|Reviews for Urge|
| Dnana Bana Nana chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
A fantastic insight to a sick but convincing killer. It's extremely haunting, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Though I think it would look a bit more polished with proper quotation marks. But that's just nitpicking, you wrote a phenomenal piece.
I'm a bit jealous of your skills, to be honest. You wrote such clear imagery and descriptions that added to the mood of the story. Not just anyone can do that. There was a lot of love put into this. Wonderful work!
| Slingblade125 chapter 1 . 4/26/2013
You should have gotten lots more reviews for the story. It was a great take on the character. I really enjoyed the read.
| Jokerboy66 chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
The greatest mist vivid story I have ever read on this website.
| Waruitenshi chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
This... was... WICKEDLY AWESOME! Finally! A fanfic/story about a serial killer/Cletus Kasady (I've seen it spell like three different ways... LOL which one is right anyway?) that's good AND fascinating! Also always fun to see how someone spins his story. :D Awesome job on this! I always hate how people don't seem to think a killer and/or insane person can find another person attractive Lmfao I mean, seriously! Wtf?! Most of the time the victims were picked BECAUSE something about them "attracted" the attention of the killer/insane person! Hmm... then again most people probably try not to pry into the minds of killers and/or insane people. shrugs ah well! ANYWHO! LOL This was really great and stay awesome! That is all!
| Symbiotic Toxin chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
Sweet green moses, this is great! I thought I did a good job of writing Cletus, but you practically defined him all together. I love it!
| Mystique1985 chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Very good story. From reading the part where Cletus is tormenting Serena, it sounds like to me that he enjoys both pleasure and pain
| Mistress Baphomet chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
I liked the story, better than most out there, you handled such a sensitive topic with care, not crassly making Cletus some sort of sympathetic woobie, or a rapist (though I DID like the sexual under tones in your work).
The transitions between flash back and present time is handled pretty well also.
The only critique is the pacing; everything feels sort of rushed in certain parts, and sometimes makes the reading a little confusing when there is so much condensed into small paragraphs.
Also for continuity, You had a few things mixed up, first off he killed his biological mother's dog (not his FOSTER parents) that lead to her trying to beat her son to death because she loved the mutt more. Cletus's dad came in to save the boy and beat his wife to death in-front of Cletus. When the trial came he received no defense from his son and was put on death row. THEN came living with his grandmother.
| KrazyKoneko chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
wow this is great! i so hope you continue this i like it so far. . only thing i believe you could change is that when a character is talking your supposed to use this " to show that. Very well written otherwise :D
| undeaddade chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
This is a great insight into Carnage's mind. I don't think Marvel got it as good as you.
| kriitikko chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
A friend of mine told me to read this fic. It's been a while since I've last followed what was happening in Spider-Man comics and even longer since I read a story involving Carnage, so at first I was a bit hesitant.
However, seeing how the fic is about pre-Carnage Cletus made it a lot easier to follow and I have this to say to you: this was fantastic! I'm not familiar with Cletus' backstory so I don't know how much is from comics and how much was made up, but you wrote the whole thing so well that it might have just been official biography.
Sorry that this isn't as big review as I've seen other people give to you, but I loved reading this fic, it's fantastic. Great work!
| Lorien Urbani chapter 1 . 3/27/2011
I am not familiar with the world of Spiderman, so forgive any weird comments in my review. But I can say right at the start: this piece of fiction is brilliant and was incredibly enjoyable to read.
I absolutely loved your characterization of Cletus. You did your research (many plus points!) and included it into your story in a very natural way. He really evolved as a serial killer - it started with an unstable, abusive childhood that introduced him to strong anger and violence and since he never had any stability in his life, it all went downhill from there. I don't think I can stress enough how well you developed his character. I could really notice all the transitions before he became the notorious serial killer that ended up in Ryker's.
He is highly intelligent and sometimes, it can be difficult to write an intelligent character who is also evil, balancing the two, but you pulled it off brilliantly. You made him belieavable; such a person /could/ exist. Such people /have/ existed. Great job! You presented him as a very intelligent predator. And he is a predator, his murders are hunting trips, one might argue. He finds the perfect prey (of the moment), finds excitement in stalking her, getting inside her, and finds release in murdering the victim. Again, you made his killing process very clear and natural. This shows talent. Nothing is forced in your story. He is incredibly creepy. Great job on making him incredibly creepy.
My two favourite moments were his interview with Julia Biggs and his time with Serena Lynn (up until his attacking her).
