Reviews for The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya: Tsukuribanashi
Kenji Tamada chapter 4 . 3/29/2014
Congratz to an epic story.
I had high hopes that Kyon would be able to keep more of his sanity but this is an Higurashi story and you depicted the illness perfectly. Some parts, like the door scene with Asahina, were a good homage to the Higurashi arcs although I have to say that he must have been far gone to not realise it was Asahina he attacked even after he saw her hand later on. Never even crossed his mind.
Your Yuki is far more emotional than she is normally depicted though I guess that is due to having no connection to the data entity. Her planned reset was strange to me nonetheless.
Since this fiction is centered around the SOS brigade and Kyon in particular the Hinamizawa cast gets a backseat and is therefoe sadly not well depicted. Rika is the sole exception due to her important role as knowing victim of the loop. I would be glad if more screentime could be given to our local heroes as well.
Maybe due to the fact that it was long ago that I read the VN but was Tomitake really willing to send bystanders to Takano to get infected? Wasnt he one of those wh tried to keep it under control? He seems kinda off to me at least...he is as creepy as Takano (and thats one high mark to reach!) .

Hope to see this excellent series continue and would be very glad to have an arc from the perspective of the Hinamizawa crowd. Well maybe in the answer arcs
Also I would like to thank you for your effort in making this epic tale and wish you a much grander publicity.
tomaO2 chapter 4 . 11/4/2013
Well, this story, and the pre-equal, are... good. The narration style is perfectly Kyon. All the characters seem in character. Plenty of death as a 'When They Cry' story demands. The two stories had a lot of major differences to distinguish them as well.

It also had another trait of the two cannon series that I loath. Incredible passivity by various characters. I hated the Endless 8 arc. I hate it beyond the fact that it was the single most repetitious time loop tale I have read in my life. Having the ONE person that knows what is happening (Yuki) and does NOTHING really sets me off. She has no right to be upset about it when she does nothing to stop it. EVER! Almost as bad is how little the rest of the SOS Brigade does to get out of their situation after Yuki explains it. They just mull around and keep doing what they always have done. Contemptible. At least Yuki has a bit of an excuse.

In much the same way, we have another time loop story for 'When They Cry'. The looping girl does very little. We also have a ghost that could easily figure out who killed the original victims and Rika but doesn't because PLOT! Even worse is the total mind screw of the series. I finished the second arc before I couldn't stand it anymore and spent several hours reading all the plot points. It's not fair to just keep piling on more and more question arc episodes, back to back, before finally starting some answers. Unlike Endless 8, at least there are different actions but no real reasoning as to why they act so different and the situation takes much, MUCH longer to resolve even the smallest mysteries.

To me, a time loop story needs to show someone striving to fight against it. That is a must, yet here again they don't do much of anything. I'm going to guess that the restoration of Yuki's and Harihi's powers are linked with being infected? Which is why the first story had them regain abilities and the second did not. I gave a cheer when Rika sat Kyon down to lay out the cards and he actually BELIEVED HER, then says 'lol nope' to helping break the curse. It's pretty much a wait to die for everyone at that point.

Likewise, in this story, it's only Kyon that goes crazy. It could have been... stopped. Rika is supposed to be able to take down the symptoms right? Yuki doesn't help she just decides to erase her old existence. Everyone is so useless to stop the horrors. Why did Asahina stick her hand through the door anyway? WHO DOES THAT? She knew he was acting strange.

This isn't an answer arc at ALL! That is the single worst thing about this story. In what way is this an answer arc? I hate this series for killing everyone, over and over again. For not giving answers too. So much death, it's maddening. Why haven't you written a proper answer arc? If everyone just stayed dead that would also be one thing but the loop continues. The bare minimum, I feel, is to at least end the loop before deciding this type of story is complete. Having a time loop story and not ending the loop is unforgivable. I'd have preferred an incomplete story to the frustration of getting another death loop, knowing it's going to start again.

Again, good story but extremely frustrating. I'm not against horror or everyone dying but a time loop story needs the loop to end I don't consider this crossover complete without that much. Would also be nice for everyone to fight a bit harder against their fate.
Madcinder chapter 4 . 9/12/2013
Yeah, well, that went well. I think Kyon failed at fixing everything. How horrible. Bravo.
KonoSetsu Lover chapter 4 . 4/2/2013
At the end of Chapter 1, I was a bit unerved, but no more so than the first act.
At the end of Chapter 2, I was bit disturbed,but holding out.
At the end of Chapter 3, I was biting my nails, on the edge of whatever seat I wound up reading on throughout the day.
At the end of Chapter 4, oh gods above.
I was crying at the bit with Yuki, I was scared for the entire Brigade, and I just wanted the fucking nightmare to end.

Thank you. This- No. Just...Thank you.
CaptainDistraction chapter 4 . 11/2/2012
I would have to say SPOILERS :(kyon) as the victim of hinamizawa was THE most repellent, thing i've seen in higruashi, he's just so... unrepentant he's all logic just doing what he thinks needs to be done, and everytime he murders it's not out of fear it's just his logic gets all twisted and murderous, the worst is that he can sit there calmly and say 'I murdered someone' I don't know whether to be disgusted or horrified that he can say that, without any overt reaction.

