|Reviews for Retribution|
| Chibiwoof chapter 66 . 8/12
I read your first story to this (Rend Asunder), and was so enthralled that I almost FELT like I was actually a part of the story. While there MIGHT be minor mistakes here and there, the story, itself, is so well written that I was completely floored. Most stories on fanfic are not so well written...mine being one of them (I should seriously consider fixing them). For the last week and half, as I have three kids to still tend to, I spent every last second I could, even loosing sleep!, simply to read the next chapter. While my body is extremely happy to finally have a break...I'm aggravated at the sudden halt of progress of the story. I cannot believe how great these stories are and I'm so extremely jealous of the characters in the story! Well...sort of. I do not know what has caused you pause in your writings, and I pray everything is okay, however, I do hope to see an update soon. If not...well...my husband will certainly be happy for the sudden break in my addiction ;)!
| Yolantha chapter 45 . 12/20/2014
Overall, the Landsmeet went better than I was hoping for, especially the banishment of Eamon and Teagan being named Arl of Redcliffe. Still greatly enjoying what I've come to think of as the "L&L story", keep up the great work, as I can always use more great reading material.
| Yolantha chapter 27 . 12/20/2014
Lhiannon just becomes more amazing with every chapter. I knew it was going to have to be her to save Anora, as only a mage could possibly do something to stop Marjolaine before she could kill Anora, but I was expecting a crushing prison, paralysis glyph, or sleep spell, not slowing time with time spiral like she did. Kudos for a great idea and excellent execution of it :)
| Yolantha chapter 2 . 12/19/2014
I just finished Rend Asunder and started on Retribution and I just have to say I'm really looking forward to the rest of it. I greatly enjoyed RA and I'm sure Retribution will be the same, given your great cast of characters and your judicious tweaking of canon to make some things better.
| Antosha Chekhonte chapter 64 . 11/21/2014
I started rereading this series quite awhile back (it's slow going as I usually just catch a few chapters a day on my bus ride to/from work and school). I forgot how much I enjoy the perspective of Lihannon and how her relationship with Loghain works. I enjoy Cousland/Loghain stories, but it's difficult to find him with anyone else, like here.
I'm worried about how their relationship will be affected by this whole clusterfuck. I don't think they *can* go back to how they were, but how can they navigate what's left? How can Loghain deal with what he nearly did, even though it obviously was beyond his control? I suppose the Loghain I have in my mind is very fan-influenced, though given what happened to his mother and how that traumatized him, I don't think the Loghain who's horrified by rape is too far from the canon version.
How will Lhiannon be able to handle it too? She always has so much on her plate. The Architect, Velanna screeching (though I suppose those two are/will be non-entities, though the damage they caused will last), mage haters, the bloody Chantry... it's never just a few minutes of peace for her. And now her relationship with Loghain, one of the few things she relies on, has new challenges.
I finally remembered to sign in for story alerts, so I'll be keeping an eye out for a new chapter!
| Suilven chapter 64 . 11/7/2014
It was a pleasure to be of assistance, as always! :D
I really like how everything with Anders turned out in the final version of the chapter - the conflict within him is wonderful. So many good reasons to let Justice in, and so many very good reasons for keeping him out. ;)
I feel badly for what Lhi and Loghain are going through right now though. I think they both need a tropical island vacation when this is all over. LOL
Come to think of it, I could use a tropical island vacation, too! You, too, I'd bet!
| Suilven chapter 63 . 9/6/2014
The interplay between Lhiannon and Justice is fantastically creepy and compelling. I absolutely love what you've done with this whole sequence. Poor Loghain, too. I have to agree with him that I have no idea how precisely they're going to deal with Justice later. *shudder*
I'm curious as to what's brewing in Amaranthine, too, although I'm confident that Nathaniel will get to the bottom of things (although I'm also sure he's probably not going to like whatever he uncovers there).
This story is wonderful! You're wonderful! More, more, more! :D
| Arsinoe de Blassenville chapter 63 . 8/30/2014
I agree that there's no way to view Justice as a benign spirit, whatever it attempts to claim in canon. Lhiannon acting under its control is very disturbing.
| xseikax chapter 62 . 8/1/2014
oh damn! Justice is going to be a major problem, isn't he? But I loved the insight into how Justice thinks. Its very easy to label him as a 'bad guy', and from our point of view he very much is, but at the same time he is exactly what he calls himself, Justice. I liked that we got to see how black and white Justice sees everything. There is no gray area, and that's the very problem with it. I love that you took the time to show that!