His time with Julia Biggs showed how perceptive he is and how good he is at mind games. He completely got to her, manipulated her and practically made her come to him, so he could attack her and totally intimidate her. Wow, that interview was SO GOOD and so INTENSE! It was so well constructed. It showed his dominance, his intelligence, his evil nature. And the scariest part is, he made sense when he talked about everyone being evil. So, he exaggerated, but it's true - doesn't wishing a killer would die a painful death show a darkness inside a good person? He has a point. He knows things and doesn't just make up bullshit - that's why he's so dangerous and those around him know it. They are dealing with a completely sane man who happens to be very good at and happy about killing people and proving they're no better than him merely because they don't show themselves inside out.
Kudos to you for coming up with all those amazing lines! I don't know why, but when he said "I /showed/ her.", I cringed. The situation in which he said it, the way he said it (I could just picture it) - all so scary and intense. Amazing what an effect only three words can have.
Serena Lynn was, simply put, his work of art. She was a smart criminologist and he completely outwitted her. In regard to Serena, when they were discussing Carnage, the painting, I was on the edge of my seat, I was just so excited about the intelligence of their conversation.
"'How can they see a modus operandi in this? It's pure chaos. Anarchy. There's no order, no law… nothing. It's nihilistic, it's…'
A word he had never thought of.
A word which fit his situation… his condition." - Just...awesomeness. I love the explanation.
"'Oh, but I understand,' he said. 'I do understand. The rational mind sees carnage in the painting because the rational mind /is evil/.'- Even bigger awesomeness.:) Seriously, you should know that I read a lot, and I haven't come across such great fiction that really made me think in a while. Your piece is both entertaining and intelligent. You balanced the two so well. It's true - we all have a darkness inside us. It's scary, but true and you explained it really well.
I think his transition into Carnage was very belieavable. I mean, in real life there are no parasites that turn one into monsters (I hope...) but I'm sure you know what I mean. The parasite simply...turned his interior on the outside. Like, the monster that people can see now is the monster that had been hiding behind the charming face of an evil, intelligent, manipulative killer. That came off really, REALLY well.
I liked the ending. It was cruel (for Serena), but Cletus reached the highest point of his existence and had to finish it by becoming Carnage properly. And for Carnage, it's a new beginning, starting when he last finished off.
Needless to say, I loved this and you are very talented and insightful. You should seriously write more and I sincerely hope that you post more stories in the future.
| holimacaroni chapter 1 . 2/27/2011
Wow, I'm not very much into the Spiderman-verse but this story is a piece of art. Truly scary and well written. Good job! Faved!
| HoistTheColours chapter 1 . 2/15/2011
“So you think evil is in one's mind, not in one's nature.”
“A man's nature is the fruit of his mind… right?” -These lines… I have no words. These lines are perfect. In fact, the whole scene in the bar between Serena and “Adam” was downright fascinating. I was just… completely captivated by their dialogue. Their conversation, as psychological as it was, almost felt like a sort of foreplay, in a sense. Not in the sexual banter kind of way, but something else; something far more sinister, perhaps. I almost feel like Serena knew what she was getting herself into when inviting “Adam” out for a drink, but she was too blinded by her own fascination to care.
When he imagined the tiny freckles on her nose to be small dots of blood, I just smiled, because as a crazy as he is, I believe a man like him would imagine something like that. Like I said, you embodied the mind of serial killer. Small details like that really add to the story. A lot of people take that for granted, and I’m glad that you don’t.
When Serena introduced her wall covered in newspaper articles to Cletus, I have to say, I was probably about just as shocked as he was. I couldn’t believe it, almost as much as I couldn’t believe that she had invited this man she had only just met into her apartment on their first outing.
There’s chilling symbolism in the fact that Cletus pins Serena to the wall where his whole life’s work is taped to it behind her. All of the hours and the effort she put into studying this unnamed man… only to have that same man choose her as his next victim and force her against the wall of her own sick fascination and his former crimes. That had to be the best scene in the whole chapter, and it literally left me breathless.
Another thing: it’s infuriating how conversational and nonchalant Cletus is as he is carving into Serena and pinning her to the floor. It’s maddening, and I just have the urge to scream and cry out for her… but that’s what you intended for, wasn’t it? To leave the readers feeling frustrated and helpless by Cletus? He’s a mere man, but you’ve somehow made him so much at the same time.
I love that you gave Venom a role in this story, small as it was. It was interesting, seeing the two of them interact. Brock’s personality differs very much from Cletus’s. Brock is just a semi-innocent man, consumed by an evil force. Cletus, on the other hand, is evil by nature, by instinct.
