|Reviews for The Spirit of Redemption|
| Pint-sized She-Bear chapter 140 . 10/26
The character development for Rellus and Seheve is fantastic
| Pint-sized She-Bear chapter 139 . 10/26
Hell of a chapter
| PoptartProdigy chapter 70 . 10/3
No tar, feathers, or pitchforks here, but I do have a question:
What *happened* to Legion? Joker and EDI bring him up here, but you actually...haven't. I mean, you've told us what happened to Miranda and Alenko, who've had no screen presence whatsoever, but it's actually gone unstated what happened with Legion. And that's kind of odd, because unlike Alenko and Miranda, you and the characters actually seem to like Legion.
Anyway, this was a brilliant twist and the ultimate denouement to Joker's character arc. Absolutely spectacular. Thank you for posting!
| BlackRavenD chapter 97 . 7/15
Hey there! I've been wanting to review again, but haven't gotten to it yet. I don't know if you remember me, but I already read this story but couldn't hold myself and began reading It again. It is a whole new experience watching the young guns grow when you already know how far they will manage to get! And the Spectre trials are close, and I see Dara and Rel's marriage crumbling, and everything else, I'm so excited!
| feathers177 chapter 46 . 7/13
Re-reading the whole series again and I had to say how much I enjoyed the Lantar and Ellie love story. Made me tear up! It captured a beautiful moment of love keeping the world at bay and the much needed healing of two wounded souls. This story is my all-time favorite science fiction/fantasy/fan fiction series hands down. Thank you for this wonderful work of art.
| RiotDragon chapter 162 . 7/2
To any and all reading this review, if you wish not to spoil the story for yourself, please refrain from reading further! This is your last warning:
THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!
So, after spending months reading this behemoth of a story, I've finally finished it. And to say the least, I feel like I've aged right along with the characters.
To start off early in the story, I love the characters. Each of them seemed to have their own thing going for them. Most stories with a large cast of characters tend to have most of them falling into certain categories. The serious one, the joker, the valorous, etc. You, but putting specific attention on each character the way you did early managed to keep this from happening and your entire story thrives from this. Thank you for showing me that something like this is possible.
As for the relationships, tell Dempsey I'm sorry, but I'm totally stealing Zhasa for myself. Seriously though, each one felt like a great match. Thanks to your story, I've kinda found something out about myself that I never knew. That I'm a sucker for new relationships. Early on in the story, as Rel and Dara first began theirs, I accidentally stumbled onto some fanart with Eli and Dara, with Dara's last name clearly showing Sidonis instead of Velnaran. I was highly upset at the time because I had just grown to love the pair of them, and to enjoy reading their interaction as an actual couple. The same pretty much goes for Eli and Serana, except I didn't spoil that for myself. While I would have loved to have seen where they would have went if they HAD stayed in their original relationships(ElixSerana, DaraxRel, LinxSeheve), you did a masterful job of transitioning them to the new ones, and I loved them even more. You threw me for a bit of a loop though when Seheve and Rel started off. Totally unexpected from my perspective.
Your taking of the galaxy and forming it into your own work of art, while not changing it too far from its roots was incredible. You did end up throwing a little voodoo in here and there with the Sower relics, but to be honest, that only makes the story more interesting, as long as it's controlled. And you did just that. Small amounts of mystery with the relics, the small changes from Eli's Asari genes, to Dara's transformation, to the regen mods, and the many other things that weren't heavily established in the universe already. All of those things were given in perfect amounts to spice up the story (and were also explained in a believable manner within the context of the universe) without turning everything into a space magic fest, which can easily be done with fanfiction.
And can I just say that this story has occupied me for the last...I think six months now? That's longer than I've put into any series to date, including the massive Song of Ice and Fire novels. This story is certainly made for fans, and you do well to cater to them without breaking away from the believable in the story. And I can confidently say that every second I devoted to reading this story was totally worth it.
Now...there were a few things I did take note of however. And in this portion, I'll not be petty, just announcing things I did happen to notice in the story. Pretty early on, I think it got a bit crazy with the whole 'having twins' thing between the families on Mindoir. At first, I just put it off as one of the 'clauses' of the Solus template, seeing as Lantar and Ellie had a single hybrid that wasn't created by Mordin. However, after a while, it just became twins, twins, twins, and more twins, even without the template being involved. While that doesn't really take anything away from the story itself, it can knock someone a bit out of the immersive world you created. Also, as a brain floating in a skull, heavily dosed with constant ADD, it made it a bit hard to remember who was who's kid when they started getting into that phase of the story.
On another note, I did read about your thoughts on the 'longer lived' races, such as Asari, Elves, and possibly Draenei given your heavy references to Warcraft in the story. And I do agree, both that Asari, being the first, being long lived, and being purely biotic may have some kind of racial complex of themselves, and that because of their long life-spans, are more prone to making decisions that stagnate their own society. Yet I was disappointed to find that aside from a few specific characters (Siara, who turned out to be a kind of antagonist, and Ylara/Melaani/Samiel, who weren't in the big picture until much later), the Asari were kind of shunned from the story. Even Liara, who was crucial in helping Shepard find Saren and the Mu Relay, who practically devoted herself to Shepard's cause at the end of the Shadow Broker DLC, was seen as kind of an annoyance to Shepard when they met face to face. And although I have no problems with the destruction of Thessia as a whole for the stories sake, you did kind of make every Asari who wasn't affiliated with the Spectres out to be kind of conniving.