Extremely well written, the last line was a perfect finisher for the way he was acting, and i REALLY want you to continue writing this series just so there can be an answer arc where everything doesn't go to hell. PLEASE continue writing this series, i HAVE to see what Asakura's doing when she keeps popping up, and i need to see this end happily because i love all of these characters too much.
Inara Seraph chapter 4 . 8/31/2012
Having Kyon regain his sanity after stabbing Haruhi was genius. I shed a manly tear at their (not so) final exchange. I wish there were more arcs.
The Weird Kid chapter 4 . 8/22/2012
Loved this story! It's cool seeing someone as calm and cool headed like Kyon going insane. Also I like the poems with the angel. I can totally Berncastel watch angel Kyon falling then looking up to see angel Haruhi laughing her ass off at him. That is really funny
thelittlegamers chapter 4 . 8/12/2012
Really good.

There is nothing else to say, truely. The story is a very good blend of Haruhi and Higurashi together, keeping all the characters well in... well, in character, with a fast but pleasing pacing. It retains the pathetic and at times dreadful genre of Higurashi with the characters of Haruhi. Moreover, the two stories complements perfectly together, with one more focused on the SOS brigade and the second on Kyon. It seems like there is nothing more to write for the "question" arc.

...And I can't help but think your two stories needs an "answer arc", or even a "good" end. Higurashi was as much about the horrors as the struggle for victory. Do you intend to write another story after these too? This reader of yours would be truly delicted to read more about the brigade struggle in Hinamizawa.

In any case, that was a good read. Thank you.
The Dark Deceiver chapter 4 . 5/1/2012
Well now, this was more like it! Could do with less swearing, but I digress.

This is more in character, and more Higurashi style! You also get major Internet points for putting Godzilla in it.

If Arc 3 comes out, I'll be happy. Oh, I gotta let you know, there were some spelling errors in this one. Not many, but they were there.

Good job though!
ralf07 chapter 4 . 4/21/2012
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait... Please tell me that there will be sequel for this. You can't just end it like this or else i haunt you in your dream untill you make a sequel.
DemonRaily chapter 4 . 3/24/2012
I loved the story, couldn't get enough of it.

Would it be wrong to expect sequel?
Orenji-Man chapter 4 . 3/10/2012
I'm gonna keep this review short and simple.

You're "The Cries of Haruhi Suzumiya" fanfictions are BY FAR the best fanfictions I have ever read on this website. Hell, they're better than a lot of the books I've read. Do the world a favor and never stop writing.

I'll be looking forward to the next installment.
Michael S. Repton chapter 4 . 2/5/2012
Oh, wow. That was an incredible ending, and not at all what I expected. Yuki's scene was very good - just like in Higurashi, she is trying so hard to reach out to Kyon and stop him going mad, and that was a real moment of heartwarming such as we haven't had in this story yet. Rika, even better, doing her best to help and for a moment it felt like she might get somewhere - it's noticeable that Kyon's narration becomes much less crazy and self-justifying. Of course, this moment of calmness just made his decision to kill Haruhi a real shock.

But it was that scene after he stabs her that was really the best part of the whole story. First, Kyon's narrative is incredibly well done here and really brings alive his feelings in all their chaos. Then Haruhi's reaction, and the way she still trusts Kyon and tries to reach out to him - "Don't leave me", and even more so, "Thank you for giving Kyon back" ... you know, the first arc was good, but it was a bit over-the-top and none of the deaths really tugged on the heartstrings like this one. Honestly, this is one of my favourite death scenes in any fiction. Even looking back at it to think of what I want to say in the review, I'm shuddering. And then Ryouko's scene coming on top of that... just perfect. Looks like Kyon has finally found the way out of the labyrinth, too late for this arc of course, but I'm *definitely* anxiously looking forward to the next one.

Many thanks for writing and sharing this awesome story!
Michael S. Repton chapter 3 . 2/5/2012
Yup, I was definitely right when I predicted this would be even nastier than the first arc. Kyon being the crazy one and the fact that we get to read his narrative as he tries to justify himself is *really* scary, and really well written. To start with, Kyon leaking "data dust" instead of maggots was a really nice touch; one can almost understand him going off the rails. But slamming the door on Mikuru like that and then remaining oblivious when it was really, really, screamingly, painfully obvious what he'd done certainly made him lose any possible sympathy. Though as it's all down to the Syndrome I'm sure he'll regain it in the next arc. They all come out in the wash, as Willy Wonka said.

I like the way his narrative suddenly starts skipping details and makes it unclear what's going on - for instance, obviously he made Koizumi fall off that bridge, but given that Koizumi had a gun trained on him I have no idea how. And I don't want to know what he did to Rena. But I have a sneaking suspicion that we're going to find out the truth behind Haruhi's injuries and I'm not going to like it. Yup, for the first time in this story I really am scared. But not going on would be even worse, so I shall open up the last chapter...
Michael S. Repton chapter 2 . 2/5/2012
Oh dear. This actually feels even darker than the first arc, even though the really bad stuff hasn't started to happen yet, just because you're taking so long to build up and keep us in suspense. And from Takano and Irie's conversation, it sounds like Kyon is going to have the Syndrome this time, which means absolutely nothing can be taken at face value. Well, I'm definitely hooked now :) And very curious as to how Rena knew about the time travel...
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