|Reviews for Ben 10 Coming Home|
| Liana Paulina Whiteheart chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
Hey Rosey! i really am totally loving this it got me hooked since it began! u definitely have a talent for writing! Hope you update soon!
LOVE, LIANA PAULINA WHITEHEART, XOXO 3
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/6/2011
Er, Charmy isn't evil anymore at this point though...
| Super-Midget-Ninja1990 chapter 3 . 4/27/2011
Sorry it's taken me so long to get on & review your story
Great story! I like Charmcaster & Darkstar working together (I hope they do that in an episode of Ben 10 UA)
Awesome work! _
| Niobe's Pen chapter 2 . 4/24/2011
Aw, the batte scene's fine. Apologizing only draws attention and makes you an easy target, and even if your writing sucked (which is doesn't) then it'd be nothing to apologize for. You have a right to write how you wanna.
Sticking to what I said before about the punctuation and other stuff. I love the plot and dialogue, but the few typos throw the pacing off and make it harder to read. Fix that, and this'll be great!
| Niobe's Pen chapter 1 . 4/24/2011
I like the idea of having Charmcaster and Darkstar team up, they would make a pretty good couple. Make sure to illustrate their flaws to keep the story balanced. This is a good plot idea and definitely has potential as a multi-chapter story. My only concern is the formatting. There are a couple grammatical errors, and actions should always be outside quotations in dialogue. Additionally, ANs/commentary are distracting to the reader and should stay at the beggining and end of the story. Everything is there, there are just a couple hickups (mostly missing punctuation) which disrupt the flow of the story. Otherwise, this is really great and I'll read more!
| wenjing10 chapter 3 . 3/15/2011
The story is GREAT!
| Badbella13 chapter 3 . 3/9/2011
Love the ending! Excellent job :)
| Scarlett Rose Petal chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
Wow. Charmcaster and Darkstar are really evil. I love it! I can't wait until you add Gwen into the story. Great job! )
| Radar1388 chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
i really liked this, i can't wait for more
| anon chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
Alright Mike and Charmcaster
| Dark Shining Light chapter 2 . 3/1/2011
Charmcaster seems to be everyone else is pretty much in character! I hope you update ASAP! Its really a good story! P.S. what monster r u referring 2? The one with albedo or where Kevin absurbed ben's watch?
| Badbella13 chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
So here I am, thanks for reviewing my story by the way. Keep writing this sounds really interesting. I really like Chamcaster and Darkstar as a couple... it is creepy but cute in some way jejejejejeje :) Good job!
| Solora Goldsun chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
This story has some great potential. I'd recommend separating the dialogue so that each new line is a new person instead of having a bunch of different people speaking in the same paragraph. Know what I mean? Also, the style is kinda confused. It would be much better if you lengthened it and elaborated more. And use the parenthesis sparingly. Like, that one line should be changed to "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry!" Kevin glanced toward Ben. "But not for a smoothie, Ben." Besides that and a few punctuation errors, this looks pretty good. Hope I'm not nitpicking... Just trying to help out!