|Reviews for Voldemort's Room|
| grimdreamer chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
I read this drabble a week ago and didn't get round to writing a review. Well... here it is! (How many emails from me do you have now? Am I annoying? Should I stop? What to do, Nic!)
Now I don't read many HP fanfics, but this has added to the doubts I have in my mind... why not? Why am I not reading some good HP fics? Anyway, this reminded me a little of "Blood Quill" with the whole violent opening, but it was done in that horribly suitable way that only Lord Voldermort can pull off. The atmosphere was great and the fear-inspiring presence of Voldermort just added to it.
I liked this part the most in particular because cinematic moments in a long sentence are what I'm into right now, or forever:
Down a spiral staircase, carved of stone and dripping with precipitation from an unknown water source, Voldemort stalked. Down and down he went, sconces on the walls sputtered from lack of oxygen[,] but his snake[-]like eyes easily adapted to complete darkness.
(Please note the squared brackets!)
Not to repeat what Enigma has already told you:
His red, slit[ted] eyes narrowed further as a nameless, masked and hooded death eater approached him.
And you're missing a comma here:
"Crucio[,]" Voldemort said, dispassionately.
Also, the title of death eater should be capitalised: Death Eater.
Here, using two words that look too alike is a bit awkward and, not to mention, weird-looking ("wand hand"):
Voldemort rewarded his servant with another flick of his wand hand, which flung him into the nearest wall where he crumpled, unconscious.
Is there a way to avoid this?
All in all, really liked this drabble and I laughed at the end ;)
| cjnicole chapter 1 . 2/27/2011
Ha wow I can so imagine voldy writin in a dairy! :) great!
| Enigmaticrose4 chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
Fail, epic fail :D
You didn't let me beta and look what happened - I found mistakes! Who would've thought? :D
appeared in [a] seemingly solid wall
Voldemort entered an empty room but for a single writing desk with a bound-leather book upon it. - Voldemort entered a room that was empty, save for a single writing desk with a bound-leather book upon it. (Your phrasing was awkward)
With a wave of his hand and the volume opened to a blank page. - Take out 'and', it doesn't work.
See, you can't even post a 300 word drabble without me. :D I feel so useful. hehe
This was very good though, I like how you kept him in character the whole time. He didn't write in a diary because he was weak. He was still evil and tough, as demonstrated by his run in with the death eater, but it was quite funny. Though the mistakes distracted me...you know how I am.
Again, this was quite good!
| Silver.Kitten-Chan chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
lol! So perfect! Haha
| Little Miss Random chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
I really want to see where this is headed...keep writing please!
| Mimi-dudette chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
'...Harry's still alive. He just refuses to die.
I hate him.
xD Couldn't help it xD
Really funny one shot/drabble. Somehow, I can actually picture Voldemort hunched over a diary, scribbling his secrets xD
| Aquatine chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
Really interesting, please make chapters longer too ;D