sharingan needs to c handsigns to take jutsu rasengan hss none so he cant take it but shadow clones i know right but even if he did take the jutsuhell just die but it might b a good thing considering all the shit his done i hate sasuke i hope he dies in canon

Huh.

I... normally don't do this. I try to be a live and let live guy.

But... if YOU, of all people, are the 56th best Naruto writer on this site...

Then it's true. There's no hope for fanfiction.

My apologies. I know I'm being rude.

But... I can tell, just from this first chapter, just from THE SUMMARY.

This story is BAD.

And things like that need to be said.

And no, actually. It's not BAD. It's worse than bad. Bad things at least can offer some fun in making fun of them. Perfect Lionheart is the ur example. He writes things so terrifying, so nauseating, so EVIL, that you can find joy in lambasting them. Something can be so bad it's good.

But this... this is just mediocre.

It's BAD at being BAD.

Think about that for a second.

I know you probably just write fanfiction as a hobby. For fun. You're not actually trying to tell a serious story. You don't intend to be an actual writer or anything like that.

But for fucks sake. Think about the effect putting such CRAP up on the internet has.

It's stories like this that give fanfiction a bad name. Boring.

Riddled with cliches.

(and not the good kind. Cliches exist for a reason: more often than not, they tell a good story. "I am your father." "The magic was YOU all along." "Soylent Green is PEOPLE!"

But these are FANON cliches. And if there's anything I've learned over the past couple years, it's that if you could generate electricity with stupidity, then the average Naruto fanforum could power Vegas for YEARS.

I mean, seriously. A Civilian Council? What MORON came up with that? Probably the same guy who came up with the Banishment storyline, and the term Pinkette)

CAPSLOCK.

I mean, Jesus. We can tell people are shouting, you know? We're not IDIOTS. It's perfectly clear what someone is doing with CONTEXT.

Also: I know you were trying to bash Sasuke here. Actually, quick aside before we get into more: if you ARE going to bash Sasuke, please, for the love of god, come up with something more fucking original.

"Oh, I'm an Uchiha, so I think I'm awesome" NO. FOR FUCKS SAKE. Sasuke was the least arrogant member of Team 7. Prideful? Yeah, all over the place. But he never openly flouted his skill. He was quietly confident.

QUIETLY. You know, the OPPOSITE of screaming all the time.

In fact, you know who was the loudest member of team 7? The one who was always screaming about his awesomeness?

That's right. Fucking NARUTO.

Sasuke has PLENTY of unlikeable traits. But you threw them all aside here in favor of screaming.

So now, I don't dislike him. Now, he's my favorite character in this fic.

I mean, almost ALL of his dialogue is capslock. Thinking of Sasuke going around screaming at Naruto all the time... I just can't help but break into laughter. He's crazy awesome.

And I can already tell that Naruto is going to become a fucking PSYCHO in this (because that's how ALL these stories go: seriously, is there like a cookie-cutter sheet at a Home Depot or something that you check out?), so honestly Sasuke is probably justified in his screaming.

He's seen the blackness, the writhing darkness, the HORRORS to come, and he hopes to drive them away before they arrive. Little does he know, it's too late. He's already trapped in this shitty story, dancing to your tune.

(not to mention: you brush off the massacre of his ENTIRE FAMILY, which he had to WATCH over and over again for SEVENTY-TWO HOURS... as him being SPOILED.
You. Asshole.)

Another thing: AN's in the middle of the GODDAMN CHAPTER? Have some fucking respect for your audience! We don't need you hanging over our shoulder explaining things all the goddamn time.

And if we do, it's just more proof you're an awful writer! We should know these things FROM THE TEXT.

It's not that hard. Look! I'll do it right now:

"He'd just woken up, and listening from his bed to the loud boy in the other room(who he was starting to suspect wasn't Sasuke), he was beginning to wish he hadn't."

SEE? No AN necessary! Just put more than five seconds into each of your paragraphs! It's not that difficult!

Also: "Uchiha-sama"? Seriously? Why the hell would the councilors call the heir of the clan that tried to KILL THEM ALL SAMA, of all things? It's nonsense!

"Byakugan Doujutsu Kekkei Genkai"?

Okay, serious question here.

Do you ACTUALLY THINK that we are retarded?

I mean, considering the audience you're marketing to, it would kinda make sense. But... I mean... why so much redundancy? Do we not know what a Byakugan is?

Do YOU know what Tautology is? Cause this is the goddamn textbook definition.

Ugh. I could go on. I could talk about the lack of logic with Hiashi being okay with Naruto (because clearly, you want it to be OKAY when Naruto literally FUCKS HINATA'S PERSONALITY OUT OF HER later).

But... I'm just tired now.

So I'll leave you with this.

Please.

PLEASE.

You don't have to learn how to write well.

But at least learn how to write something that's ENTERTAINING.

...

Sorry if this was upsetting.

But I am getting TIRED of these things.

Have a nice day.

This is SHIT.

Too overpowered...

Should have said Sakura has A Cup, or No Cup

Wow your chapters have about as much authors notes as actual story

Remember in time travel stories time isn't just forward and backward, it has many possibilities with some fixed points. It's just a big mess of timey wimey wibbly wobbly stuff.

You know, I started reading this fanfic when you only had 46 chapters, took a break and just now finished it. And all I got to say is, WOW! This is F***ing awesome.

I finally finished it, and I Fucking love it!

Time can only move forward, so with that in mind, time travel would consist of two possibilities.
One: Time is sealed completely.
Two: Time is ended, and begins again, moving to a certain time since the beginning.
The user's spirit supersedes the current spirit by overlapping, thus preserving the user's knowledge.
This could have multiple side effects but it does solve the paradox in time travel.

Ok...ch 68...going good till now. REALLY?! time travel. And all for hinata. So sweet. But uh...not haku, fu, tenten, or the rest... must be something somewhere I missed... maybe in all that comments crap that never makes a bit of common sence... I'd really hate having to go read that stuff AGAIN. Though honestly I only skimmed it for the OOC jokes. You type more comments than story. You have a nice story so far but some (imo) annyoing habits. Hope it ends well. (Happy ending or not) good luck.

Sorry, by the end of this chapter, I already decided that I don't like the story. Maybe I'll continue reading another time. Even if you did warn about bashing... I'm sick and tired of pointless, brainless bashing for not point whatsoever except to bash. Heh. I realize that this chapter is quiet a few years old already, from two thousand eleven but... meh.

Kingdark

Just read ch 40 naruto mysterious power. I woke my roommates with my laughing. I couldn't help it. Your story is decent but thise bloopers were hilarious. I hope you have nore of those later on. XD

Anybody realize formation fu-ku-to looks a lot like fuk u too

The Rasengan is more like you just forming a ball of Chakra, so he can't really steal it.