Reviews for Motivation
Fortheupdategods chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
I like where the story is going so far; very complex for a Naruto story but I believe it emphasizes the flaws of Sakura and Sausuke. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like the pair all that much but bashing always inevitably ruins a story by either making the protagonist ridiculously strong to humiliate and destroy the antagonist or make the antagonist have more flaws than originally in cannon. Please update soon! I really enjoy Later as well and hope you update that one in the near future (week or so). Here's hoping that you find the time to update!
firelordeg chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
thank you for sharing this fantastic chapter i love this story so far please continue a.s.a.l.a (as soon as life allows)
iamnuff chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Sturgeon's Law

90% of fanfiction is shit,

the other 10% is worth dying for

this fic is up to your usual standard. Well done Durandall, you win again
the kwp chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Interesting start, and promising in many ways. Not only a good take on Shikamaru, who I think is actually difficult to capture right, but also a good take on Kakashi, who is equally difficult to portray - though more, I think, because of the strange contradictions in the source material.

I liked the setup, and I enjoyed the cautious slow approach. I also enjoyed Naruto dealing with the emotional consequences. Good start, and I look forward to seeing more of this when you get the time.
rianifitria chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
This is actually interesting.

Especially the way Naruto, Shikamaru and Shino was brought together.

I'd like to see some jounin be their mentor, preferably someone like Asume, good tactic and still be good fighter. Kurenai probably is going to be much more emotional... and I'm not sure how a chauvinist like Shikamaru can handle working under her, and how her genjutsu talent would be wasted on 3 genins that probably will never utilise genjutsu. Kakashi is probably out because Naruto hated him with passion and stated so, forcing him on the three of them will be adding fuel to fire.

And I don't see why Asuma was berating Ibiki, what he did was nothing much.

And Sasuke and Sakura bashing? Really?

Anyway, looking forward to the next chap.
Quizer chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
This looks like it'll be another excellent story. I've not yet seen one that gave Shikamaru his fair shake. Naruto on a team with him *and* Shino, another character people like to portray as analytical and quiet, should make for an interesting story.

The changes leading to the chaos of the team assignments are interesting and well-plotted and described for the most part, but the initial triggers for the AU confused me. Is Kakashi inadvertently tossing his book at Anko and going home with her directly responsible for Iruka not surviving his encounter with Mizuki, or are those two separate changes that are completely unrelated?

If the former, how did it lead to Iruka's death? If the latter, why is it such a big deal that it's the first thing we see in the story? Kakashi dropping in 'late' was pretty funny, but will there be long-term repercussions? So far, I'm not getting the impression that Kakashi will be shown in a very flattering light in this story or be of all that much importance, seeing as how training Sasuke rules him out as a jonin-sensei for 'Team possible'. Still, you've got a track record of paying plenty of attention to even supporting characters, so maybe this small change will lead to something greater. I really want to know whether Kakashi being sidetracked by Anko led to the encounter with Mizuki going differently somehow.

The initial interaction between the teammates is great, too. They waste no time in pointing out the utility value of Naruto's kage bunshin and finding applications for them. It should be interesting to see how the as-of-yet unofficial team actually gets the go-ahead, and who will be their jonin-sensei.

Hope you'll update soon!

GeshronTyler chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Great, a new story from Durandall! Oh no, a new story from Durandall! Is basically my reaction. _ Because, I don't think there's a story you've written that I've actually disliked, but your juggling quite a few already. My reaction to the first chapter is positive, though Sasuke's reaction seems overly judgemental. After all, all the students know is that Iruka was killed, Mizuki was the traitor, Naruto killed Mizuki. They of course knew that Naruto had failed the final exam, but none of the other background to the incident, so where does Sasuke pull the "Naruto got Iruka killed" from? Sakura is of course simply eager to follow her infatuation object's lead.

The "Team Possible" (If this is continued for any greater length of plot, it _must_ become the Team's tagline. P That, or "Team Can-do". The Abu-Shika-Maki trio is _such_ a scary idea, Madara and Orochimaru should commit suicide right now. P

The Naruto setting in it's canon format suffers from it's "School-Slapstick-Hijinks/Grimdark Ninja World" fusion, because too much "grimdark" pushes it out of the target audience spectrum IMO. You have flashes of sheer genius brilliance from Naruto, followed the next moment by wall-banging "comedic idiocy" sequences, the but of which is usually Naruto. Taking the concept of Naruto-verse at face value, it really can't be anything but Grimdark, with a large side of "Fridge-horror", interspersed perhaps with some "grim humor". It looks like you'll be focusing on the "grimdark/fridgehorror" aspects, with Ibiki's classroom scene. I approve. Nothing against humor, but I really get fed up quickly with the kind of repetitive humor segments from the Naruto canon.

