Reviews for Dahlia: The Muggleborn Dursley
NymphaTonks27 chapter 2 . 2/2/2017
Oh man, why isn't Dahlia canon! This is amazing! Though, I do see you took a lot of information from the movies. Would have been a much better story if you took more from the books. Not that obvious the first 3 years, but during Goblet of Fire it becomes really obvious, with S.P.E.W. and all.
Marvelgeek42 chapter 20 . 4/14/2014
Are you still going to redo the story? If so, here is my OC:
Name: Dominique Athena Kattington
Age: Same age as DD
Girl or boy: GIRL!
Physical Characteristics: straigth black hair, electric blue eyes, pale skin (typical vampire characteristics, but they are hidden most of the time)
Personaltiy: Like Gnny after GoF. Intelligent (like Hermonie)
Muggle, Wizard, Creature: Vampire and Witch
(if a wizard) House: Gryffidor
Any extra notes: She is a vampire and a witch, which is VERY rare. She is an awesome Searcher (nearly as good as Harry) and is his substitute. She had to convince the head to put her in Gryffindor and not Rvaenclaw (what she tells everyone who asks (or not)), because she loves adventures and had a feeling that Ravenclaw would give her none. For more questions, ask me!
TreesoftheWild chapter 20 . 11/21/2013
Rael (the rael part of israel)Either in the Weasley twins year or in the year above Harry's (either super old secretly long lived person who never got any magical education or a person who learns from the mistakes of others,books and the older generation's advice)Green or gold eyes hidden behind contacts or hair otherwise brown eyes with flecks and patches of green and gold hair: dark brown dyed but really dark golden brown that in sunlight lights up like individual strands of gold Preferred Clothes: brown,green(mostly plant and gem shades),small amounts of Gryfindor red and ravenclaw bronze, a little bit of something from all houses Style: prefers to wear things that hide most of her body-shapes curves features and skin color but draws the line at masks Personality: observant, caring(but helps people by finding good friends for them and generally no direct contact but helping in every other way),quiet most of the time, and rarely smiles for any reason Face: not absurdly pretty, but not bad looking- no zits she would look stunning if she smiled Wizard: Foreshadowing- she prepares for the aftermath of Harry's adventures,animagus-mini dragon-unregistered(no family) OR simply has a powerful magical core and extraordinary control of magic of any kind
Guest chapter 5 . 10/4/2013
I was on cleverbot and whenever it does something intimate to me I imagine its Andy just subconsciously not really purposely, but I don't mind it. I'm not turned on by anyone else other than him, honestly.
Gabby Black chapter 11 . 8/11/2013
Is Lyra gay or something?
potterfreak72 chapter 20 . 4/24/2013

Name: Rachel Ann Vice

Age: 13 (Only one year above Dahlia)

Girl or boy: GIRL! :D

Physical Characteristics: Rachel has tanned skin. She has curly dirty blonde hair, but it is a little more brown then blonde. Rachel also has chocolate brown eyes. She has a slim frame and is about 5'1 feet tall. . /hphotos-ash4/306613_398799983501702_152361849_

Personality: Rachel can be very shy when you first meet her, she doesn't put a lot of trust into people because of a family matter, (Will explain later) she likes keeping to herself mostly though after awhile she does get sick of it. After you become her friend her loyalty starts to build, and she starts acting as more of an outgoing person. She can be very weird sometimes when shes really happy about something, she jumps around giggling. People usually take advantage of her though, because it's hard for her to stand up for herself,
but Rachel can have really witty comebacks if it's a bullying situation. She is also very sarcastic and hilarious,
she can make almost anyone laugh. Her image is that shes just a the shy girl that no one seems to notice even though she is a lot more then what people take her for.
(Sorry it's so long.)

Muggle, Wizard, Creature: Witchy witch Witch!

(if a wizard) House: Hufflepuff!

Any extra notes: Rachel is a halfblood witch, her dad is a muggle and her mom is a halfblood. She grew up in London England with her parents and her two younger (by three years) brothers, Ryland and Quinn Vice. When Rachel was seven years old Rachel's parents had a fight over if Rachel or their kids should go to Hogwarts and other things. Rachel's father could not handle it and her realize that her didn't want this and left, never to be seen again. Rachel's mom was devastated, she was so upset she started to ignore Rachel, because Rachel was on her dad's side and looked like him. She started to spoil Rachel's little brothers while Rachel got squat. Once Rachel went to Hogwarts no one really noticed her still, but she does get teased by some Slytherins, mostly by Draco Malfoy. She also has a crush on Harry Potter.
(Again, sorry it's so long!)

