|Reviews for Motivational Reminder|
| William Banner chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
An interesting take on war. You've described the physical sensations of combat very well-in war, chaos reigns, and your senses play odd tricks on you, making some things louder and others softer, some things brighter and others dimmer. It was also nice to see how you attempted to describe the emotional aspect of war, specifically the feeling of brotherhood that the Marine feels towards his comrades. When all is said and done, the Marine fights for those right beside him; the higher concepts of liberty and freedom are used back at base to justify what he's done.
This would appear to have been written with an early Afghanistan or early Iraq viewpoint in mind, but that doesn't necessarily matter. You did quite well for a military-acquianted civilian, I think. Some of the lines repeated, which I find a bit irritating as a writer, but it embodies a reaction that is drilled into the infantry from day one of their training. The dialogue is also a bit characteristic of the Marine infantry, right down to and including the profanity. Speaking from personal experience, Marines are quite possibly the most foul-mouthed of all servicemen, but that only enhances their character.
All in all, bravo zulu. I would recommend going into a bit more detail in future endeavours of this nature, but doing so is hard without a basis on which to write. If your Marine friends are willing, talk to them about it, but respectfully. Warfare is never an easy topic to broach.
Safety and Peace,
NU 2015, Army ROTC.
| JJM8C4J chapter 1 . 5/9/2011
Ah, I guess I would be listed under: "Soon to be Marine." Because thats the best branch for me, in my opinion. Speaking of opinion, nice job. I enjoyed it, also... This 'Jake' reminds me of me. Martial Arts and such, Krav Maga here.
| Julie411 chapter 1 . 2/24/2011
ok this is pretty awesome i felt like i was there, good shit man