|Reviews for Tides|
| Kurtispj5 chapter 16 . 11/16/2011
Awww Lucy. Even in fanfiction you're still miserable.
And screw Daniel. What a little wanker.
Keep up the good work mate.
| konkoi chapter 16 . 9/13/2011
Yes! Finally what appears to be a Paulo x Jasmine fic. I'm a firm believer in happy endings, so I hope things go well. Update soon.
| BruteOfHell chapter 16 . 8/10/2011
Wow, I wanna see Daniel get whats coming to him, but i also think Jazz needs to deal with what she got herself into. Though I still think Paulo should end up with Lucy in the end, seeing her reaction to his questions and the way she responds to his flirting.
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 16 . 8/6/2011
And this is where I call bullshit. Come on, what the fuck is Paulo doing? Go after Lucy, you freaking moron! I get the message, or whatever: don't leave the one you truly love. But come on, man!
Seriously, that's pretty sad. Lucy angst is never a joyous occasion, least of all when Paulo leaves her alone.
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 15 . 8/6/2011
Aw...that was kind of romantic. And also kind of sickening.
Maybe Jasmine should think a little harder about the date tomorrow...I mean, the fact that he was pretty close to losing his temper when she turned his kiss down was an obvious sign...Then again, if I were Daniel, I would question her trust in me. Each side of that relationship has problems.
That call at the end there...What if the guy had called Daniel as he was having sex with Jasmine? That would've been kinda funny. But anyway, so Daniel is involved in Alejandro's group, or another kind of gang or something? Damn.
| Peter chapter 14 . 7/30/2011
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 14 . 7/30/2011
Of course Jasmine and Daniel were at the same restaurant. God, Paulo just can't seem to catch a break. Not in this story and not in the most recent chapter of the canon comic. Poor guy...
I want to murder Daniel right now. I sure as hell hope he gets his just desserts when this is all over...You should be proud, Ace, for writing a character that's so despicably evil and yet so cocky and awesome at the same time.
I'm surprised David acted "stern" after what occurred between Paulo and Daniel. My first thought is that he shouldn't know what happened, since Paulo made a whole great big story to cover up with his potential problem with Augustus in the first place. Not to mention, if David was hauled up in the bathroom after having a burger known as the "Gut Dominator", then he wouldn't have been expecting Paulo at the table. Usually bathroom complications take a lot of time...Just sayin'... Anyway, you can tell that David was pissed off after that whole episode. It was weird to think of David as "angry", or "distressed", or whatever else other than obliviously jovial. I hope the next chapter starts right up with them outside of the restaurant, and David interrogating Paulo over what actually happened. Don't just never mention it again; it's important, after all. David has a right to know.
Me thinks Lucy will help Paulo forget about his problems... )
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 13 . 7/26/2011
Nothing good can come from David paying a guy to stalk Augustus (I bet he hired Daniel). Even less good can come from Paulo telling David what happened. Oh boy, this looks like a major setup for something big coming up! Can't wait!
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 12 . 7/17/2011
Augustus is not the kind of person who uses coarse language, so I figured he wasn't the guy who Paulo almost ran into at the start of this chapter. Daniel is the only other Siamese cat I can think of, and he's the only other one in all of BCB as far as I'm concerned, so I'm thinking it's him. Not to mention, Augustus probably wouldn't kick Paulo while he was down. Some words would certainly be exchanged, and he probably wouldn't help Paulo by calling for help or even bothering to help him stand up, but he wouldn't kick him.
When Paulo asked Augustus why he helped him, I almost figured Augustus would reply with something like, "Looks like I'm not the monster Daisy and Abbey made me out to be, am I?" He's not a monster, and he's clever like that. :)
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 11 . 7/14/2011
I'm kinda hating Jasmine right now...Talk about moving on fast. Still, I wonder how long these good things will last. I'm still getting bad vibes from Daniel.
Paulo is finally getting a freaking clue, isn't he? 'Bout time.
