|Reviews for What the Mirror Saw|
| makaem chapter 8 . 7/29/2011
I love this! Now I'm off to read your other stories.
| AnnaJW chapter 8 . 7/25/2011
I love this story! I've been hunting for days for a good HermionexSeverus story after I read an amazing one and so many are just...rubbish I'm sad to say.
Yours was a welcome relief, I really liked the storyline and your writing greatly improved in later chapters. I always start my stories out short then they get longer so I thought it was fun to see that in your writing as well. I'm excited to go read the sequel!
| klcn chapter 8 . 7/23/2011
LOVE the ending!
| 012343210 chapter 9 . 7/22/2011
I've seen your current fiction in the updates list, and finally took the plunge! (This is the where it all begins, yes?)
I like the structure of this story very much - one day, each year - which lets us see a clear progression and transition. And then chapter eight, where we finally get "traditional" prose and a sense of where things are going... in your next story! On the details front, Lily's birthday is January 30. All the times you mention age in here? You're absolutely right in that the movies tend to throw people off. (Although I adore Alan Rickman... but even the Lily and James in the first film? I mean, you're right about just how YOUNG they were when everything happened.)
And George was always my favorite twin. (Sorry, Fred!) Not quite as flashy, always much kinder and more compassionate than his Doppelganger. It's there from the very beginning; it's George who helps a scrawny, orphaned first year (Harry) with his trunk on the Hogwarts Express and it's George who voices his concerns over family finances when that ponce Lockhart requires all students to buy his books.
I wonder with the Mirror showing Hermione so very young... this I find a bit off-putting. Sometimes the Mirror showed the future (as for Ron), but it was the future he desired when he was 11. I can understand Severus seeing a very, very abstract "wife and child" image when Hermione's younger, and it not getting specific at all until she's at least 16 or 17, but younger than that? I'm not so sure.
The separation of what we think we desire and what we actually desire in the Mirror? Well done. It's really true, isn't it, that we often don't know ourselves?
Anyway, thanks for sharing - great first 'completed' story!
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/21/2011
Just thought you might like to know, that Lily's birthday was the 30th of January. Other than that, the story is very good so far :)
| cutemara chapter 7 . 7/20/2011
In reply to your Author's Note on Alan Rickman being 60...you have to take a look at this from when he was younger! spots/harry-potter/images/13240238/title/very-young-alan-rickman-snape-photo
| David boreanaz's wife247 chapter 8 . 7/19/2011
great work I loved it a lot some times I wish this was in the book or move it made me laugh at some parts I cant wait to read the squeal
| Maryjane G chapter 3 . 6/25/2011
Well, the second chapter has me in the grips of the story even more. A few mentions though: in this line "Her hair was dark and wavy with black eyes", the structure of the sentence implies that the hair has eyes. The shortest correct form would be "Her hair was dark and wavy and she had black eyes." However, it can be understood as her having black eyes from bruises. The description has to be rethought.
It should be "curves", not "curvy" in the following paragraph. Also "breathtakingly beauty" is incorrect. It shouldn't be an adverb, but an adjective. Adverbs modify verbs and adjectives, adjectives modify nouns and pronouns. So, it's "breathtaking beauty." Sorry if I'm being a bit of a grammar nazi. I definitely like the narrative so far, but small mistakes like these usually get me out of the story's atmosphere. I mentally pause to correct them.
| Maryjane G chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
You have a very promising premise here. It certainly got me interested and I will most likely spend more time reading it than I can afford. You do have a few mistakes here in there, but the most eyebrow-raising one was Dumbledore's line: "Is that sincerely necessary?". I have a big issue with that "sincerely". Semantically, it makes no sense. "Sincere" carries slightly different connotations than "honest" and it shows in that sentence. An "honestly" or "really" would be a lot less troubling. Other than that, there is a bit of repetition here and there, but nothing all that upsetting. Snape seems to be in-character so far and I know how difficult it is to write him convincingly.
| CheyCheyRainy chapter 9 . 6/24/2011
This story has been really good and I absolutely love it. It fits in with the stories.
| foreverHPfan chapter 9 . 6/22/2011
Thank you for your story, I can hardly wait for the sequel. Until recently I had not considered this pairing when reading the fan fiction stories. I find a lot of the stories are short with no substance to the plot this is a very well written story in my opinion. Again, thank you for the story, my time reading was well spent.
| MiSev chapter 8 . 6/19/2011
I wish DH had ended this way (with a few more survivors, too, of course). I really like how you have written the glimpses of Snape's trials and tribulations over the years and how he feels like a constant disappointment to Lily. Then the slow transition as he comes to realize what his heart already knew - that Lily is a guilty memory from the distant past and he now needs to look to the future. What a difference Hope can make :-)
One thing I feel is missing, though, is at least a mention of Hermione's torture at Malfoy Manor. Did Snape not know about it in this fic?
| SpeedDemon315 chapter 9 . 6/9/2011
Great story, I liked how you incorperated a bit the original plot of Rowling into your own to show what's going outside of Snape's world. Your writing style compelled me to continue reading on and for the most part, I felt like everyone was in character (albeit I must admit I was a bit surprised at first by Snape's rather social encounter with Hermione in the last chater, but in retrospect, he almost died so being social would be a walk in the park to him and plus, anyone would be in the "seize the day" mood if they were in his shoes).
However, I have to point out in one of your chapters (can't recall which one unfortunately) you write out "because" as "b/c", which is something you definitely want to stay away from. Alarm bells will go off in most readers' heads when they see any form of chat speak. That's the only example I saw so far but I just wanted to give you a heads-up.
| Killing Aphrodite chapter 9 . 5/29/2011
I really loved this fic! For a minute there I thought you were going to kill Severus off, but no, he's alive! I love Snape, I really do! And I can't wait to read the sequel!
| Reviewer1 chapter 8 . 5/28/2011