|Reviews for Ben 10 Unforgiven|
| Sadie chapter 1 . 3/7/2011
straight into it
P- everyone stayed in character, the oc isnt grating on the nerves, and the whole story line was easy to follow
I- It isnt labeled complete, but you put end at the end of the chapter with no note to say you had intentions of continuing with it, i think you could have wrapped that up with a few more sentences. its just in need of an ending.
M- I think you jumped point of views a couple of times there, its missing an ending and its a bit jumpy with too many points that dont lead to anywhere for a one shot but the concept doesn't seem like it would hold interest for multiple chapters. if it was tided up a bit and finished it would have made a killer one shot.
P- the characters involved stayed in character for the whole time.
kay thats my 3rd ever attempt at a review, any questions just ask.