The ending scene, heart-pounding, thrilling, terrifying, and honest-to-goodness /phenomenal/… was all that I could have ever hoped and anticipated for. The ending paragraph and its following line “Carnage” was brilliant.
This whole story was brilliant, in fact, and by far the most impressive and detailed one-shot I’ve ever read in my life, and I truly, truly mean that. You’ve created a masterpiece; a psychological, mind-boggling masterpiece.
The intricacies, the research, all the little nuances of each and every character - it was all so meticulously planned, and I commend you for all the hard work and dedication that I /know/ you put into this piece of work - excuse me - piece of /art./
Never stop writing. Ever. And thank you for writing this tremendous story. I will never forget it.
| HoistTheColours chapter 1 . 2/15/2011
This is, without a doubt, one of the most effortlessly beautiful pieces of fanfiction I have /ever/ read.
This isn’t even fanfiction in my eyes, it’s something so much more than that, something deeper, something so psychology intellectual that it left me feeling dizzy with emotion and practically incoherent.
To suffice: you blew my mind.
I can’t even being to describe the effect this story has made on me. It was truly a reading experience I shan’t forget. You’ve created this wonderful, stunning masterpiece, and I was unable to tear my eyes from the page. Nothing else existed for those moments where I was engrossed in your story. It was as if I had entered an entirely different universe. It was both thrilling and terrifying, the sensation of being completely immersed inside the mind of a psychopath. The way you were able to embody Cletus almost has me questioning your own sanity, but alas, I jest. It only goes to show what a powerful, talented author you are.
Already in the few opening paragraphs we’re introduced to the character of Cletus and his thoughts on prison, his sanity, and “redeeming himself,” a notion which he obviously finds preposterous.
The image you painted in the third paragraph was heartbreaking. Cletus mentions “rehabilitation” almost as if it’s a joke, and truly, Cletus does a pretty good job of asserting that idea. How is he supposed to rehabilitate himself if he’s “spending time in the forgotten corner of the world” and his prison cell is so small that “he couldn’t stand up without bumping his head into the ceiling”? Certainly, who would even /want/ to redeem themselves after such an experience? Most wouldn't even want to waste the effort.
The opening scene is brilliant, needless to say, and I love the way you described prison life - as horrifying as it was -but I think you definitely painted a more-than accurate description of it. It’s realistic, it’s gritty, and I loved it.
The only piece of advice I have for that particular scene is that the ending of it was almost anti-climatic and rather abrupt. An easy transition into the next paragraph or perhaps a different ending would be better suitable, but it’s nothing that makes or breaks the story. The ending sentence does tie in with the opening one, but again, it’s so abrupt, it’s a little disruptive to the reading, but only slightly; simply a thought.
‘He wasn't patient enough. He wasn't strong enough. He wasn't intelligent enough. He wasn't educated enough.
He was, he wasn't… what was he?
He was, apparently, a plethora of 'too much' and 'not enough'.’ -Brilliant. Already at a young age, you’ve established Cletus’s dissatisfaction with himself, and his questioning as to why nothing he does is ever good enough. It’s a terrible thought for anyone to have, let alone a child, and it’s easy to see why such a mindset later became so destructive. Of course, I’m sure it wasn’t the only thing.
“And he didn't care about friends. He didn't need friends. All people were evil, so why should he team up with people who pretended to be good to him when he knew they'd backstab him in the end?” -Cletus’s thoughts on friendship are frighteningly odd for a boy his age. He’s convinced himself that everyone is evil… so why would he want to associate with those who claim otherwise? With hypocrites? I have to wonder where this attitude stemmed from. It seems like he blames a lot on his grandmother, (‘It was her fault if no one would come close to him at school – his face was always bruised, or scratched.’) and granted, she does seem to be the main cause of many of the negativities in his life. She was, after all, his first victim.
The scene where Cletus pushes her down the stairs absolutely shocked me. I mean, (and I think you can testify to this fact because I told you so during my first reading,) but I literally gasped aloud. I hadn’t been expecting it, and it was just so unnaturally cruel that I couldn’t help but cringe.
Also cruel? Putting Spot “out of his misery.” Animals, especially dogs, hold a place dear to my heart, so that was a difficult scene to read. On the other hand, animal cruelty in any form is always unpleasant. Thank you for not going into detail.
