change in Mendo's personality by worrying for Ataru like that, but Lum ended up on the run with her neck slashed!
Ataru needs to get the f**k out of that party and rescue her!
Looking forward for the fifth and last chapter!
Awesome job Piz! XD
| Code32 chapter 4 . 6/1/2011
Great story so far, I'm really liking the whole 'walk a mile on my shoes' that Ataru and Lum are going through, even if unwittingly.
I did not quite know about the Umezu to be honest, live and learn as they say.
I'm waiting to see how you wrap this story up.
| LukeGreen chapter 3 . 4/20/2011
This is beginning to get more interesting ;) Far better than earmuffs one ...
| deadly84 chapter 3 . 4/6/2011
good chap, can you have Oyuki appears (She seems to be the only one to truly appreciate ataru relation with lum (Plus she actually seem genuinely dissappointed that ataru didn't continue after b-boy charge).