Reviews for Drops of Jupiter
Knight-Dawn chapter 72 . 10/18/2012
Well, congrats Jolly!
I really liked your last few chapters, sad parts and all. And that ending. Priceless. (No matter which part of it I mean, but I think you'll know what I'm talking about...)
I meant to write you a long review about all the stuff I liked - heck, this still might turn out long despite the fact that it's 4 in the morning and I've got things to do tomorrow. XD
I agree with what you say. It had it's ups and downs, better moments and worse moments - you could've written several parts differently, but what the heck... It worked. I really loved the whole story. Yes, even the parts where Sveta was sick for a long time and... certain sad things that you said not to spoil happened. God, that caught me by surprise. Wow.
And the ending is sappy without being overly sweet. Nice job handling that scene. :)
Um... I dunno what else to say. It's gonna be strange reading the epilogue and knowing that this part of the story is done... though, the sequel the ending will tease may help with that.
Good job, man. That's really all I have to say.

Lumino chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
All right, here we go. The good, the bad, and the ugly.


Characterization of the MAIN cast. By main cast, I mean people the story really focused on. Matthew, Sveta, Tyrell, Isaac, Felix, Karis and maybe Jenna. This was done very well. Some parts of it seemed a little off, but the whole 'Emotion fluxing' that caused the Isaac/Mia/Jenna problems was pretty hard to do. I've already complimented on your writing and story before, so I see no need to reiterate here.


There is one thing you did in this chapter that really bothered me. A Trump Card is not a Trump Card if you play it twice. Using their Soul Sharing to bypass the 'Indoctrination' was clever, but the problem was you'd already used it, in the previous chapter in fact. It loses a lot of it's value and just looks like a 'Cure-All'. Just because RPGs boil down to a routine strategy, doesn't mean we want our stories to as well. Ideally, the big climax should contain new and, if possible, unique moves that we haven't seen yet, or at least in a new way. Sveta will the Sol Blade was interesting, but not really enough.


The aborted arcs, god we could make this twice as long with them. You already know this, so I doubt I really have to go into it, but the amount of side stories going on at once reached the point where it stopped adding to the fic, and indeed started to detract from it. The problem coming from Golden Sun is the huge cast of characters. If you let it, you can easily have 10-15 named characters with their own unique personalities, drives and abilities. How then, do you adequately portray them without seeming like you are pushing some of the lesser ones into the background. There are a few ways, but it really depends on what you like. I tend to limit the people in my stories, to prevent just that. If I need a different personality, or a foil for a character, that is what NPCs are for. Quick, disposable, and for the most part the readers won't care much if they vanish into the background once their job is done. (Not to toot my own horn, but look at Alastor from 'Don't Cry'. He's around for the entire story, but he really only takes center stage to be the foil for Matthew and Sveta when Tyrell and Karis aren't around.)

ANYWAY, even with all of the not-so-nice things I had to say, it was still a good read. I'm looking forward to being able to read the first chapter of your sequel now, since I wouldn't let myself read it until I'd finished this one.


Mr. E Box chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
That was me, by the way. forgot to log in...
Guest chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
thank you. For the best fic ever.

godofmadness43 chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
whoa, had a feeling that he would appear, still, i wondered when he'd show his hand, but it was nice seeing Matthew and Sveta as a sort of married couple
Adam kirky chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
Omg I loved this chapter.
Good ending, sad DoJ is over soon though.
Matthew and Sveta's practice marriage was clever, weird and funny!
Can't wait for epilogue! :-D
I 3 DoJ
CreationsGoneAwry chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
Well, I'm not entirely sure what to put here. Congratulations? I bet you're glad that's over with?

In any case, YAY JOLLY! :D I'm glad that you stuck it out unlike many other authors (eh...*raises hand guiltily*). I have to say I enjoyed this story very, VERY much, and I'm looking forward to the epilogue and the new stories you have planned!

And if they aren't too spoilerific, I'll check out your Zelda fics soon! (I haven't finished SS yet, so. But if they're about other games, I'll definitely check them out ASAP!)