Leah Bentley. There is so much I could say about her. In the short span of time in which you introduced her character, my heart immediately went out to her, and I think that was mainly because she reminds me of myself, a little; she is entirely naïve and little too trusting for her own good. Everything she did I was going, “Man, I would have done the same thing.” And then… then her tragic ending. I found myself mad at Cletus for killing this poor, innocent girl. And what’s more, my heart went out to the man (who is presumably her father,) Bentley; I felt insurmountable grief for him. It’s not something I realized until my second reading, but it’s got to hurt to know that the man who killed your little girl is still alive, and, albeit in prison, still functioning as a semi-normal human being. It’s a blow to the chest, really.
Anyways, I found myself way more excited to read that scene than I should have been; because despite my grief, it was strangely appealing to read. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, eyes tearing down the page as fast as they could. The suspense was nearly too much to bear, and I loved that.
It’s rather frightening to think that Allison’s death was consequently caused by an action that Cletus is all too familiar with: pushing people to their deaths… /literally./ First down a staircase, now in front of a bus. Mentally, you’ve established that Cassidy is clearly not well. I want to pity him, but you make it hard. He has no remorseful thoughts, no regrets, nothing. He’s the perfect psychopath, if such a thing can be said.
Also, I thought it was worth mentioning that my mouth actually opened in horror to learn that Cletus had actually /buried/ his prom date behind the school. I mean… wow. I can’t help but picture him there in the dark, dressed in a snug, black prom suit, the moonlight glinting off the shovel as he digs a hole to deposit Joanne’s dead body into. Imagery wise, it’s horrifically thrilling.
Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get more interesting, you introduce Julia Biggs, Kasady’s new psychiatrist. I have to tell you, the dialogue in that scene, well, it was phenomenal, and I don’t use that term lightly. It was probably the most engaging and fascinating conversation I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, and I really do mean that. Kasady’s blatant sexual jibes were disturbingly amusing, and it was easy to gauge that Julia was made uncomfortable by it, no matter how hard she tried not to show it. Gradually, you see her calm, stoic façade start to crack, and it’s /crazy/ to read because you know anyone else in her position would be doing the exact same thing. As the reader, even /I/ felt flustered by some of Kasady’s comments, so I can’t praise you enough on that.
“Have you ever seen black blood? I haven't. And trust me, I've seen a fair lot of blood in my life.' He let out a deep sigh. 'It's dark, that it is. Darker if it's late at night. But it's never black, not even in the moonlight. It always has a red shade, no matter how dark it is.” -Brilliant, not only was this small peek into Cletus’s mind fascinating, you also succeeded in capturing powerful imagery was well. As I was picturing the red blood in the moonlight that he just described, I was reminded of Cletus killing Leah Bentley in that one alleyway. Even if that scene didn’t happen at night, I nevertheless pictured him kneeling at her side in the darkness, blood coating his hands as he marveled at its crimson color.
‘His fingers enclosed her wrist with the force of a metallic claw,’ -One word: perfect.
I was terrified when Julia actually stepped forward to hand Cletus the pictures… I was mentally screaming at her not to fall for the oldest trick in the book, but alas, just as Kasidy pointed out, “people under a great deal and anxiety can react to the predicament they found themselves in with two different behaviours. The first was to be so empty-minded to find it impossible to think lucidly, and therefore to act stupidly – in other words, to freak out.” -I think this perfectly describes Julia’s reaction to the situation, and why she ultimately found herself with Cletus’s arm wrapped around her neck.
‘He wanted to kill her so bad that he felt like throwing up.’ -This line was powerful. It’s frightening to think that Cletus gets physically sick with anticipation over killing his designated prey. He’s almost unable to control himself.
‘Come and get me. I know you can. I know you will.’ -I absolutely love this line, and the lengths at which you went to make sure it got repeated several times. It served its purpose well.
I think, and this is entirely my own opinion, but I think one of the main reasons why this story is so terrifying is because, much like the Joker, Cletus’s reasoning and his theory on humanity is /right/, and as humans beings, that is what’s most scary. No one likes to admit that they’re wrong, that they’ve been duped by society, that they’re /bad./ Society sets rules and most people are guided by a moral compass or a sense of justice, yes, but when it comes right down to it, you can’t hide from your own thoughts. I’m not saying we’re all evil beings and deserve to burn in Hell; no, definitely not. There are redeemable qualities in almost everyone I think, yes, but no one is inherently good. Basically, I do believe there is partial truth to what Cletus believes, but only partial. It’s difficult to explain. I guess what I mean to say is that Cletus is right when he says nobody is perfect (not that he ever said that, but I’m sure he thinks that,) but I don’t think everyone is truly evil. Not evil like him, anyway. He’s clearly a bit demented from childhood.
| davros fan chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
Amazing! Very vivid