Reviews for King in the Mountain
tanithlipsky chapter 1 . 1/16/2014
Sunder the Gold chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
A sad story, but sad in a beautiful way. I have happily added it to my collection of GrimGrimoire fics.

I might have said more, but I'll just agree with everything Dezo said.

With the possible exception of Lillet seeking physical revenge. She knows that if she tries, her target will just summon familiars to do battle with her. She will have to ask or command living creatures to fight, hurt and possibly kill each other, and she knows how her target will treat "mere familiars".

As Lillet said, she doesn't want to fight anymore.
LoneWolf218 chapter 1 . 7/12/2011

This is an unbelievably sad story. Throughout the game Lillet maintained, if not a smile, then at least hope for the future. To see someone so bright as a dim, grief-stricken shadow was heart-rending.

I agree with the previous reviewers that the Royal Mages had a lot to answer for. The worst bit is that, even though Amoretta's murder was called a "political move", it wasn't even that. Her death didn't seem to gain anything for the one who did it, he was just trying to hurt Lillet. If he had gotten something out of it, it would still be absolutely unforgivable, but at least there would have been a point beyond suffering.

Curse dirty politics.
Spikesagitta chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
Pretty grim for a birthday gift _;;

But it's still good work, even if I wish it was happier :(
Dracis Tran chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
Breaking Lillet Blan? I thought I had taken the cake by killing her. :) I also must admit some exasperation with myself in not noticing a new fic with my favorite character in it. _

I still, even after skimming again, have no idea what happened to Bartido (only looking for it after reading Dezo's review).

This paints a pretty good picture of a broken Lillet, and a fairly competent - but still somewhat broken - Margarita. I was surprised that Margarita did not intend to stay longer, as I had interpreted her job as successfully delivering the messenger to Lillet's domain, not his return. Though it would make more sense if she were hired for both trips now that I think about it. Margarita might actually be the Royal House's best chance, if she wouldn't laugh in their faces at any request to "work together".

Re: Amoretta and justice: Now I want a short where Lillet immediately challenges the perpetrator to a duel, humiliates him but does not kill him, and then walks out, never to be seen in the capital again. 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

I agree with Dezo that your use of Margarita here is inspired as almost an audience surrogate. And her strength; all of the students from the Tower were greatly affected by what happened (even if it was only five days for most of them), but Margarita's has always been my favorite. From prisoner to hunter. And you certainly got the hunter thing down pat.

Thank you kindly for this.
DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
Have I mentioned that I love my present? _

Seriously, this was an exceptional story. While I'm generally not much for tragedy, particularly in a canon which isn't big on suffering and darkness, you did an excellent job setting it up as a possible future without having to bend too many things out of shape (indeed, I can certainly see Lillet giving up on the whole concept and retreating to build her own world where hatred, bigotry, violence, and corruption aren't necessary. It's almost metaphoric that her little mini-utopia was achieved...because there aren't any humans living there to screw it up. Nonetheless, I still hope that somewhere between failing in seeking justice and giving up on the whole thing that she found the time to inform a certain Royal Magician why it's not a good idea to murder the love interest of someone who tames arch-devils...vicarious satisfaction as a reader, and all that).

Fernet's short-sightedness was interesting; he's a very flawed person and those flaws are the flaws appropriate for his youth and inexperience-an idealistic attachment to a single viewpoint without a real understanding of the complexities of the situation.

The scene where Fernet tries to get Lillet to intervene for the sake of protecting her loved ones shows just how sad Lillet's situation is-basically, she's fallen prey to despair for the human condition generally. If she doesn't intervene, Bleu's forces will kill certain innocent people. If she does intervene, her own forces will kill certain innocent people on the other side, as part of the nature of war. And she really doesn't see any particular difference between the two, nor does she have any personal stake in the outcome, nor does she have the emotional heat to seek revenge for revenge's sake-something she's probably given up on as worthless, anyway, by this point. Nor, I suspect, does she imagine any real functional difference between Hiram's government and Bleu's (shortsighted, because she overlooks the potential of magical/diabolic evil to enhance the influence of human evil; as history shows us, different societies and governments can be worse than others and as a magician Bleu is very likely to rule over a very unpleasant government for a very long time).

I love Margarita in this story. She really comes through as a strong character. In a way, she's very much a reader proxy-she knows the backstory like we the readers know the game, so she can, like us, see what's happened to Lillet and interpret it in the same way that we do, and she can see through the flaws in Fernet's arguments in, again, the same ways that we do. (Incidentally, it's spelled either "athame" or "arthame," not "anthame"...but I like the idea of you identifying her knife as that, since it's used to cut certain magical bindings, and if you don't mind I'm going to steal the idea of Evil-Magician-Hunter!Margarita using one as her magic wand.)

Lastly...honestly, had you not given me that vague hint that you'd hinted at Bartido's fate I'd never have noticed it...but I really should have, particularly when you consider his origin, his relationship to the other characters, and his actions in Loop III, Day 5 in light of the prologue and epilogue.

Anyway, this story was extremely poignant and sad, with just enough lingering hope (in that Lillet and Margarita lived) to keep it from being completely miserable, and was very well-written from the point of view of the characters you show and develop. I really liked it a lot, and it was a wonderful birthday present! Thank you very much!
Fuyu no Sora chapter 1 . 2/16/2011

I have a friend's prerogative and am therefore allowed to start my reviews with curses when you utterly destroy one of my all-time favorite characters. p Seriously; a tired, broken, disillusioned-with-the-world Lillet is one of the most heartbreaking things *EVER*.

I can barely believe the judgment that was given to Lillet. "A homunculus is classified as a familiar. Familiars destroyed during a conflict between two magicians is nothing more than the natural progression of a magic battle,"? What kind of sick BS is *THAT*? I would have *loved* if Lillet had fed the idiots to her chimeras. Losing Amoretta and not being able to even bring justice on the culprit because it was deemed that Amoretta was "just a familiar" and therefore the magician that caused her death wasn't liable for murder, but excused under the 'it's the natural progression of a magic battle' banner? Then they have the *gall* to send their newbie to beg for her help? For crying out loud! What The Hell, Royal Magicians? *is completely and totally indignant*

Anyway, it's late and I'm rather tired, so I'll stop my indignant rambling there. I might think up more things to say, but I'll mention them some other time. Great story, even if it completely broke my heart to see such a Lillet!
RansMuse chapter 1 . 2/16/2011
What an amazing story. It completely broke my heart. Not only for the loss of Amoretta and imagining how Lillet must've felt having her love there one second... then not, and from a shallow, petty political move. But also for the loss of Lillet's light and idealism. For a character such as Lillet who shines so brightly from her passion and courage, to lose that light is just completely tragic.

Though now I'm seriously trying not to tear up at work, I thank you for sharing such a wonderful story. GrimGrimoire is a new obsession of mine and I've really enjoyed all the stories you've written. So, many thanks.