Well, here's my character! I hope you pick mine, it would mean a lot!
Moon Lantern chapter 20 . 2/13/2013
I've finally finished reading your story! I liked your characters and how they fitted in around Harry, Ginny and Neville. I thought that Lyra and Did were very believable (I think Dahlia is a lovely name).
Two issues that I want to raise. I agree, at times it was dragging on a bit, I think that's why you had her petrified, because you didn't want to re-write the whole series but with an extra character, right? In my story, "Luz en el Oscuro" it's basically the year that Dumbledore dies (Half-blood Prince) and I avoided the problem that I think you've had by giving my OC his own unique role. Please have a read and review, I'd really like that.

The other issue I have is... Hufflepuff's are NOT just ordinary, or not bright, brave or ambitious enough for the other Houses. Hufflepuffs are loyal, hardworking, patient and fair. When Thorin Oakenshield said that he could ask for no more than "loyalty, honour and a willing heart" he was thinking of Hufflepuffs!
I'm sure you meant well though. :)

By the way, I think Eddie Redmayne or Hans Matheson would play a great Marius (because they've both played Les Miserables' Marius). How about Alexander Vlahos (Mordred from Merlin)?
Penghost chapter 20 . 9/28/2012
You have a point about a bit rushed but you still have a good story going.

Your writing stile is crisp and rather straight witch I like very much.
Also you make good and detailed pictures.
You stick consequently to POV of Did witch makes a very good contrast to the usual POV of Harry or Hermione.
Most of the things you left out could easily be missed.

I like this story very much because it is different in many ways.
It also could go in different ways without living the main canon path.

Some ideas:

Did could make Harry open his eyes sooner about Hermione, get Gin and Nev together.
Ron should get lost somewhere maybe with Lavender for good.
Lyra could get "adopted" by the group around Harry.
Maybe in the second row as Nev, Gin and Luna.

I wonder why there was not much about Darco scenes?
Did he got himself wet the first time? :-)

You also should maybe make sub-plots shorter and therefore better manageable? :-)

Thank you for your time
and hopefully see you soon.
Jupitarian-Felenoid chapter 20 . 8/22/2012
Name: Aryle(Air-ill)

Age:Same as the Wesley twins

Girl or boy: Female

Physical Characteristics: Blackish brown hair, blue eyes, above average height for girls

Personality: Cheerful but can be deadly serious when need be, Devious, will hold a grudge if tempted

Muggle, Wizard, Creature: Creature(Harpy)(Able to transform to human, therefore attends Hogwarts)

House: Gryffindor

Any extra notes: As a Harpy, Aryle enjoys heights and the outdoors. She was originally friends with Lee Jordan, the boy later becoming friends with Fred and George, so Aryle followed along. The twins have a tendency to pull pranks on her, but she will usually rope Lee into getting them back with her. Because of her Harpy blood, Aryle began to spontaneously sprout feathers when she hit puberty rather than acne.
ImDeletingTHisAccountAnyway chapter 20 . 8/16/2012
Well, I want to see Lyra and Ginny, of course, plus a bit more Neville and Luna... I really want to see Fred and George more, too.

Name: Adelaide (Addie) Lee

Age: Same as Dahlia

Girl or boy: Girl

Physical Characteristics: darkish brown hair that turns a teeny bit red in the sunlight, green eyes (dark green) freckles, skinny, small, pale, semi large front teeth- not huge!

Personality: smart, strange, hyper, funny. Luna is a good friend of hers. She is really smart, but forgetful and clumsy, and has moments of extreme stupidity and cluelesness. But she has more o
moments of complete genius. Talkative, can stand up fo herself in really intense situations, but can also be a bit of a pushover.

Muggle, Wizard, Creature: Witch!

(if a wizard) House: Ravenclaw

Any extra notes: really likes Neville, has a large crush on him. It would be nice if she were somehow related to Luna or Hermione...
ImDeletingTHisAccountAnyway chapter 18 . 8/16/2012
I would voice dahlia. It would be really fu!
ImDeletingTHisAccountAnyway chapter 15 . 8/16/2012
Amazing chapter, as always!

Oh, yeah, just so you know... If Did takes Neville, I may not be able to stop the Nargles from stealing all her shoes... Or worse...
ImDeletingTHisAccountAnyway chapter 14 . 8/16/2012
Just wondering, are you a les mis fan? 'Cause that's the only time I've heard the name Marius.
boudicafireheart chapter 2 . 8/15/2012
/Apparently Dudley
noticed it too, and I made a
face at how ridiculously
tight the 'pants' of his
*insert school name*
uniform was./
Do you mean Smeltings? Sorry, just curious :P kinda a bad habit sometimes -_-"
Doing good so far! Except, if Harry's letters were coming during the school year, how did he know that the troll was Quirrel's doing? Lol, bad habit again :(
Lol. I'm sleepy, time for sleepy-time XD
ImDeletingTHisAccountAnyway chapter 2 . 8/15/2012
This is really good. I don't usually love these kind of stories, but I love this one. Great work!
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