There's so many other things I want to write, but this chapter was just so deep and powerful, both horrifying and beautifully written, that I seem to be at a loss for words.
Lhiannon's pain at her actions is so palpable I was almost in tears when I read it.
So sorry it took me this long to write a review, sweetie. I really can't wait to see what happens next!
| Suilven chapter 62 . 5/17/2014
Woo hoo - happy 3rd birthday, Retribution! I honestly think, in this chapter, that you've succeeded in making the presence/possession of Justice far creepier than he ever was in Awakening or DA2. I liked the slow realization by Lhiannon that she might not be totally control, too. *shudder* The final showdown between Lhi and Velanna was a brutal one to read, but we all knew it wasn't going to be an easy battle. Awesome as always!
| Arsinoe de Blassenville chapter 62 . 5/14/2014
A very dark chapter indeed. I really joined with Lhiannon in hating Velanna, but I also hated the self-named Justice. He calls himself that, but he's clearly something quite different (as is obvious from canon). There is nothing quite as vile as stealing a person's free will, and both Velanna and Justice are guilty of that in this chapter. Now that Velanna is gone, perhaps the pursuit of the Architect will not be so fraught with anguish, but perhaps I'm overly optimistic!
| Wyl chapter 62 . 5/14/2014
Being an old metalhead myself, I picked up on the Queensryche influence as soon as I saw the line "She saw the world through the eyes of a stranger." :) The part where Lhi is forced against her will to see/treat Loghain as Justice saw him - a threat to be removed - also brought to mind "Through Different Eyes" by Fates Warning. Guess I just needed to come up with a Dream Theater reference to complete the "Big 3" of '80s prog metal bands -lol-
The twist of bringing Justice back into the story and then having the spirit join with Lhi is very intriguing. I know Justice promised in the last chapter to leave peacefully after all of this is done, but I wonder if it will be that easy. While it didn't happen in your story obviously, merging with Anders corrupted Justice. I could see that happening here in conjunction with Justice getting a taste of the power he/it can wield through Lhi, and rationalize the need to not keep prior promises. Looking forward to see where that goes.
Hard to believe it's been three years on this story! If you include 'Rend Asunder' it's been even longer. Maybe it doesn't seem as long to me since I didn't start RA until it was complete, and this one was something like 20 chapters in when I picked it up. In any case, what I'm trying to say is that it's impressive that you've stuck with it so long when most authors would've flamed out, and I'm glad you have because it's been a fantastic story/arc.
| Ventisquear chapter 62 . 5/12/2014
Not good... Justice will be a trouble. Solve one problem, cause another... Loghain definitely won't like it, especially since after Justice almost killed him. . I loved how Loghain started to gain control by thinking about his toes in hid woolen socks. Brilliant!
Lhi's conflict, as the admiration of Justice's readiness to act changed to doubt if her thoughts are her own and then to the horror was wonderfully done. I didn't feel sorry for Velanna at all; she chose her own way and now her decision caught up with her. But to watch Lhi's struggle, that was painful.
I'm curious how will they deal with the Architect. Now that Loghain is himself again, I don't think he'll appreciate help of a being that tries to control Lhi's mind.
Great chapter! :)
| Ventisquear chapter 61 . 3/17/2014
Oh, Zev and Leli finally got some time together! Clever Dorothea! I just hope they won't have to pay the price...
Perhaps Dorothea should play a matchmaker and find a nice girl for Dorian? The lad needs to relax.
Justice... now THAT is what I call a twist. I have a suspicion leaving Lhi won't be as easy as possessing her... and that Loghain might not like it. But, at least the Architect and Velanna have it coming. Right? They will die in the next chapter, justly electrocuted. Right?
Now... where's the next chapter?!
| Ventisquear chapter 60 . 3/17/2014
Oh dear - seems there's no end of fun... ships full of heavily armed Templars, rationing the lyrium and spreading lies about mages... One wonders who's the bigger monster here, the Chantry or the Architect.
Speaking of which - I want to end his existence as well. Quickly. But, Velanna first. And I recommend cutting of her head and stabbing a wooden pole in her heart to be sure she's really dead.
But Lhi worries me. A voice that a mage hears in her head, offering help? Not good. At all...