Reviews for His Girl
chatty-kathy chapter 56 . 11h
Update please! This story is so good! You are a fantastic writer!
MandaW4 chapter 34 . 1/4
(crying) heart aches for Bella. love your writting. please continue writting.
Dshawna chapter 53 . 12/30/2017
I love how you let quill step up and take on sam thanks for the great fanfic and happy new year
Dshawna chapter 24 . 12/29/2017
I read your other ones there magnifico and i hope you become a famous arthur
Ivi chapter 56 . 12/6/2017
Actualiza por favor
marysix chapter 56 . 11/30/2017
Oh gosh, what a story! I stayed up way past my bedtime to finish because my stomach is just in knots. I was not expecting this at all! I love Kim’s character in this. What is wrong with Jake?! I have a feeling Emily is somehow involved. Almost like Sam is punishing Embry/Bella for being happy when the imprint took that from him? Poor Embry and Bella, just breaks my heart. Love Quil stepping up, and Jared and Paul being great too. The elders are idiots and I can’t wait until they get what’s coming to them.
Dezzi95 chapter 56 . 11/18/2017
Updates please! This is heart wrenching!
Jasella chapter 56 . 10/19/2017
Love this story please update SOON
Megan.K.M209 chapter 56 . 10/8/2017
Please please please update. I absolutely love this story and have read it 5 times. I understand that life can throw things at you and it's hard to resume a story if you don't have the characters yelling at you to finish it but I truly hope that you come back and resume this amazing story.
leoslady4ever chapter 56 . 9/15/2017
Oh damn. This story...I just have no words. It's beyond incredible, and I'm utterly heartbroken that you've had to take a step back from it. Please don't think I'm trying to fuss at you. I know what it's like. I have a story myself that's been on the shelf for a couple years. I can only say I hope one day, you can return to this story. And please know, it's truly remarkable.
Guest chapter 56 . 8/27/2017
Guest chapter 56 . 8/25/2017
This has always been one of my favorite Embry/Bella stories. I really hope you finish it
B4bidden chapter 56 . 8/22/2017
really wish there was more to read pls update
BookWorm702149 chapter 1 . 8/15/2017
Anybody Have TissuesPlease Help Soooooo Sssssssaaaaaaaadddddddd
Calyptra chapter 56 . 7/27/2017
This is one of the best Bella/Embry stories. I loved how they met each other, how they went through friendship. The development was so good. As a couple and as individuals as well. It's so cool that they were awkward teenagers. Most of the time everything sexual is written like "passionate and perfect" but this was really sweet. I literally breezed through this story. I've never been in Embrys corner as much as in this story. I could feel their love reading about their relationship. They way you described them after the break up brought me to tears. Especially Embrys turmoil. I just want to give him a hug and assure him that I'll go get his girl right after I've killed the everyone responsible. I am adore Jake (although I like Bella paired with other wolves as well), so normally I hate it when he is pictured like bratty asshole. But here it was necessary and good. I wonder where he hides out and what the missing puzzle piece is. I thought they were brothers, but then they said Embry was a Uley. Unless it was a lie. I was surprised with Bella's friendship with Katie. And also that she was friends with Kim before the pack knew her. But I liked both. Kim is always overlooked. The plain girl in the shadow of gorgeous Jared. I liked her here. How she defended Bella, stood up to the pack and fought the imprint until Sam blackmailed her. Invalid like the dynamics in the pack. Paul's and Jared's loyalty to Embry is touching. In most stories, as in the books, they remain loyal to Adam because of seniority. I loved them here. Especially Paul, knowingly taking punishment to ensure Bella's safety. And how later, when push came to shove they both chose to disobey to protect her and to support their pack brother. Even when they where forced to obey they showed their displeasure and supported Embry as good as possible. That lacks a lot in the books. Only Jake has a mind of his own in them. I am swooning over angry Embry. Never knew our shy wolf could be so forceful. His outburst at the bonfire and his anger every time Bella was in danger were so well written that I could picture him being like that. One of the best Embrys. Congratulations. I am in love with Kay and Linda. They are hilarious. And Quil... I have no words. I'm pretty indifferent towards that character but you made me love him. He is awesome in a "I want to kill you but I can't because you're loyal and adorable and my brother" kind of way. I love the relationship between him and Bella. I almost peed myself when shy little Bella started twisting his nipple, pepper sprayed him and tied him up. In this Note: nice Bella. Not a doormat and not between two men. Refreshing. She actually has a personality. I have never read about Quil as an Alpha. Sam, Jake, Paul, Embry yes. And I could see each one of them as one. But I never thought of Quil that way. I can only see him filling in temporarily. I'm curious who will the position permanently. I can't wait to find out why they did it, what will happen next. I hope to see Bella and Embry work through this. I hope it isn't back to hobbit was before too quickly. But I also hope it isn't dragged out unnecessarily with dramatics. I can't wait to see the punishments. They should have let Embry finish Sam of. At last a few critic points: I almost abandoned the story because of the point of view. It intrigued me enough to stick with it, but I was tempted. Im not a fan of first person, but if you choose it stick to the point of view if one person. You can maybe make a view exceptions but you have at least 10-15 different point of views and switch through them repeatedly. It's exhausting and takes from the reading experience. Not only that but sometime you switch between points of view every few sentences using bold letters to differentiate. Normally I see that in stories that are far more inferior than this one is. It's a shame. I know that many readers (especially experienced ones) share my opinion. Have you ever thought about trying omniscient third person? This way you can illustrate everyone's thoughts and opinions without having to switch all the time. Sometimes you even repeat parts from another point of view. That's unnecessary. If you considered rewriting in third person this story would be so much better. It would match that quality of the storyline. I tried first person with the occasional switch once. It was just not possible to convey everything without ruining the story. I have decided to change it but haven't come around to it. Another thing that bothered me were the phone calls. I don't understand why you choose this format. Bold withX" in the end. It's a dialog. Writing as a normal dialogue would not disrupt the flow of the story. It would also show a more mature writing. Hell, I think this story has the stuff to be even more successful here in fanfic. I honestly believe that it would appeal to more readers if you worked on how you present it. In know way do i want to insult your writing. I think you have talent. And I will continue reading even in this format, because I have to know how it ends. Im just saying that you can write it in a way that it feels like you are reading a book. That's the thing I have been missing. There are stories out here that have me feeling like I am reading a book. And those are the most popular. Yours doesn't. But it could. It has the potential. If you want you can contact me and I'll search for examples to show you. I'd be happy to help because this story is a little gem. I hope you'll update soon. You got me hooked.
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