|Reviews for The Forgotten Melody|
| NverSayNver chapter 21 . 8/26/2011
This is the most amazingest(word?) story tht i have ever read...
It is perfect... And ronnoe and will got tgether with three kids! I hope that you will write more stories.. You are an extremly talented
Im going it on my fone and
Feel too lazee to fix it:)
| enchanted96 chapter 20 . 8/16/2011
I love this! You keep me hooked with every chapter you write! I'm constantly checking back for more of the story. You keep it unpredictable, and I admire that. Thank you so much for publishing this story, and keep writing more.
| MJ Logan chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
Sometimes you come across a gem of story that makes you smile. Although you might guess the ending after a chapter or two, the journey is its own reward.
This author shows promise. I enjoyed reading this and hardly noticed that the oft required bedroom scenes were left to the reader's imagination. It was refreshing, especially since the story was complete without them. The author managed, quite nicely, to use that to the plot's advantage in a few places.
I do hope this author continues writing and to that end, I would encourage them on the following points:
- First, pay close attention to the tense and point of view. Sometimes, the text switches from third person, past tense to present tense. In other places, character's thoughts are written as if belonging to the narrator.
- Watch the punctuation. Don't be afraid of commas. Use them to separate different ideas in sentences, especially before the word "but." eg. Use commas where you need to, but don't overuse them. Make sure you use question marks where needed. The English language is a pain in the butt, but it gives writers some excellent tools. Polish your use of the "the tools of the trade" and you'll do well.
- Don't rush. This is the hardest of all to learn. Early in this work, the story sometimes feels rushed. Take the necessary time to tell the story. Don't leave the important stuff out.
- Although this is fan faction, (and I wish it wasn't), take the time to introduce your characters for the reader who is unfamiliar with them. I was often jarred by not knowing who the characters were and as the reader, I was expected to know them without ever having been introduced to them.
- Spend the necessary time to polish your work. I understand the type of site this is, but really, you could be good enough to be publishing eBooks if you put in the time necessary to take your work from a good story to a great book. Remember that most books go through multiple revisions (read polishing) before publication. Use two or three beta readers to help you look for technical flaws, continuity issues, etc.
My final thoughts - Take out the back story, change the character's names, and you have a stand-alone, long novella or a short novel. There are really too many characters for a novella, but it isn't long enough for a novel. You've apparently based the characters on the characters of another book or movie, so you can't publish this as is. Flesh out some of those characters, make them your own and introduce them correctly, and you're on your way to a good book.
Overall, despite the technical flaws, you've done very well.
| threemine2013 chapter 20 . 8/14/2011
Well, it looks like Will and Ronnie have a new daughter. At least, this one survived her birth.
I'm still sorry for Annie, but I guess that, in the end, three is just too much, and Annie was the spare one. Hopefully, she will find her right guy some day.
I wonder what else will happen to Will and Ronnie, and how things will truly get settled between them. By the way, I like the name Lily.
| threemine2013 chapter 19 . 8/14/2011
Well, I must say that I didn't really thought Annie would do such a thing... but maybe it's for the best. After all, I've done the same thing myself more than once before, and I knew it was for the best every time I did it. I feel sorry for Annie, because I know it hurts, but hopefully she will find someone who loves her. At least, she already proved she can have a relationship, while I never even managed to start a relantionship with any girl. Hopefully, Will and Ronnie can be together now - although, if I remember it right, there's still at least one more issue to be worried about.
| GilmoreGirlsAddict - Rogan Fan chapter 20 . 8/11/2011
please update and finish the story soon
nice baby name and chapter but it fells like its missing a few chapters like before ronnie goes to the hospital
| arubagirl0926 chapter 20 . 8/11/2011
loved the name.
| JoAnne Windsinger chapter 5 . 8/11/2011
This is the best chapter so far. Very interesting with more dialog and description. I think you have improved as you went along. I like it very much.
| JoAnne Windsinger chapter 4 . 8/11/2011
It is going well. I think you should give more description about the feelings of the different characters. Make us care about each one and remember no one is entirely good or bad. Make us be there, paint a picture with words. Good story, just make it live a little more.
| NverSayNver chapter 20 . 8/11/2011
Aww this story is ending.. Like literaly, i would check my fanfic on my fone everysingle day to c if you updated the story... Annie left, which was nice and will now has the chance to get back together with her...
| Guest chapter 19 . 8/11/2011
I hop you arent finished with this because I really wasn't expecting for it to end this way. I mean it this really the end thats not fair. but it you book and i JUST CAN BELIEVE IT. but i liked it any way.I will return but i have to think this over first
| Guest chapter 14 . 8/10/2011
please forgive me for not committing this is so exciting that I never would have thought of it. This is perfect and I can hardly wait to see what is going to happen. Will's sister is a genious and I do believe that Annie is a bit of an intrest in Scott.
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/10/2011
I started reading this book a few days ago I had to stop because I am fasting and had some other things I had to do, but I couldnpt get your book off my mind as I said before I really like the Last Song. You are really on to something this is a page turner. I can't wait to read the next chapter. at the end of this chapter I read you note and thought how long will I have to wait to read the next chapter and I decided to click on next and was happy to see that there was another chapter. This is really good.
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/8/2011
I like this chapter too. I was really beginning to worry that it was over and at the same time say no this can't be they are so right for each other you go girl this is really good looking forward to the next chapter
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
The Last Song was one of my favorite Miley Cyrus movies. After reading this chapter It is very well writtne and I am praying that you have written more. I like that way that the story starts off I can see the charteracter as if I watching the movie its self. Your subject matter is very good and the charteracter all seem real. I am looking forward to reading more and hoping that Ronnie and Will get through this terbble time and every thing with work out for the best. Also glad to see that Ronnie and Susan turned out to be good friend.