|Reviews for We Can Fix You|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/15/2013
You could try expanding the details you already have - how did they (Danny's parents) find out his secret? You briefly mention this, but kinda skip over it.
It could use a bit more angst. I'm not going to complain.
What's already good (in my opinion):
The correct tenses were used throughout.
Your spelling seems perfect.
The story really (not sure if these words are fitting enough) pulled me in and made me want to finish it.
I'd write more but I'm lazy.
| jxnki chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
*Goes on a rampage*
HE. IS. NOT. BROKEN.
I love Phantom, and I don't think Danny would ever say that.
But, still, nicely written one-shot.
| GhostDog401 chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
Can I maybe adopt this story it at least work off of the idea? Please I love his idea
| 2Belle26 chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
Nice... Its like an evil cliff hanger at the end.
Will we ever know what happens?
| Codiak chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
This was nice! ;)
| gothgeek49 chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
NOOOOOOO! DONT DO IT DANNY! please write more soon this is a really good story beginning!
| AnneriaWings chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
HOLY... My breath was literally taken away after I got to the last part, and I'm still sitting here, completely enthralled at this incredibly well-done piece. I absolutely need to read more of this. O_O This cannot be complete. There was only one error I found, here:
"It happened quickly, way to quickly." - I think you meant 'too'. :P Other than that, though, your grammar and spelling were absolutely perfect! I really love your use of first-person; you seem to be just fine at writing in the present. You nailed Danny's character perfectly! I don't know what it is, but theres just something about your particular style of writing I really, really enjoy. I would be so, so thrilled if you continued this and didn't leave it as a one-shot; I SERIOUSLY see great potential in this as a multi-chaptered tale of angst. ;)
| Ecokitty chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
Why is this NOT longer? :
Oh my gosh...I squealed insanely loud at the last sentence. It really tugged at my heart...So...so...SO cute. And sad. And angsty. I just adore this.
Please continue it! Oh gosh. 333
| Ry chapter 1 . 2/19/2011
The only thing is that this doesn't really sound like Danny. But you got the point across well.