Reviews for The Shocking Discovery
sassygal3 chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
YES! I loved Gibbs reaction to Abby's dress! Perfect! Great chapter! Can't wait for more soon!
The Unlucky 13 chapter 5 . 5/13/2011
It's Fanta not Fango
fart fart chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
Great update.
ShannonJethroGideonCastleSnape chapter 6 . 5/12/2011
hey whats the full website for the dress and every thing?
heidimillett3 chapter 5 . 4/14/2011
I am enjoying your story.

i am looking forward to seeing them get together
fart fart chapter 5 . 4/14/2011
Great update.
deidi chapter 5 . 4/13/2011
First Kiss!
heidimillett3 chapter 4 . 3/31/2011
Them getting together.
fart fart chapter 4 . 3/30/2011
Great update.
anon chapter 4 . 3/30/2011
I like where your story is going and your plot and all, but a few things. Gibbs is OOC, he wouldn't think poetically or jump into a touchy conversation with Abby all of a sudden. I don't see what McGee, Ziva, Tony, and Ducky have to do with this chapter - for that matter, Ducky's mother died, just pointing that out, but I don't know during which time this story takes place, so. Your description could use a little work, but I think it's fine, for the most part.

Also, just an inconsistency error; during the bowling game when Gibbs calls, he tells her to finish the game first, but then she's thinking "what's so important that Gibbs can't wait until I finish the game" or, at least, that's what I gathered from it. That sentence where she's thinking is extremely unclear. Grammatical error, maybe?

Um, also, I like the idea of Kelly appearing to Gibbs, but an eight year old girl isn't going to be using that kind of language. "Intelligent," "bourbon," "imitated"; I don't know, I didn't know what any of that was when I was eight, and I didn't even know what bourbon was until recently (I'm thirteen).

Lastly, and I mentioned this before, Gibbs is *really* OOC. But I like where your story is going and the plot and all. The extra detail with McGee about the half eaten granola bar and the glass of orange juice was some nice description, but I think you could always add more.

Don't take this negatively. I really went into detail to review your story and I've seen way too many writer's get a LITTLE criticism and make a huge deal out of it. I'm just trying to help you improve your writing like everyone else is on this site.

Anyhow, please continue, I'm eager to see what happens to Abby that gets her sent to the hospital.
Elektra Kyle chapter 3 . 3/18/2011
That bourbon had some kick to it.

I like that part with Shannon talking to him.

Looking forward to more.
fart fart chapter 3 . 3/17/2011
Great update.
DS2010 chapter 3 . 3/16/2011
I think Gibbs should take Shannon's advice and move on and start a relationship with Abs. She sure does love her Silverfox.
STLFAN chapter 3 . 3/16/2011
Halucinations - I like it. Anxious to see more, please.
pjr59 chapter 3 . 3/16/2011
still waiting to find out why abby goes to the hospital. Good chapter Shannon was a good touch waiting for the next chapter to see what happens.
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