Reviews for Whispers of the Past
SubZeroChimera chapter 25 . 8/7/2012
Another awesome chapter! Ah, Anemos, you're more of a danger to yourself than anything else is... XD
Ivlis chapter 23 . 3/13/2012
YAYS ANOTHER CHAPTER! I've been waiting and waiting for this! I hope you update again soon!
Ivlis chapter 22 . 2/19/2012
SENA NEEDSA HUG! Sorry, just had to say that. I'm going to have my FF story up really soon, when it's up will you check it out? I'm worrying my Selkie (My caravan has two less than yours does at the current moment) will become a little of a Mary-sue. *is rambling* Sorry again, I know you probably just want to hear how your story is. I keep thinking Anemos as a clavat. And the whole *double crosser* thing was confuzzling.
Ivlis chapter 12 . 2/17/2012
Should def write a fic about Gan Raen's caravan. As for your AN's, I have to say, being a yuke never worked for me. I could never figure out how to do a single dungeon on single player, no matter what race I chose.
Ivlis chapter 3 . 1/31/2012
Agree entirely with your AN. THe crab was a pain in the a$$ the FIRST time! I did the dungeon every year in the game and by the end I was wondering why I hadn't gotten sick of those 'hrak' noises yet. Now, time to actually speak about the story. Great job. I love how each of the eight has their own personality, I know how dumb that sounds, but what I mean is this: Each personality is easily distinguished from the rest. not run-together like all my characters. For the nearly six months on FF, I was not able to find a Final Fantasy CC I wanted to read until this one. Once again, I commend you on a job well done, and since I am only on chapter three, I can't wait to finish what is here!
madamescones chapter 20 . 1/25/2012
Your doing amazing! Please keep writing.
Seoul Gamer chapter 12 . 3/17/2011
Seeing as I've been following this fanfiction for some time now, I thought I'd give you a little feedback.

I'll be honest. I chortled at the idea behind the plot. Why bother resetting the world, when you could just write from the very beginning?

However, I soon recognised that you had changed many aspects of the plot, and the introduction of characters and villains that weren’t in the original game keeps things lively and interesting.

Your methods of exposition are clumsy and bog down the tale. Every enemy rambles on about their purpose in the grand scheme of things before being mown down. It would help a lot if you could find a less intrusive way of working these details into the plot. While I don't object to monsters having something to say, don't lay all the cards on the table at once.

Example: Terror, the dragon. If he's so scary, why not let his evil eyes do the talking? Skip the part where he introduces himself and simply have him attack like the unknown menace he is. Anemos can explain his shared history with the beast as time goes on, and leave the readers guessing as to what's really going on. His close relationship with Sena could serve as a means of exposition as he shares his past with her over time.

Pairings-wise, I'd personally prefer to see more mixed-tribe pairings. While I recognise that same-tribe pairings are the norm, mixing up the straightforward getting together of characters would make them far more compelling, as well as lead to more interesting relationships. For example, supposing Kevin took an interest in Sena, the character you seem to want paired with Anemos? This could lead to an interesting love triangle and a source of drama, even if you ultimately plan to have the two Selkies together. Think outside the box and you may discover more compelling ways for your characters to interact.

Oh, and do watch out for typos. There aren’t so many that it’s an eyesore, but some of them are glaring enough that they wrench the reader right out of the story. “But the monster promptly borke free” made me chuckle and detracted from the seriousness of the situation. Be on the lookout for these mistakes. Use spellcheck and a careful beta to eliminate errors.

My main interest in the story is that the plot is genuinely novel and somewhat unpredictable, and I’ll be keeping an eye on this to see where you go with it. I’d particularly like to see a wider range of relationships explored amongst the characters, as I said earlier-not just romantic, but friendships as well. Sometimes it’s easy to just let them interact on two levels; that of the romantic couple and general group interaction. Don’t be afraid to show us how individual pairs of friends or even groups of three or four within the main team get on with one another. Rivalries and grudges make for as compelling reading as closeness and falling in love, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

Another approach to the plot that would work well would be to work exposition into the towns as well as the dungeons. While I recognise that you did this with Marr’s Pass already, I think it would be intriguing to see some characters tracked down in Shella or Leuda that could shed light on the vicious cycle the world is trapped in.

Other than that, this isn’t a bad effort at all, and by and large I prefer it to a lot of the other attempts at a long adventure in this section. Try and keep your methods of exposition more varied and interesting, milk all the drama and relationships from the characters as you can, and I’ll be anticipating seeing how this story develops.

One more thing: try to keep the author’s notes short and sweet. Personally, I don’t care much for the roleplaying with your characters. Author’s notes are for brief comments and explanations of certain parts of the story. I wouldn’t be inclined to give away major hints to the plot in an effort to get people excited. The story itself should do this adequately, and you don’t want to annoy your readers. This is only a minor issue, but it's worth not getting into bad habits.

