|Reviews for Forging Destiny|
| Chibi-Kogitsune chapter 1 . 4/17
I couldn't help but notice a little mistake you made in this chapter: you said "blended with grief", but the saying is actually "BLINDED with grief". I get that since you're from Germany (I checked) English probably isn't your first language and since I used to teach English at the local High School I DO understand how hard it is to learn with all the same-sounding words—even for native speakers.
| Staale Nilsen chapter 6 . 4/11
Two pionts from me.
1. So far, after reading tons (almost literally) of HP fanfics, I must admit that this is one of the ones I have enjoyed the most so far. The ony trap I feel you might have gone into is to make him richer and inheriting more than he really should have, unless you have real plan for all of the families he inherited (I have seen several fics where he inherited this and that house just because we feel he deserved it due to his abuse). I will, of course hold judgement, and repeat, I love everything else about this story!
2. I have read the word technomancy used in stead of technomagic. It sounds more impressive, and unless there is a reason for the difference, it might be an idea to use it.
Finally; thank you so for for a great fic, hope it stays that way:)
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/10
Why is Sirius speaking so formally
| MARDONSGT chapter 38 . 4/9
| Skullprincess46 chapter 13 . 3/31
this is a good story, sometimes a little too on the nose with the dialogue but overall it has a decent storyline. however, the part where you have Dobby the free house elf arbitrarily give away his freedom without even a second thought (even if it is for Harry Potter) or to ask to be compensated monetarily goes completely against his character. it feels like that scene was horribly rushed and not well thought out. in addition, is Harry ever going to feel the need to inform his best friends what he's been up too? they are like his siblings to him and he usually tells them everything. i look forward to when you write the scene where he comes clean to his friends.
| juniorjay chapter 14 . 3/27
The article Rita supposedly written reads wrong...
she got the names correct
she actually cross referenced her facts with sources.
the quotes were accurate.
it sounds so polished and decent it is so not Rita.
Oh well. Maybe just me.
Good story nonetheless..
| X chapter 10 . 2/23
I notice that you live in Germany, so English is probably a second language for you. In light of that, please take this as constructive criticism - something to help you. A great deal of your dialogue is rather stiff, formal, and at times tends towards being a speech. In formal letters (but not letters to friends), school lectures and, of course, in speeches, that is perfectly acceptable, but not so much when people are talking to each other. Even in business conversations (except in the case of presentations), while conversations might be more formal (depending on the degree of friendship of the people), speeches would be avoided.
If English IS a second language for you, you are otherwise doing quite well - not perfect, but quite well. Then again, very few native English speakers have a good grasp on the written language anymore, and grammar is usally poor, so you're doing better than most.
| nightwing27 chapter 25 . 2/16
in my story not only the potters will live they will destory every plot that gay old fool has for them and their son they will be no propacy happening that gay old fool making a fake one is known by the potters and long bottoms. and his plot to have fudge be minister will not happen no way the potters will allowed the worst minister ever to ruin things james father will be minister of magic and use deadly force on tom's girls and oh yes if that old fool thinks he's going to have harry arrested if he killed tom without harry dying not going to happen his grandfather is going make sure of that
| Aubrey Mills chapter 4 . 2/9
OH MY GOD! RITA SKEETER IS BEING NICE! EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! But seriously, that is really amazing.
| Aubrey Mills chapter 1 . 2/8
Okay I know I just reviewed, but harry said what the fuck, he wouldn't have ever said that, unless MAYBE to Voldie or his Death Munchers...
| Aubrey Mills chapter 1 . 2/8
'And now I am in deep shit with the ministry of magic.' Hahahaha you've killed me with the hilarity of that comment.
| Aubrey Mills chapter 5 . 2/2
OH MY GOD I LUV THIS BOOK CAN I KILL DUMBLEDORK I DONT KNOW WHY THIS IS ALL IN CAPS LOCK IM KINDA HYPER RIGHT NOW...
| HeartsGlow chapter 37 . 1/15
I can understand getting a grade above 100% overall in a subject if you do an extra project, but these were EXAMS. How do you get more than 100% in an exam?!
| HeartsGlow chapter 35 . 1/15
I love the idea of changing the tasks, and having more than one champion per school.
| HeartsGlow chapter 34 . 1/15
In case you've just forgotten, Hogwarts is a TEN month school. You also need to watch out for writing "had had", or "that that". They are grammatically incorrect. I noticed quite a few writers doing this, but don't understand why they write that way. If you read your sentences leaving one of them out, it still makes sense. If not, use another word. ("That it had happened" is better than "that that happened") Had is past tense so you don't need to write it twice. "He had two nearly successful attempts" sounds much better than "he had had two". If you were to write "he had chicken for dinner" (correct) but wrote "he had had chicken" (incorrect) because for some reason you need two past tense verbs, then write "he had eaten chicken". Otherwise, I love the story. I hope you see this as helpful rather than derogatory.