I like how you handled the scene at the restaurant, with Shikamaru's probing of the owner's reluctance to admit Naruto. The subsequent appearance of ANBU and Inoichi to "interview" the man causes me to wonder if you interpret this as a normal case of events, or if last night's incident has prompted a crackdown. In canon, before Gaiden, I don't think we've ever seen a "civilian" from Konoha react to Naruto (aside from the Stadium ), and in Naruto's flashbacks to the past, I at least, have gotten the impression that the "extent" of the village's treatment of Naruto was ostracizing, which is of course, terrible enough, and not overt verbal or physical abuse.

What bothered me about Kakashi and Jiraiyas' characters, is that Kishimoto had them basically ignore Naruto and the whole connection to Minato and Kushina. Granted, I could believe that there are real security concerns, and important duties behind that, the Ninja world being what it is (or supposed to be P). If Kakashi, or especially Jiraiya were to pay special attention to Naruto, it would be noticed, and enemies of Konoha might take action. That said, there are ways around that sort of thing for incredible ninja geniuses, that could have done Naruto a lot of good. I do hope you'll be giving Kakashi a chance to mend fences, even if only from a distance, as it were. I'll also say, I don't have anything against any of the rest of the "usual suspects (genin-12)", and hope that they'll be put into an environment that will allow them to develop their potential. Sasuke is the problem child to be sure, as driven and impatient as he is. Strongly drawn to the Dark Side is he.

Thanks, read you next time.
Ladegard chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
I rather like this story, the fanon seems low so far, the characters are developing nicely, and I've always like your work. Thank.s
Kelenas chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
It looks like an interesting set-up. I usually don't like Shikamaru at all - he's the only character who gets even more plot favoritism than Sasuke - but so far he's tolerable. Bonus points for him not blabbing about how "troublesome" things are every other sentence; far too many stories take a character and take have them spout their "trademark word/phrase" at every opportunity.

Naruto's demeanor initially seemed strange, until the point of divergence was revealed. Then it made perfect sense, as well as the reaction of his classmates, with the possible exception of Sasuke; in his mind, his teammates are going to be dead weight to drag him down anyway, so why would he care if Naruto is responsible for Iruka's death? It would have made more sense if the comment came from someone else, like Sakura, who's already noted for her utter lack of tact or empathy for Naruto in early canon.
Kurtulmak chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Okay, first I'd like to mention that there are some flaws in this fic. I'll discuss them later, because I'd like to really lead off with saying that I'm a bit blown away bit it.

At first all I could see was the shadows of common cliches. Anko seemed like her typically trashy fanfic self at first. At first. As the chapter progressed it seemed less like she's the village bicycle than just someone who was in the mood to blow off some steam once; the knee-jerk association I had was just that. In fact, she seemed a good bit more like her canon self than most authors write her. A bit brash and demanding, but a bit thoughtful too. Very nicely written.

Another cliche seemed to be angry, angsty Naruto. But in a way, this was turned on it's head. He has a good reason to be upset given Iruka's death saving him, Kakashi's actions, and spending a night in prison. And he's not suddenly your typical smart, angry, powerful Gary Stu Naruto. He's just a bit shaken, and his growth will come from the influence of two of his generation's smartest and most level-headed genin. You've given him the powerful tool of early understanding of the Shadow Clone, but you'd done it in a way that *works* with the story by giving him a *reason* to notice it sooner.

Really the only cliches that stand out as serious flaws in the fic are Sasuke & Sakura bashing. Oh, Sakura's not too far off the mark from canon. She wouldn't have wanted to be on Naruto's team anyway thanks to him asking her out all the time. However, Sasuke's reaction, blaming Naruto for Iruka's death is a bit of a leap in logic given that he knows nothing of the facts of the previous night's events. His quickness to blame Naruto and intransigence on working with him could only at best be explained by jealousy that fits the typical Bashed!Sasuke fanfic profile but doesn't really jive yet with canon at this point in his life in my opinion.