With that, I wish you the best of luck!
Anja54 chapter 7 . 3/7/2011
A lot of broken bones in this chapterO.O but the battles with the orcs were fine.

I like terror Its like a kind of wise bad guy that gave Anemos a hard time I really like that you dont give all the story of the character in one chapter because that keeps the suspense.

I voted on the poll that you put on your description and its just an idea but I will like to see a breed between two races for the ninth caravaner you know half clavat and half Selkie or something like that but is just an idea!

Keep going I will read the next chapter soon.
Dark Amphithere chapter 8 . 3/3/2011
Oh Verron, you nervous little Lilty. Still, his relationship problems make me giggle.

As for last chapter, I'll admit, the Orc King battle was really short. I mean, I know he isn't that tough, but it was...kind of super short. XD

As for Terror...okay, it's a wild crazy guess, but...Dragon Zombie? Maybe? Since he's not really dead-dead, and he shows up later? Maybe...his battle was pretty short, too.

And I think I know Sena's story, but in case I'm right, I don't want to spoil it. And Anemos isn't being as spotlight hoggy.

And poor Retalm...no, you shall never be a good singer.

Anyways, good job on these two chapters! Keep up the good work!
Dark Amphithere chapter 6 . 3/3/2011
I liked this chapter! :D

And now to asctually explain why. I liked Verron and Ria here. And wow, hateful, prejudiced Lilties. I didn't really have that much in my story, but I guess there would be Lilty supremisists.

And ouch. Neran is in pain. THAT was a bit gross/crazy.

And since I'm a good eye towards detail, at the end, I noticed you mentioned character chapters. Retalm's is at the river? I'm guessing something about his inability to swim, right? As for the others, no idea...at all.

Well, I'll see if I can read another chapter or two and review those! Keep writing!
Dark Amphithere chapter 5 . 3/1/2011
I didn't review last chapter, because not much happened. I don't really have much to say for this chapter either, but not for bad reasons- it was done well.

Miasma streams...very creepy. Very, very creepy. That's about it there.

I liked the Mushroom Forest. I like especially what you did with the Marlboro. Absorbing the flames and gaining powers of fire was bit weird at first, but the way you did it was very nice. I loved the "English, please?" line- those Yukes and their fancy vocabulary.

Good work! I'll read the next two chapters when I can!
Anja54 chapter 6 . 2/28/2011
I laught so loud when Sena was letf by herself at marr pass it was so funny.

This chapter was interesting I really like the lilties so far because they are falling in love but they are in denial as always.

I like Anemos what can I say about him, he is just so amazing, is my favorite character so far!but I will like to see more about the other characters but is just my opinion.

Keep going this story is amazing!

O.o you updated really fast that makes me happy!
Dark Amphithere chapter 3 . 2/26/2011
Ah, the must-have Yukes-eating scene. Although, I didn't expect them to take off their helms completely. Oh well...more fun for Anemos, I guess. XD

The "HRAKS" made me laugh a lot.

Hmmm...well, their inexperience definitely shows...except for Anemos. Actually, Anemos seemed a little overpowered to me. XD I mean, the thunder immune spear, the out-talking the goblins, and over-preparedness...my guess is that he's either been out here before or there's something he knows.

I enjoyed the crab fight, it was very well done. But my absolute favorite moment was when they crossed the bridge. Poor Retalm...he can't swim. XD
Dark Amphithere chapter 2 . 2/24/2011
Well, I like most of the characters. Sena, Verron, Anemos, and Retalm are my current favorites (due to my love of Yukes and Selkies, and I just like Verron). I'm guessing Anemos is your favorite, because he talks a lot and sometimes steals the spotlight (Ray approves).

Although, unless his character chapter is coming up, you don't want to focus on Anemos TOO much. He's kind of Mr. Mystery (I sense mischief and hidden secrets- a Creston-ish aura). Although, I don't think it's that bad. Just something to watch out for the future.

I have no idea the answers to the questions, and I'll try to read the next two chapters when I can.

-DA
Dark Amphithere chapter 1 . 2/23/2011
Okay, I just saw this, and I had to review, so...

Well done. You've come up with a great idea- I've always wondered "what if Raem came back? Or the miasma, at least?" And finally, someone's writing about it! This makes me happy!

I'm also shocked that you mentioned me. Everyone seems to be doing it now...it's kind of embarassing. XD

Good job explaining most of the stuff, but NOW...NITPICKING!

Don't just say that you're going to kill or not kill off character. That just makes everyone either expect it or not. It's basically saying "This might happen, FYI." Try to keep people guessing!

Also, you might want to try a line break or some manner of seperating sections of your work. (I tend to use three bold zeros). It just makes things more organized in my opinion.

It looks like a good start! I'll be sure to watching this story.

-DA
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