|Reviews for The Aftermath|
| BethanRose chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
such a pretty story with so many feelings . i absolutely love this and I'm already such a sucker for Micah/Raven storied
| ll Cele ll chapter 1 . 10/30/2011
Aww, this is such a cute story, and very well written too. Raven certainly is an interesting character, and I think you captured both her and Micah's personalities perfectly.
I need to favourite this. :3
| LOGICvsEMOTION chapter 1 . 10/25/2011
For a fan of more... mature content (let's just say that), I found this story to be really heartwarming. It's not a rewrite in any sense, it's making the date more realistic, and you can easily see what the characters are thinking, without it being splashed out in plain sight.
As with what Sir Gigous said, "I believe you captured this story's scene just perfectly. Instead of feeling staged, or lacking in purpose, I felt you captured a sincere, tranquil moment between two individuals wonderfully, and you kept us entertained in the the process." you have my utter agreement, a truly emotional moment caught with few words. Truly enjoyable.
Logic's turn now. Okay, Duo: while the story was, as Emotion hinted, it was damn good. You've got good structure, my eyes weren't brought to any spelling mistakes, and the one-shot length plot was gripping for the few minutes it lasted. I must point out one thing that always bugs me... you wrote: " "Yeah…" I agreed." while it isn't much, it's still there. the "I agreed" part. Micah has said "Yeah..." already, so we can safely assume he has agreed to what the previous speaker has said (Raven). again, not much, but a little flow-stopping for me. forgive me if I sound uptight.
LOGICvsEMOTION, signing out. keep up the impressive work, DuoOmega.
| Cryse chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
I like how you added on to their normal... I dunno, marriage date? Anyway, I think it would be nice to see more of this, maybe a new chapter for each date spot?(aside from the one you already used)
| katzsoa chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
This is wonderful... Micah and Raven together are wonderful... I like this! :)
| Warhawk07 chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
This is beautiful. I was thinking of writing my own story involving them. "Something that guys love"... oh! Really? wait... are you talking about... really?
Raven was the first girl I married. I mean... she IS the first maiden you meet as a human, and in the series, the first maiden you meet is the default wife. But, I mean, she is beautiful. Why would she care if her breasts aren't as big as Pia's... Pia's not the brightest! She is my favourite in the game and I love how she's a half-monster too. Though, she is half-elven; ever noticed her ears?
| Beanstalks chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
What a sweet story. You really captured the characters.
| Sir Gigous chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
Hello, it is Sir Gigous, here to review your story.
I apologize for not reviewing this sooner; I was originally going to review this as soon as I finished the chapter. As you can see, however, that didn't happen. Still, hopefully it isn't too late to put in a review.
Anyway, on with the actual review. I really liked this chapter/story (I am not really sure what it is, because it seemed like a one-shot, yet there is no finish label on it) for several reasons. For one, I believe you captured this story's scene just perfectly. Instead of feeling staged, or lacking in purpose, I felt you captured a sincere, tranquil moment between two individuals wonderfully, and you kept us entertained in the the process. I also like the feeling of connection between the characters. Being newlywed (I assume, anyway), there are still a few trust issues which need to be ironed out, but yet there is still an unmistakable bond between Micah and Raven which many stories lack between married character. Well, that's what I think, at least.
However, just because I liked the story doesn't mean it couldn't use improvement. Your grammar still needs some work, and some more detail would've been nice, seeing as how short the one-shot is. Also, I do believe you could've written the first person observations better. Being somewhat proficient (although far, far from professional) in the use of 1st person, I believe your 1st person could use improvement. If you want me to go into more detail, just send over a PM.
All in all, a great 1st story. Keep working at it.
| ReadR chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
aw, sweet! Yeah, i love raven too. You know, shara maybe the main heroine but i found raven story (in her request) to be much more interesting. I wonder why the creator of the game goes that far to make a story for someone who's not the main heroine? Shara is fine, though.