Reviews for Bitter Apple: GENESIS
crosswire chapter 3 . 4/3
So far I'm really liking this story so far. It's well written and well paced. I can't want to read more!
KendrixTermina chapter 8 . 5/24/2014
Interesting way to insert those other aspects of her personality, some good analysis here and there.
KendrixTermina chapter 7 . 5/24/2014
So so much for her military days...
KendrixTermina chapter 6 . 5/24/2014
Another alternate reading/ if you wrote it with a different Kaji, would be "Child of the City".
The original mangaka certainly gave his brains a serious whacking to come up with this one.

...In any case, this chapter, its work with perspective and the description of certain experiences certainly show your wish to alighn it with the spirit of the original.
KendrixTermina chapter 5 . 5/24/2014
Ah, again, the aliases increase, this time one we're familiar with.

It recalls that image of a teenage girl doing stuff on their smartphone in class, only it gets alot awesome when you're a super genius and don't have to bother with hiding/typing on the "smartphone" because it's straight in your head. Again, this blurring between "fairly average outcome for teenager with high IQ" and a deeper, borderline self-destructive tendency/ pondering of deep questions, and the way she sliipped into yet another role/identity/set of surroundings that she'll likely discard soon.

The character is certainly recognizeable.
KendrixTermina chapter 4 . 5/24/2014
Ah, Kuze *.* !

Like all the little forward allusions, 'rigid mask of determination', 'factory machine precision'...

I guess there's two fundamental ways this could have been done, the cheesier, more emotional one of treating this is a time/ memory of 'residual inncence' for the two of them, or the more nuanced, ambiguous ways of already caracterizing them and their connection as one of similar beings, in situation was well as psyche. You could already feel something of the 'intensity' of their future personalities in here.

Just one nitpick: During their final confrontation, Kuze states that the name he's using at the time is just as made up as hers, so he probably wouldn't have been goin by anything resembling 'Hideo' at the time.
KendrixTermina chapter 3 . 5/24/2014
The last bit was... enlightening, and became headcannon for me now XD

I like the contrast between... a little girl that still drags around a doll, the first experiences of... 'augmented reality', and that blurred line between having to grow up fast in a dark world, having a certain kind of personality type, and 'evolving'/'detaching' as an entity.
KendrixTermina chapter 2 . 5/24/2014
Cool how you already have her massing a collection of aliases, and developing that reliance of willpower and something too high or detached from biology to be called 'instinct', but similar in how it works.
anon chapter 8 . 9/19/2012
i enjoyed the whole story my only critique would be the forming of the team portion...the way you introduced tougusa/togusa seemed lazy but describing his role was spot on...keep up the good work wish i was talented like this
alichi chapter 8 . 6/14/2012
Guest chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
I love this so much3
Octavia Brown chapter 6 . 12/28/2011
I said this in another story but I want to reiterate: you have captured Ms McGlynn's voice & the Major's speech patterns _masterfully_. Bravo!

Also, damn you are a good writer. I'm seriously jealous at the same time that I'm plowing ahead!
Mournster chapter 8 . 9/5/2011
Lovely conclusion. I sound like a broken record but your characterizations are amazing. You made me chuckle to myself a few times with Aramaki's lines, heh. A fan fiction more than capable of fitting itself into the GITS SAC universe. Until Kenji and co. make something else, this will be the Major's backstory for me. Thank you for writing! Inspired to do a bit myself now.
Mournster chapter 7 . 9/5/2011
Another outstanding chapter! But a -tiny- bone to pick. If all of them were soldiers and Motoko ordered them around as she did, they would still have to follow the chain of command. So unless she was the next highest ranking soldier in the group (which I doubt since you stated she was a Corporal), it is highly unlikely they would take orders from her, no matter how much leadership she exhibits. From my knowledge, she did ultimately get promoted to the rank of Major in her military career which led to the use of her nickname.
batty chapter 8 . 9/5/2011
Excellent job. By the way, I too agree with you, I prefer Stand Alone Complex to the movies and the manga.
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