|Reviews for Gears of War: The New New Kid|
| Fight4All chapter 6 . 7/19/2013
loved the whole story!
| Fight4All chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
i love it so far
| Dv4021 chapter 6 . 3/15/2012
The concept of this story is brilliant! Going right back to the childhood is great, I've only ever found one other story in this area (it's called borrowing Dom) I find Justen's character believable and I'm enjoying the similar upbringing he and Marcus have. The bit in chpt 5 with "call to war 3" made me laugh out loud! I'm interested to see how this will progress, keep it up :)
| I'm a Dinosaur so like rawr chapter 5 . 9/17/2011
i love it! :DD i love how justen just kinda freaked out too cus thats how i was when i first met my friends parents, i was like O.O" then i got closer and i started basically walking in there like i lived with her xD lolz, he's so formal, i love it :))
| Norska D chapter 2 . 8/17/2011
lol! i love this, especially the whole "Give your teachers hell" art, this is a great story, Perfect puncuation. Great paragraphs, i love it! nice work.
| S-Bumblebee chapter 4 . 5/5/2011
I really liked the dialogue between the characters and I like how you portrayed Marcus, especially the random moment I can see why they found it so surprising and funny at the same time :)
Anyway great work, I look forward to reading more :D
| I'm a Dinosaur so like rawr chapter 4 . 4/10/2011
not bad. :DD to me, it wont really matter how you write anything because i have odd writing too :DD i love this story. and either way it's a great practice especially cus it's so like entertaining. keep writing! :DD can't wait for more :DD
| I'm a Dinosaur so like rawr chapter 3 . 4/4/2011
still can't wait for fourth chapter, it's an epic story. i love it! so yeah! :DD good luck and keep writing :DD
| I'm a Dinosaur so like rawr chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
dude i luv this! :DD keep writing! :DD
| Shadow chapter 3 . 2/15/2011
The story is very intesting but the way you say things is kind of awkward. For instance "she was no more than 5ft 5in tall due to the fact he was 5'4" you don’t need to point out that his if 5'4" it made me think he was a very short adult, I had to remind myself that he is a kid. Unless he is particularly short or tall you don't need to bring it up and even then you can just say he is taller than most kids. I would steer clear of phrases like 'due to the fact'. If you don’t use them right they can be very awkward.
You also use phrases like “but he had grown a tolerance to it" throughout the story. This is also very awkward to read, try saying it like "but he had learned to tolerate it". I'm not going to point out every little thing but I suggest you find someone to proof read it for you. Keep writing it's good practice and you have an entertaining storyline.
| S-Bumblebee chapter 3 . 2/13/2011
Finally got to meet all the friends now :)
You did a great job describing the class and their reactions to Justen, and I especially think you did a great job on the fight scene, read really smoothly :)
I also think you've got Marcus to a tee here, I can't see any weird things in his character, and Marcus probably would guess that Justen might need some help. Carlos was great too, made me laugh when I read the part where Carlos was talking about the ninja kick, and although you got the humour in there, you kept the grown up maturity and responsibility that Carlos tends to have.
Great job Spike! Can't wait for the next one! XD
| S-Bumblebee chapter 2 . 2/10/2011
I like the relationship between Justen and Moe, that one stand alone person away from his parents who is consistent despite his moving around a lot :)
I actually also really like how you describe his parents, they seem a little odd in one sense, but not in another, I'm quite interested in learning more about them :D Will you just be focusing on Justen, Marcus and Carlos or will there be some chapters surround their parents?
Looking great so far though! Can't wait to see what he makes of Marcus, since he seems to have his mind made up already ;)
| S-Bumblebee chapter 1 . 2/9/2011
I'm really liking this so far, definitely an interesting direction to go in for this, looking into their childhoods. I really like the character of Justen, he seems to me quite like Marcus in the sense of Intelligence but not restrained emotionally like Marcus has been taught to be.
I'm also enjoying the back story you have for Justen and I'm certainly interested to learn more about him and how he will actually come to meet Carlos and Marcus. :D
Plus, you've done a great job at character interactions here, I liked how Justen conversed with his parents and their reactions to him.
Great job here I look forward to reading more on this! :D