|Reviews for The Serpent's Kiss|
| gryffinroar94 chapter 7 . 11/22/2014
I found this story from your post on the HPFC forum looking for a beta. I think it's a very good beginning, but there hasn't been very much development past an exposition which I would expect for a story seven chapters in. Maybe you could try writing longer chapters when you continue? It's great that the characters seem pretty true to the canon - especially the Snape/Hermione dynamic, and how Hermione is sure Harry and Ron will try to contact her-, so it will be interesting how you develop the Snape/Hermione relationship and whether it comes as a result of the spell or afterwards as a byproduct of the experience. I'm sure Snape/Hermione fans will be glad this is revived, as this is one of the better non-Smut and multi-chapter Snape/Hermione fics I've come across.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/23/2014
| eviltwinslytherin chapter 7 . 11/10/2011
The storyline is brilliant, especially with your take on the curse. This is something brand new and it's stolen my attention from everything I SHOULD be doing (like studying!) :) Please update soon; I love your style and want to see where you take things!
| Paris in December chapter 7 . 10/18/2011
I love this peek into Hermione's psyche, and the fact that she's so focused on the criticism that it doesn't occur to her that she's actually doing incredibly well. Of course he's criticizing her, he's SNAPE. xD
(I know it's been a while since you posted this chapter, but I've been putting off reviewing things for long enough. P)
| Harmony Goldstar chapter 7 . 9/26/2011
Please update soon! This is awesome!
| Astrid Oak Moon chapter 7 . 9/14/2011
Wow, I've never read a story with this approach to their will/may-be romance. I love it so far, definitely can't wait for the next chapter!
| georgesgurl117 chapter 7 . 8/2/2011
Great story - looking forward to more!
| controlled climb chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
This is a really good start. Despite your warning on the thread, I didn’t find the characters to be out of character at all and I do hope that it stays that way throughout the story.
William’s character was certainly humorous, if nothing else. I felt you used him well to describe Snape’s character and quirks without simply using a huge list, which of course, would have been deadly boring.
My only pieces of criticism are more of a personal preference. You used the same sentence starters for many things – notably use of “he” and “she”. While that’s not wrong in any way I think it would interesting for to experiment with different starters. Nonetheless, that wasn’t a major thing and it didn’t hinder my enjoyment of this chapter.
I feel that you relied a lot of adjectives. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I felt that a few were unnecessary. For example, describing the colour of lips isn’t necessary. Lips are generally only described in smuts or when the lips are coloured in an obscene, different or interesting manner.
However, despite that, I think you’ve done a fantastic job here. You used some really great language and despite my hatred towards most adjectives it was great to see that the ones that you did use weren’t just placed there for no reason whatsoever and they were relevant. Quite simply, your characterization of Snape was spot on and I can’t see why on earth you worried about it.
Great job and I look forward to seeing this story develop further. (:
| Misti D chapter 6 . 4/4/2011
Can't wait to see where this is going. :) Happy writing.
| Tandy chapter 6 . 4/4/2011
Poor Hermione cooped up everyday with that grouch. I forsee cabin fever! Well, at least now Severus is going to keep up with her potions studies. Update soon.
| Cecelia Ward chapter 6 . 4/2/2011
Love it so far.
I love how even though that Oakby kid was trying to curse Snape that it hit Hermione harder. I can't wait to see where this goes and the explanation you provide as to the source and cure of this curse when the time comes. Keep up the good work.
| Paris in December chapter 6 . 4/2/2011
Heehee, I like the end of this chapter. This is a really good depiction of Hermione's mental state right now. Also, nice ward.
| personofnoconcern3000 chapter 6 . 4/2/2011
Great chapter! neat idea for the ward! Please update soon
| Very Small Prophet chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
"Will's pranks were often humiliating for all involved, and most times bordered on sadistic and cruel. ... How he was sorted into Gryffindor, she would never understand. He seemed far better suited to the serpentine ways of the Slytherins."
So the Marauders, who sadistically harassed and humiliated Snape for seven years, including a "prank" that could have ended in Snape's death and Lupin's execution, were all Sytherins, were they? It sounds like Will is following in the footsteps of, not Fred and George, but an earlier generation of Gryffindor pranksters.
I trust Hermione will get over her prejudices before this story is over. This can be the tale of her education against the evils of House bigotry, as she has learned them under Dumbledore, Queen of Favoritism.
| Misti D chapter 5 . 3/1/2011
So glad that I found this story. I can't wait to see whats going to happen next. Happy writing