|Reviews for A Detour in Awakening God|
| SubZeroChimera chapter 3 . 4/25/2012
A very interesting story so far, I'm looking forward to seeing more!
| SkyBlueEevee chapter 3 . 2/25/2012
Keep going; please? This is actually very well written, and I think it's the makings of a good story.
That and I want to see how you write Zero. )
But seriously, keep writing!
| NatakunSE chapter 3 . 8/20/2011
Very much liking this so far. Going to keep an eye out for new chapters and such! No rush though! I understand that writing is a hard thing to do well.
Glad you found your important thing! ;)
| Laryna6 chapter 3 . 5/28/2011
Very interesting! "The scenery seemed to echo his mode," in the second paragraph down should probably be mood, unless you deliberately used a more robotic term. Other than that, not much to say so far aside from how you've made it, well... how a despotic government works, and put in a bit of the conflicts that causes with Fefnir.
| mysteriousguy898 chapter 3 . 5/12/2011
Wow. Harpuia acts ten times more human (and a hundred times less utterly bonkers) than he did in the game! I mean, what sane being would say, "I love the pain"? Harpuia shouldn't, but he did in MMZ2. I like your version MUCH better. Do continue; I'm always checking, and the wait was pretty long this time. What WAS the problem you needed to solve?
| MungoJerry chapter 2 . 5/12/2011
Interesting and enjoyable- Harpuia is one of my FAVORITE characters- but you need to learn the meaning of "word economy." A lot of what I'm reading could be rephrased or is repetitive, and needs some beta-ing. ;)
| irisreceptor chapter 2 . 4/3/2011
Fiuu! I was very scared about the idea of the HarpuiaxCiel pairing! then, it would be a ZeroxCiel one?-shining eyes- God! I love that pairing more than. . . than. . . X! he he
Well, it's interesting how Sage Harpuia notices that the resistence is the right side of the true and not Neo Arcadia but we'll more about this later no?
I'll be waiting for more drama!
| Prismatic Color chapter 2 . 3/28/2011
Oh well whatever, first off I mus t say I am impressed by your portrayal of Harpuia. I also noticed something. You're not too big on dialog are you...? Well no biggie, just an observation.
Although I can tell that the tow are rather different, have you by any chance read the following story? If not, I recommend it.
Less than Human: Harpuia's Story_By K. pepper
.. oh by the way you forgot the R in Harpuia's name in the first paragraph of your author's note for chapter two.
| mysteriousguy898 chapter 2 . 3/24/2011
Maverickcy? Is that a word? Anyway, I still love it, and I want you to continue even if I'm the only person looking. This is too good to discontinue when it's barely begun.
| mysteriousguy898 chapter 1 . 3/24/2011
Loved, faved, and reviewed! I had the exact same idea, once, but I never fleshed it out half this far. Great job! Please continue!
| glitchy chapter 2 . 3/22/2011
o This looks like it could turn out to be really interesting, I think you've got Harpy boy's character down pretty well. I'll have to keep my eye on this one. 8D
| Archaon chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
Not bad, not bad at all!
I've never seen this idea before, which should make things interesting, and the writing is good. You'll need to invent stronger enemies now, though. With Zero AND Harpuia aiding the resistance, it would be too easy otherwise.
I would have liked to see the actual scene, where Rocinolle finds out she had been treating 'Resistance enemy number two', however. Could have been glorious.
Anyway, a good beginning to a story with potential. I'll be watching.