Reviews for Harry Potter and the Unspeakable
Elsa2 chapter 1 . 2/3/2012
Wow, great start. I love how you've got Toby in there as a dad-with-a-heart, which makes a nice change. And Dumbledore is out of the picture? Or is he...? Extra touch of suspense, having the Death Eater Rookwood lurking at the edges of the story... I take it he's a separate person from Ravenwood?
VioletMarauder chapter 3 . 1/7/2012
It's refreshing to read a fic where Harry is realistically frightened and wary of his rescuer.
Bewitchedgal chapter 10 . 12/29/2011
What a pleasure it was to read this story. You made it both interesting and believable but also you wrote it with few grammatical errors.

Very well done
DragonWhisperer123 chapter 8 . 12/23/2011
You really hate James Potter, don't you?
Sandra Fiore chapter 9 . 12/19/2011
I just found and read Hary Potter and the Unspeakable and enjoyed it very much. NoI wasn't surprised by the sorting hat, I guessed it right away. I did like the idea of 2 familiars.

Your writing is good. You have good characterization and don't forget to descibe the people and background. If you can improve anywhere you might look into putting more emotion and foresahdowing in your work. You describe a cloak as a particular color, say blue, but if you describe it as 'sky blue and billowing about his muscular shoulders' you paint a light hearted happy picture. If you say its 'a deep, navy blue that absorbs all light in the room allowing nothing to escape' you suddenly paint a threatening picture warning your audience not to trust this person. Both stalk and strut mean to move forward but each word conveys a different emotional reaction.

I hope this is construed as helpful and not criticism, I truly enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more.
dd chapter 1 . 12/2/2011
save harry
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 6 . 11/20/2011
Oh my gosh, I LOVE Harry's new wand! I ADORE IT! ;W; This should've been his actual wand in the series! So creative and has me curious!~
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 5 . 11/19/2011
Poor Sev. It sucks that Harry does have to get a little of hia anger because of what James did. ;;
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 4 . 11/19/2011
Aww, good old Severus, that's what I love! He listened to his father and Harry was able to fall asleep because of it! XP Simply so cute!
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 3 . 11/19/2011
Wow, you're writing Harry good as well! Given all he's been though of course he's going to be wary and you wrote that amazingly well!
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 2 . 11/19/2011
Okay, first off,let me start with this. I really like how you write Severus. It's so different yet it's still amazingly easy to tell that it's him. Also, I'm getting very curious as to why if Lily was in the picture, why was Snape not upset by the fact that she married James?
EdeatheDemonFox chapter 1 . 11/19/2011
A very nice, intriguing story so far! It's unlike any of the other's I've seen before! . Just have to say...poor Harry. ;-;
Starbuck1332 chapter 9 . 11/5/2011
Excellently written . . . as always. I loved how the three generations bonded. They all protected each other. Thanks for another good read.
HufflepuffandProud chapter 10 . 11/4/2011
thedarklordsfavoritedungeonbat chapter 10 . 11/4/2011
this story is beautifully plotted, well written and very carefully planned, though i know a lot of writers on this site put a lot of work and thought into their stories they don't always turn out to be so perfectly written. I can see you have put a lot of work, thought and effort into it. well done
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