Reviews for Honmei
Stine chan USA chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
;) cute. this story is definately really cute!
Low Definition chapter 1 . 2/15/2011
I absolutely loved this! The characterizations were spot on; I can't figure out any way to make them more in character. Good job! In regards to the idea behind the story, it was also quite excellent.

Now, on to grammar and style. Honestly, had you not said you had written this in ten minutes, I wouldn't have realized it. Your sentance variety and flow worked nicely with Hime's thought process: getting ever-so-slightly more choppy as her thoughts did. I, myself, enjoyed the writing style.

As for grammar, I'm not to sure on the rules with dashes; it's a punctuation that I am rather unfamiliar with in usage. Everything seems to work, but then again, I would not be the best critic for that sort of thing.

The only phrase that didn't make sense to me was: "Hime had decided not to mention..." in the first sentance of paragraph four. I get what you're trying to say, but maybe mention wasn't the best verb choice? Though, I'm not quite sure what you'd use there, other than a different synonym of "think about."

Well, I hope this review was remotely useful!

Keep it up, this was fantastic!

Lo Def