Despite that, you still did a fantastic job in creating the cultures, histories, religions, languages, traditions, and many other things that the writers of Mass Effect kind of left blank. It...to say the least...blew my mind to see such things shown freely when they were kind of missing from the games AND THE BOOKS! (Talking to you Mr. Karpyshyn.) And on top of all that, I don't think I've ever read a story (religious texts aside. _) that encompassed this huge of a timeline. Especially the fast forward at the end, which I kinda wasn't liking at first with the thousands of years skipping ahead. But once again, you flipped me on my head and managed to make me like even those.
All that aside, the only things I saw wrong with the story were a consistent misspelling of the planet Kar'shan, making it Kar'sharn instead, and the occasional accidental moment of calling the Spectre's the 'Special Tasks and Reconnaissance' instead of Tactics. With a story this big, if that's all I, someone who has recently discovered his Sherlockian ability to spot flaws in everything everyone does, have to complain about, then you can be damn sure that this is, and will remain one of my favorite stories of all time. In fact, I had told you before that I intended to write a certain story in the universe, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd love for it to be set in yours. Your story did inspire me to write a universe away from yours as well, basically my interpretation of the three games (with a highly edited 3 of course) with my MShep, but the story I spoke of before, I would be highly honored to be able to put it into your universe.
I think I've spent too long on this now...so I'm gonna go now. In the meantime, may the effect of your mass not put you into a black hole.
...hmmm...I don't think that works as well as 'Live long and prosper'.
PS: I think Bioware may have a reader of your story, as the new ME4 game is to be set in a new galaxy. Up until it's revealed who the character is, I'm totally picturing him/her as Elijah/Dara.
| Sollitus chapter 32 . 5/27
Rereading for what must be the third time. Amazing Work.
| RiotDragon chapter 133 . 5/23
But Mye! What about laser beams! :D
| Agastopia chapter 1 . 5/24
Well goodbye sleep
| RiotDragon chapter 115 . 5/14
Oh my god...I need one of those little Rachni. Like, right now. He will be my mini destroyer of toast...
| RiotDragon chapter 53 . 4/8
I must stop...need...sleep...
| RiotDragon chapter 43 . 4/7
I just want to say congratulations. As a former Armed Forces member, you have almost seamlessly recreated boot camp/basic training in this chapter. I read in a later Authors Note that you are doing this from an outside perspective as well, so double kudos to you.
Ahhh...the memories this brings back.
| BlackRavenD chapter 162 . 3/25
Oh. My. God. What a story! So very very good! Spent over a year reading it and now I finally finished, but I wish I hadn't. Gonna miss tbis story SO much. It was a really huge part of my life for that year. While I read it I would forget to eat, because I was so focused in it that I just couldn't stop reading. One thing that I really liked about this story is how it gave way to new original characters to grow and own their place. How it wasn't just about Shepard and Shepard's life, it was about all of it. The galaxy evolving and shifting and new people arriving and new species flourishing. A deeper look into the cultural background of the diferent species, which is a thing I really missed in the games. Wow, I just want to congratulate and THANK you with all my heart, for giving me such awesome times, such good characters for me to fall in love and hate and fall in love all over again. In these final chapters I cried so much every time someone would go into the cryopods, because I felt like a friend was gone, not to comeback. I felt everything with each character throughout the story, how they grew, how they learned, how they became who they were at the end. I never read something like this, and I'm really glad that I had tha t opportunity. Again, thank you very very much!
Greetings from Brazil ;*
| RiotDragon chapter 25 . 3/22
So, I have to say that so far this is one of the best Mass Effect FF's that I've read to date. Rarely do I see OC's done so well. So today I decided to check and see how much of this glorious story I have left to go through. And to my surprise, I've barely scratched the surface. And for that, I thank you.
I've been meaning to review this, but normally I end up reading at work where I can't reply, so I'll just put most of me thoughts in here.
Very clever with the Haliat 'plastic surgery' thing. I always thought he looked odd, but didn't realize that he was actually a turian design. I like that you went with Dara and Rellus, as opposed to Dara and Eli, as I thought that they didn't really mesh well together.
And I had a curious question. The whole culture of the turians, from the wedding knife, to the face paint on women, to the rites, biting, and all that. Was that entirely your creative input? Or is that all canon lore for the turians. Because if it is your creative input, would you mind if I were to use the same as canon in my future Mass Effect stories?
| omfgtabby chapter 162 . 3/20
While I find the prose well written, I feel it's wasted on the unfortunate attitudes of the author (especially in regards to relationship of gamer and game developer, and character development) unkind commentary.
Furthermore, the choice to shun relationships that stray outside heterosexual pairings because of a fear of not correctly hitting all the right gay community notes is disingenuous and indicative that the author fails to separate persona from person and understand that gay people and couples can fulfill certain tropes and stereotypes without being reduced to those tropes and stereotypes.
There is also the matter of her erasure of asexuals, choosing to have her narrative frame an entire race's canon asexuality as being a by-product of societal conditioning, rather than a legitimate and natural biological function, upon which she could explore the effects of said asexuality in an environment which would encourage romantic (but NOT sexual) feelings.
Finally, there are almost no non-white or non-white-passing human characters that aren't straight from the games. Her lack of representation in this fic, among other things, has made it impossible for me to reconcile my enjoyment of the writing itself with the problematic themes, which is frustrating given that I have for the most part genuinely enjoyed this work. I hope that her future endeavors will improve on these matters.