|Reviews for A Father's Love|
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 29 . 12/10/2014
I loved this chapter too.
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 6 . 12/9/2014
well done. yep.
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 5 . 12/9/2014
truly loved this chapter too.
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 4 . 12/9/2014
I'm guessing that Marcus remembers Dom telling him that he had a son and daughter. And this chapter was masterfull at the same time
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 3 . 12/9/2014
| Wishfulwriter89 chapter 29 . 12/9/2014
This whole story is just freaking amazing! Don't you dare stop now! Best written GOW story I've read yet!
| Guest chapter 28 . 9/7/2014
Did u die
Is that why
You don't update
And are totally late
Yada da da
Da da da da da da
| Genesis Vakarian chapter 1 . 7/28/2014
Loved it all too.
| Elizabeth Whittaker chapter 1 . 7/6/2014
I wanted to finish these chapters before reviewing.
First for all, I don't usually like fanfics about OC's because people ship others, and I'm more of a Marcus/Anya than Dom. But this intrigued me so I took a read. I'm glad I did.
Characterization: I grew to like Sylvia/Bri. Her blight was understandable and I rooted for her a few times.
You kept in canon with Gears but I felt Anya should be a bigger part since she is a big part of Dom's life as support in his search for Maria. If there is Uncle Marcus, there should be Aunt Anya because of that alone. Even Dom would mention that at some point which I found missing.
And where is Hoffman? Other than that chapter, he would probably find out about her on a comm communication and question her. That was my only other flaw. That and no Sam but there was Bernie.
Pacing: In some places it was a bit slow like leading up to Maria's death and revealing herself to Dom. I honestly felt the story could have ended at where he accepts her and she makes a decision to go back. By Chapter 28, the story has deviated.
The plot was for her to reveal to Dom she was her daughter and him to accept and they live their lives. You've done that. Anything after that now isn't really relevant. I'm saying this as a professional author. I know this is fanfic but tighten the ending up and you'll be good :) if I was a beta I would've said that as well.
Style: I think it's beautiful. Your paragraphs are a bit long and sometimes you jump points of view to where they are confusing, but you keep the reader interested with the plot and with Bri.
The dream sequences are kind of confusing in the beginning of chapters, so maybe changing them to first person while keeping the dream in Bri's POV would make for a smoother transition.
Plot: I mentioned the deviation before. You did do research- that much is clear from the quotes. I think you did pretty good staying on course most of the story.
I'm eager to see how you wrap and tighten up the loose ends of this story.
| Guest chapter 28 . 6/21/2014
| Guest chapter 28 . 5/3/2014
Thou art feeling abandoned
| GunRecon 11 chapter 28 . 3/16/2014
Let me just say this story is amazing and very realistic in regards to Stranded/COG relations. I was really hoping Maria would pull through, but...
Also, you take off a lot of the "Gear Invulenerability" that the games had. Nicely done.
| Oh-my-darling-Clementine chapter 28 . 2/21/2014
This is a really great chapter, please update soon.
| Guest chapter 28 . 2/17/2014
| BTips chapter 28 . 2/12/2014
It has to be Baird! Atleast I hope it's Baird :)