|Reviews for The Dawning of the Angels|
| Maneki Neko chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
Well, I liked the story (and the title)... Up to where you introduced the Hero. A Mary-Sue is a character who (to quote the dictionary) is 'A character who is idealistic, lacking flaws, an overidealized self-insertion of the player, unrealistic, or characterized by several cliched and archetypical traits, including physical appearance, nomenclature, history, and personality.'
So basically, what you described as Jessika. (Jessica?)
A character who lacks flaws; she is strong, kind, highly skilled, and very beautiful.
What I suggest is to give her, maybe, a slightly different personality under her 'sweet and kind' exterior. Like very tempermental, reckless, or really shy and timid... Just an idea.
But otherwise, I liked the story! It had a nice hook to it. Keep going! :3
| Lolita Sweet Heart 666 chapter 1 . 5/14/2011
Mary-Sues...they're everywhere... *shot*
| luvondarox chapter 1 . 4/20/2011
Just thought I'd let you know; you've introduced a Mary-Sue. The story was intriguing up until that point.
| sharkreader chapter 1 . 4/5/2011
dragonquest ix is the most awesome game in my point of view...this story is cool. Maybe you could continue it and describe all the adventures in a story- based way that would be like a walkthrough. After the Gittingham palace scene, jess could be the main charachter.