(Side note: We never really got an idea of where anyone other than Sasuke, Sakura, and presumably Hinata stood on the issue of Naruto during the fight. Were Choji, Ino, and Kiba for or against Sasuke's point of view? I can guess Ino based on her trying rat out Naruto for breaking the desk and her crush on Sasuke, but the other two I have no idea about.)

Side note: Why were all the other ninja dismissed before Iruka's death was revealed. I know we know after the fact which teams passed, but should it really be implied that Teams 1-6 were known to be dead weight before being tested?

Now, beyond the ugly point of possible Sasuke-bashing, I have more praise for the fic.

Kakashi was extremely well-written in my opinion. That mixture of reflection, regret, and aloofness was perfect. That one mistaken reaction setting back his and Naruto's relationship was an interesting twist, though I hope it's not a permanent strain because of how /this/ Kakashi actually cares about Naruto (which I much prefer to Bashed!Kakashi's Sasuke fever).

You even handled the prejudice of the village well. Now, in canon Naruto only gets kicked out of a store once for reading pin-up mags without paying, so it's not reasonable that /every/ store would shun him, but it's also not unreasonable for /some/ stores to shun him. And there's no hint of abuse or the typical slip of calling him a demon. Just some shunning that the person involved at least has the shame to squirm about.

So far, I like the take on Shino and Shikamaru as well. The twist of their techniques requiring murder casts them in a bit more of a sinister light, but not necessarily in a bad way. I look forward to seeing how they influence Naruto's growth.

(Also, you managed to sneak in a way of getting him out of the orange jumpsuit without making a huge production out of it. Very sneaky! Normally, I get irritated by that little obsession of many authors, but the slyness with which you did it impresses me.)

I suppose I should chip in one last quibble, though. /Teme/ doesn't mean what you (and many other authors) think it means. It's not Japanese for "bastard." It's a rude and angry way of saying "you." (Japanese has a lot of pronouns of varying politeness for "I" and "you.")

It's equivalent in tone to "you bastard" - above /kisama/ ("you fucker") and below /omae/ ("hey you"). Naruto uses it with Sasuke a lot early on, but he switches to the /omae/ most of the time later. Sakura and Sasuke both use /teme/ on him a lot at first themselves, but no one ever puts THAT in fics.

(And why yes, I *have* read the raws to double-check. I am that petty. :-) ...Stop judging me.)

Also, it's never used as a (dis)honorific. "Sasuke-teme" and "that teme" are inventions of some bad fanfic author lost to history (and my terrible childish wrath) which spread like a tumor through the fandom. Grammatically, they are nonsense.

Anyhoo, subscribed.
Goldamon X chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Iruka nooooooooooooooooooooooo. Well maybe not that dramatic but still a shame that he dies off so early here. This sounds like it'll be interesting, though it's got that vibe of Super Powered genin that I keep seeing. Granted they are legitimately talented, and honestly early on Naruto's biggest problem is piss poor training...Anyway, this should be fun one way or the other.
Essex chapter 1 . 2/18/2011
Excellent. I don't think I've ever seen this particular team before. While I am more interested in reading "Later" at this point, this'll be a good back burner fic.
Midoriryu chapter 1 . 2/18/2011
Wow, very interesting start. I can honestly say I haven't seen anything even remotely like this before. I've enjoyed many of your stories over the years, and this looks to be another that I will have a good time reading. :)
Kind Fearless Leader chapter 1 . 2/18/2011
I accept blame.

I have altered your choice of story to write.

Pray that I do not alter it further.

Team Assassin-o shall prevail!
Hero Slayer chapter 1 . 2/18/2011

I mean, so many things can go wrong with that first day so it's not that surprising to see changes in that, but there is the point. If Kage Bunshins send their memories back, why the hell did Naruto not notice it right away.

I mean, I can understand if he's dim, that's fine. Give is a while, but he's been using that technique, creating what has to be hundreds of thousands if not millions of clones before the time skip. You're telling me he doesn't notice that he's suddenly gaining that much freaking experience.

Yeah, that kinda bothered me after I got past the original, oh cool that's an awesome technique stage, when it was explained.

Ah Shikamaru, I can mentally hear the repetition of 'Mendoukusei' along with the mental thoughts. As he's mentally complaning about all of this he's probably already managed weight the pros and cons of everything and the probabilities of all the choices and decided the best.

Shino, Shino when he's not played for last is pretty awesome. I mean, who would think the bug on your back that's slightly annoying would be the thing that's tracking you. So much potential there.

Can't see the rest of this.
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