|Reviews for A Small Piece of Potter|
| Lia And Leo chapter 24 . 9/3
What i Think...Hm?
Update You Stupid Little Arsehole We Need More It's been two years! Hell I just Read it Now But You Need To Update Right Here Right Now
Damn You! Update, We Need Moooooaaaaaaar!
| jessicariddle87 chapter 24 . 8/21
OMG please keep up the great work! I'd love to read more of this story * big sad snakey eyes*
| Guest chapter 24 . 6/6
Please update soon.
| Guest chapter 24 . 4/11
Please update soon.
| Kurohi Rokujou chapter 24 . 3/17
Wait...who will Harry end up with? If you already know who, that's awesome but it leaves me with curiosity.
| Hello Insert Name Here chapter 24 . 12/6/2014
Please, please, please update!
| nightpurr chapter 24 . 10/13/2014
this is one of the most unique stories I have read on this sight.
I at first really like it & also I thought I knew where it was going. I am not sure if where I think you are going now is a good idea.
I mean if I have absorb the meaning so far as to where you are going next.
Do you intend on Snape & his son to go to school as father & son? NP, with that but if headmaster has got the best of them twice already will he not try to kill Snape & trap Harry again or just kill them both if they are in the open?
I also have one other problem of Harry appearance like part snake under clothes as will as his hands appearing different. Won't people be afraid of him to the point of wanting to kill him? I mean 2/3 of the school already thinks of snakes as evil.
Wouldn't it be best that after a short while his appearance is a normal boy like, unless he calls upon special powers.
They already got so much against them there is a very high chance of them being killed before even becoming a whole family.
Plus so far the only ones that know the whole story at this point is headmaster, the Snape's & the dead Potters.
Why would Harry even need to go to school in a matter of minutes he learns everything in a book. Wouldn't it be best that the Snape's or at less Harry remains hidden until his father is to be able to come back with papa & son's help?
I wish you luck, this has possibles but it's going to be hard, detailed & probably long.
Forgive my wording, but a writer I don't claim to be.I am looking forward to how your going to make this story flow.
Also I feel like you ready Harry's change & explaining everything. The emotions were there but it felt like part was missing. Sorry if I am being a bit picky in parts but you started with a great story & plot. Something really different. I hope you finish this. Maybe after finish and more experience you can go back and treat us with a rewrite.I have read many redone stories and was pleased I did.
PS don't give up on yourself. Great imagination!
Waiting to see were you are going to take this.
| Flying Chrissy chapter 24 . 6/20/2014
Great story! Look forward to the next update.
| ani chapter 22 . 5/16/2014
Azerbaijen is not in Africa, it was once part of the USSR.
| Gravity's Child chapter 23 . 2/4/2014
Aww. *coos happily* I can't wait for all of that damn Goat's ideas to fall apart. To read him watching his stupid ideas as they crumble into pieces in front of his face. It will be... wonderful. *purrs*
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 24 . 12/24/2013
i like it
| SlutPuppy chapter 24 . 12/9/2013
Right... I'm generally not one to criticize and leave long comments about how you should 'fix' your story.
(But, yeah; I'm doing that now; mostly because I have some time to actually sit here and write all it out. :))
I'm not going to go into plot/story lines (regardless of how cliched it is to have a SuperPowerful! Creature! HorriblyAbused! Harry (but-renamed-something-else-because-he's-really-not-James-and-Lily's-kid) thing going on) because I personally don't dig when people try to write my story for me. So I won't be doing that... Instead:
1) I would strongly recommend you consider getting a Beta. And I mean someone who can actually help with grammar, punctuation, story flow and maybe offer some ideas. There is a section on here just for Betas, so you can easily find one that's interested in working in your fandom/pairing/rating. (Also, asking for 'help' from readers is tacky and frankly reeks of desperation. [Plus, it might be considered a 'write your own story' sorta thing which is against the rules.]) If you're stuck, re-read the chapters and see what ideas come to you. Yeah, it's nice to see readers get into a story and offer ideas; but *you're* the author, it's *your* story.
2) Take the time to edit your chapters. Seriously. (You can copy and paste from the 'preview' screen and fix whatever needs it). They look sloppy riddled with errors; acknowledging that doesn't make it any better. It just looks lazy and like you don't give a damn.
(Also, it's really odd and confusing to have NOT A SLASH STORY in some of the earlier chapter notes and have it suddenly become a slash fic (not sure if you meant *at all* or it just wasn't going to be a Snarry story; either way, specify which so there isn't confusion because I noticed I'm not the only one that was confused by the conflicting notes). Mpreg should be mentioned in the first chapter (and maybe the summary as well) so people will know *before* they read your story and get involved; many people aren't into that sorta thing and won't appreciate the 'bait and switch'. Just sayin'.)
3) BE CONSISTENT- Make notes if you have to. It's confusing when the author can't keep track of things like character ages (Harry is 11, which would not make him an adolescent or a 'teenager' [I got confused when I saw that and wondered if maybe he was hit with an aging hex or something ;)]) or a character's NAME (if you're going to change the MAIN CHARACTER'S name, stick to it. It's confusing to be told his name is Adrian and then he's referred to as Harry for awhile and it flip flops around).
4) Try to keep your characters IN CHARACTER. Unless (like Harry/Adrian) there is a logical/legitimate reason given for the change, don't change them. (We like Snape snarky, dark, brooding and snarling. We like Tom/Voldemort evil, a shameless megalomaniac and a little crazy. etc. etc. etc.) Seriously. If you're really going to keep making Snape all mushy and Tom weeping with joy, maybe consider using an OC instead? It's just awkward reading characters that are so different from how they should be.
5) A/Ns in the middle of a chapter (or a sentence) is distracting and annoying. If you really really need to make a note mid-way through, use an asterisk (*) or some other small notation and add the A/N at the end.
6) Speaking of A/Ns, find a way to separate them from the story (there was a chapter or two where you did and it was sooo much better). It's annoying and sloppy to just run from the A/N right into the story. Some people want to skip the A/N (which is fine, especially when the author goes into commentary or gives out group shouts/thanks- I do it myself and I fully expect people to skip it but I can't seem to help myself LOL). Use bold, italics, the page break or a symbol of some sort -SOMETHING- to let the reader know where your notes end and the story starts.
7) Respect the people following (and the rules): don't post a chapter that's only an author's note. Whatever it is, it can wait until you can actually post a chapter. (Especially if it's just an apology for taking long to update/not updating. Seriously? That's the worst! Getting all excited to get that alert and it's just an A/N...)
I think that's about it... :/
It's hard to convey my helpful tone and I hope I didn't come off as bitchy or super-know-it-all ('cause I'm not; I'm learning as I go, too). I couldn't *not* comment but I totally get it if you ignore this or just think 'bitch' and go about your way as you were. All good. :) Happy writing!
| Kaya70 chapter 24 . 12/6/2013
Love it hope that you update soon cannot wait for your next chapter
| Gravity's Child chapter 24 . 11/18/2013
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Amanda Star chapter 24 . 9/27/2013
Man I hate Dumbledore because of pain that he had "cause" Harry and his family. That Headmaster needs to go like right now.