|Reviews for Dreaming New Dreams|
| LeafDragonSamurai chapter 6 . 6/7/2013
I love you for writing this
fav straight away ;)
| bluemooncafe chapter 6 . 5/20/2011
hiya, long time no see. i'm so scattered these days, but your story managed to put me squarely back in the major world-that's very, very impressive! _
first of all, i adore daisuke, what a great friend! perfect foil for toshi.
very clever of you to leave the rest of toshi and daisuke's conversation to the readers' imagination, after you've laid out the main points in favor of each team. it does feel rock-solid, toshi's decision to go to america-now it's just a matter of which team.
in the dialogue you've achieved a nice balance between sounding conversational and literary. i think toshi is one who deliberates, so it's good that you didn't make him sound uncharacteristically flippant.
the mix of teams is perfect-you managed to be faithful to the manga (using the titans and hornets, their respective money offers, etc) while also adding the salmons to the mix, as another potential team. i like it when it doesn't seem i'm just reading an exact translation of the manga, but i'm treated to something new that still retains the overall harmony of the picture.
btw, did burp and lose your divider here, because it seems there was a scene change, to my sleepy eyes. you know all about my battles with formatting challenges :)
I'll definitely do my best, Haruka. I'll be counting on your cheers, as usual."
[divider eaten by ]
"You and your teammates played well today, Toshi," Haruka commented, looking at Toshiya as she sipped her cup of steaming hot tea. "It's too bad in a way that they didn't provide more of a challenge."
i really like how haruka was introduced. i like the hint you placed about their relationship, the way she said let me know as soon as you know what team you choose. that along with the way she understood the way he thinks suggests an intimacy that you didn't need to spell out for the reader.
as i mentioned before in my major world toshi never leaves for america, mainly because i couldn't picture him leaving his grandparents. you managed to paint a convincing universe where toshi does leave for the majors while still very much devoted to his grandparents. very well done.
thank you once again for writing this and adding to the major fandom :)
| bluemooncafe chapter 4 . 5/19/2011
Very keen characterization of Mayumura-having a list, being so determined and clear in his objectives, very true to canon too. I'm also glad Toshi has a confidante in Daisuke. I especially like the companionable silences as a description of how they may comfortably spend time together. Every chapter advances Toshi a bit more towards the decision to come to the Majors, it seems. Very good balance between Toshi's modesty and reticence and his responsibilities as one of the Warriors' recognized team leaders. Thoughtful inclusion of the NPB's Golden Spirit Award, too-typical of the thorough research and commitment to canon fans can expect from your writing. Thank you again for writing this fic :-)
| bluemooncafe chapter 3 . 2/17/2011
"Shigeno Goro!" he exclaimed with a chuckle and a shake of his head. "As usual, you are impatient to have your say..." Hah, humorous proof of Goro's forceful charisma, even when far away.
That staleness... it must be part of what goads Goro-kun into seeking new challenges and strong opponents over and over again. I always thought it was merely him testing himself to become stronger to surpass those he saw as worthy rivals, but now I see it could have been more than that. Perhaps his fear that the thing he loves most in the world might become dull keeps him sharpening his edge and seeking new challenges.
I really, really like this part. For all the years they've known each other, there can still be little discoveries, new nuances in Goro and Toshi's relationship, their understanding of each other (though it's hard to imagine Goro being given to contemplation :) When you write insightful, thoughtful chapters like this, I don't feel as foolish about being stuck on Major when the anime's already ended .
Again, I love Toshi's grandparents simply knowing what he needs and providing it. Toshi too has the good sense to tell them he's well and happy, to show them he appreciates the space they give him to contemplate this big decision. The evening meal scene is a perfect demonstration of the comfort and contentment that perhaps have kept him where he is all these years.
His thinking process is quite logical, and while considering what he wants, he hasn't completely forgotten his responsibilities to his current team. An excellent portrait of Toshi, who seems at his best when called on by his teammates.
| bluemooncafe chapter 2 . 2/17/2011
Going running fits Toshi's character perfectly. Great metaphor-Toshi thinks he's moving ahead but in fact he's standing still-to the point of obstructing other people's ability to move forward.
Toshi's interior monologue fits so perfectly which his character from canon-he's the foil to Goro's relentlessly drive. Goro sets his own goals, while Toshi achieves the best results when some teammate is in a pinch. Grandpa's words and Toshi's flashbacks brought about the changes. Your grasp of the canon characters are dead on, down to the choice of which Goro flashback you used (aren't we going to beat Kaido together?)
I'll be honest and say originally I thought that Toshi would stay in Japan. When I saw the mangaka had brought him to America I had mixed feelings, but you're doing a great job of presenting the case for Toshi heading for America.
| bluemooncafe chapter 1 . 2/17/2011
Thank you so much for writing this story, thank you for adding your talents to the Major fandom because of some foolish fan's request. I've always wanted a peek into Toshi's mind, a glimpse of whether it was difficult for him to pick up and leave Japan, the timing of it. I thought somehow that he wouldn't leave until his grandparents had passed on, but not knowing their age and health, I couldn't begin to surmise.
I like the portrait of grandpa here-older but still vigorous, certainly knows his own mind. You even cleverly tied in the episode 101 scene with Mayumura in full shonen glory mode (my husband complained that they de-fanged Mayumura in season 5! LOL)
I thought this part was especially comical
“Toshiya!” he cried. “You did not tell those men you could not go to America because you must stay to care for your elderly grandparents, did you?”
“Well, I... well, no... Not in so many words...”
ayyyah! looks like someone was busted. You presented such a wise and tender yet not overly maudlin portrait of Toshiya's (sainted) grandparents. There's such great affection and warmth in this scene