Congrats, Jolly :) I hope you get a buncha positive reviews from this chapter.
Guest chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
Sharing your souls: its good for more than proving that you love each other and transferring special abilities.
Beastform Sveta wielding the Sol Blade is probably one of the most frighteningly awesome things ever.
""Wait," said the Empyror, "you can run out of psynergy?!"" Oh god that has got to be one of the most hilarious ways to lose ever.
Halo is amusing, kinda sad we didn't get to see more of him.
Awwwwwwww! Yeah, that kinda sums the final Sveta/Matthew scene up.
Well hello there Alex, how it goin? Still trying to become all powerful? Yes, well alrighty then, wouldn't have it any other way.
And gravity manipulation: a very nifty trick, I assume that would be a Light psynergy since emc2 and gravity is proportional to mass and all that?
Happy to hear theres an epiloug upcoming because I'll be sad to see the end of this.
Hackshin chapter 72 . 10/17/2012
Screaming and excited flailing. That is all.
Random Person chapter 71 . 10/11/2012
You know, I realized something a little while back, but I forgot to mention it. Check it out:
So far, Jenna has lost an SPOILER, as well as her parents.
Garet lost his wife, and then his SPOILER
Karst is alive, but can't use her SPOILER
Tyrell,... well, I think you know what he lost.
Chalis was just flat-out SPOILER and I'm pretty sure the Empyror is about to get screwed over in some way. Seeing the trend, here? If you don't, take note of what all these people have in common.

Now, then, lets's take a look at the other heroes.
Felix... is not permanently damaged, and his parents... well he hasn't even spoken to them in 30 years, so...
Isaac... Jenna's, and Garet situation aside, hasn't really lost anything.
Ivan... has lost absolutely nothing (personally)
Karis... got a bunch of books. She actually gained something.
Matthew... Tyrell's situation aside, he lost nothing, but gained a girlfriend.
Rief... also gets a girlfriend.
Maddie... loses someone she was better off without.
And Sveta, despite her numerous near-death experiences and attempts at suicide, has only gained a closer relationship with Matthew (The whole "wind" thing doesn't count, since it's sure to go away). That's some serious irony right there.
Oh, and then there's Mia.

So, then, JollyGreenDragon.
Explain to me what you have against the planet Mars.
P.S. If I'm missing anything, then I'm sorry, but even then, you can't ignore the evidence!
Random Person chapter 71 . 10/10/2012
Wait... so this was a BAD story?
I have so much to learn!
Random Person chapter 70 . 10/10/2012
It's almost like Sveta is considering the feelings of everyone except Matthew and herself. The being the one to take down the generator part really was a wise option (It really was) but expecting Matthew to sit by and just watch her get blown up? No, I think she's expecting him to try and rescue her, and that goodbye thing was her putting on a show. They wouldn't be able to share souls if it was even possible that Matthew could even consider leaving her in danger.
P.S. I missed you!
Your stories always make my day :)
Hackshin chapter 71 . 10/9/2012
I can believe we're almost at the end! :'( This has been an incredible journey!
Adam kirky chapter 71 . 10/4/2012
Awesome chapter! I don't want DoJ to end though! :'-(
I hope the last chapter is as amazing as I think it'll be (58/10).
I still think you could write an amazing original story.
GoldenJoe chapter 71 . 10/2/2012
First, I want to say that your ability to take criticism is very admirable, even when someone like me is purposely being very brutal. Your skills will continuously improve in ways that are only possible with your open mind.

I want to clarify that I don't mean to put you down or on the defensive; it's just that strong feelings can only be conveyed by strong words. I know what it's like to feel frustration over a half-realized idea with few sources of input offering any sort of criticisms or ways to improve your work. Sure, it's great to get encouragement and good reviews, but we're always our own worst critics, and when you see something wrong with your creation that you can't see a way to fix, it's a terrible feeling. I've made the same mistakes you have, even in one of my most recent projects. It's the reason I can leave such a harsh review - I speak to you the same way I would myself. It's worth being a bit of a jerk if I can help you avoid another bad situation.

Anyway, now that you've explained how DoJ came to be, I understand why it has happened this way, and many of your decisions make more sense. I still don't like them, but I also don't regret reading your story. Although it was very objectionable to me (hate is not too strong a word for many chapters), it was interesting enough to keep me reading, which is better than a good book that becomes boring. Needless to say, you have many readers with a positive opinion of the story as well that should not be discounted.

I've created an account specifically so that you can PM me if you wish. I can do that much in return for you taking the time to write such an enormous story and having the patience to deal with my worst criticism. You do not have to explain every little point I made; like I said, I don't mean to put you on the defensive. If instead you want to discuss the story or my criticisms, I will be happy to talk and possibly help you come up with some ways to improve your future stories.

It's been a long journey. I hope that things have become much better for you personally since the story began. Close the story out as best you can. Everyone, including I, am looking forward to your conclusion.
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