|Reviews for Naruto Mysterious Power|
| Sage of Asgard chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
An interesting turn of events. And I always love me some Sasuke bashing, I found the transsexual Pomeranian comment to be quite humorous.
I'll beta your fic.
| shunshinking chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
I hope naruto learns those sword techniques that were used in the two chapters before this. For a S rank technique due to destruction you could have naruto create an F5 tornado but can only be used in something like sage mode
| raw666 chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
I think the civilans need to be fired from the council for usurping the power of the ninjas and disobeying the rules of the council. Also, traitors can't vote.
| Tobi Fan 321 chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
Great chapter! It started out nicely but the end was abit off! You kinda rushed it abit with introducing Sai, nd Shibuki could have passed off as being their to form a treaty between the two villages and offerng fu inexchange for aother geni or something.
You did a reat job nontheless. Hope you update soon!
| keyking24 chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
this is a good chapter. i hope saskue and sakura die one day, really painfully. update soon.
| True Assassins chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
this chapter is great and if you need someone who is good at romance I can help but I am not a good beta so yeah but I am good at romance in writing and real life so if you still need someone for romance I can help out ja for now
| Nameless Reviwer chapter 2 . 2/17/2011
Interesting story, and a good concept, however your writing needs work. You have numerouse spelling and grammer errors, so much so that it is actually painful to read. Do you even use a spell checker? If not you should, or look into finding a Beta, if you look at the top of the screen there is a button for Beta Readers.
| The Flying Engineer chapter 8 . 2/17/2011
ok you are seriously starting to make me think you are a sauke fanboy. i mean come on. no law against stealing CLAN JUTSU! with the uchiha and senju makeing the laws it would be one of the first rules they made! also sasuke is getting way too much leeway. if that happened he should have his sharringon sealed away. all sarutobi has to do is get jirayia there and have all the jonin with them and BAM! councles gone. sorry it's just you are seriosly starting to make me wonder.
| Narjiro chapter 7 . 2/17/2011
interesting chapter. though I hope Naruto gets the Tiger Contract I mean Tigers are awesome :p And Interesting ending this time.
I look forward to read the next chapter soon
| Power Taco chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
Alright I'll tell you what I have to say straight and to the point, but know that I'm not telling you this to flame you, but to help point out some problems with your story so you can make it better.
You have a decent idea here, and femhaku is one of my long standing favorites for pairings beyond Hinata.
That being said you might want to get a beta for your story, as most of the issues I see are grammatical errors. A lot of general misspellings, and several places where you use the incorrect word that sounds similar to the one you need to you. (As one example several times Sasuke says "A Uchiha, rather than "An Uchiha", you also use suddle, instead of the word subtle as another example) It really is the little things that add up that can help your story.
Some of your dialogue is a bit rough in delivery, by which I mean it seems likes it's forced there instead of flowing naturally.
Your story characters also even with them being in a bash fic are a little over the top. Mostly Sasuke, and Sakura. I get that it's bashing I really do, and I also get that you're exaggerating the negative cannon flaws to extremes for the sake of humor, however also remember that in addition to those flaws Sakura was hailed as a brilliant book student, as well as Sasuke being hailed as a prodigy in his own right. They both know they have to obey ordered from their superior. Insubordination in any military capacity is not a minor thing. You also need to factor in that while Sakura was annoying early on Sasuke really didn't get bad until after the curse seal, and another run in with his brother. Before that he honestly wasn't that hateful, or vindictive. If you want to make him that way for the story so be it, but be sure to show why he's that way. In the words of the great Bill Waterson "When I write my characters I just put them in a situation, and then watch and see what they do, and most of the time I'm just as surprised as the reader as to where they end up."
Overall clean up your grammar, apply a little dialogue polishing, and keep watch on your character development, and I think you can put out a pretty good fic.
Again I don't want to come across as flaming you, which I'm not just trying to help!
| Tobi Fan 321 chapter 7 . 2/16/2011
Great chapter! wonder who this civilian born ninja is
| JOHSON chapter 7 . 2/16/2011
PLUS THERE IS NO CANCEL, THERE JUST THE CAGE, AND HIS 3 ADVISERS
| JOHSON chapter 7 . 2/16/2011
LIKE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE A PLAN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM LISTENING FROM UNDER THE WINDOW, PLUS THE CAGES OFFICE IS AT THE TOP OF THE TOWER CHRIST,
| True Assassins chapter 7 . 2/16/2011
was the ninja a root member or something at the end anyway great chapter and I can't wait for the next one keep up the great work ja ne
| Narjiro chapter 6 . 2/16/2011
good chapter, keep up the updates plz.