My favorite parts of the story are still the Lucy and Paulo interactions. You do them quite well. :)
| Volgrand chapter 9 . 6/13/2011
Hmmm I will better post all my reviews in the chapter 10
| Volgrand chapter 10 . 6/13/2011
Well, I'm sorry to say that I didn't like your history.
The plot is pretty obvious: Paulo and Jasmine break, and then... Magic! A wild supernice fancharacter appears, uses his charm attack on Jasmine! It's super effective, Jassmine crushes on Daniel!
I find it pretty... un-original. The only way Daniel figures out about how to have an affair with Jazz is to tell her nice things and be there when she cries.
Despite the point that he is the tipycal character than any teenager girl would love as a boyfriend: Beatiful, hot, smart, lovelly and helpfull. A nice guy that would always be there no matter of what Jassmine does. You center too much in all the good things he has, while he seems to not have a single flaw. How do you expect I like a perfect character?
To see what I mean have a look on Paulo:he has a lot of good things, and also a lot of flawns.
Let me cite you a part of your history:
""Jasmine… maybe this isn't the best time, but this is something I've wanted to tell you ever since I've met you. You are a beautiful girl, and that is not just an idle compliment or an attempt to hit on you, I truly mean it. The way you smile, the glint of intelligence in your eyes, your laugh, everything about you is immaculate. But even more important than your beauty is your mind, sharp and powerful, with a sense of humor and grace few could even compare to, you are striking in every way. You impressed this upon me from the very first time we met and even in that park with tears in your eyes I knew you would pull through because you are that strong." He paused, most of the energy dissipating before sighing and continuing anew. "I understand if you still aren't over that Somali, I really do, but I wanted you to know how I felt and that having you have me would be the greatest honor I could imagine."
Jasmine was silent during his speech, her body motionless. Then, tears formed in her eyes, slow and steadily flowing as emotions old and new wrecked havoc on her heart. "Why Daniel, I told you more than once not to do this and yet you insist on it? Why?"
Daniel replied calmly, "Because it's true."
Oh please, put me the titanic soundtrack while he says that! [/ironic] Really man, it is WAAAAY too cheesy. And Jassmine dissapoints me there. I mean, she is intelligent, smart, and just came from breaking over Paulo. You really mean that she would fall in love with Daniel only because he says a bunch of sthereotypical nice words and compliments?
On the other hand, the PauloxLucy crush was a little better. It was expected, but in my opinion it was too fast. I don't think Lucy would be THAT close of kissing him the first day after Paulo broke with Jazz. Anyway, that's only my personal though.
About the rest, the story was pretty well written. I liked specially the parts where you focused in each character's feelings and thoughs, some poetry things you added (as the leaves' dance while Jazz was going to the park with Paulo). Also how you described Paulo's dad: a man that says exactly the necessary words.
And well, I have to say that I laughed a lot with the aquarium scene with the sharks. But again, it was way too forced to let them alone.
I hope you are not offended by my review, I only say things as I see them. I will read the rest of the chapters to see how the story changes (maybe you will surprise me in the end).
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 10 . 6/12/2011
"I'm truly sorry about that kids, Rollo and Faneuil have been eyeing this girlie and I figured confrontation might occur especially since Rollo is so feisty and, well, I just had to step in and separate them, forcibly."
I suspect foreshadowing and/or symbolism here...
Anyway, great job. Daniel seems to be a good match for Jasmine, and they seemed to a have a nice moment at the end there, but his devious grin still perplexes and worries me. How long will these good feelings last? :O
| Jamie chapter 9 . 6/7/2011
I love your story! Great job, I cant wait to read the next chapter!
| nintendosegasonyguy chapter 9 . 5/30/2011
Good. The two perspectives thing really works in your favor here. It's a good way to keep both sides happy.
The symbolism of the "What the hell was that?" thing was pretty interesting and cool.
Daniel looks to have more ulterior motives than he leads on. Is he going to end up being a dick to Jasmine? Actually, he reminds me a lot of Augustus. This whole situation between him and Jasmine mirrors that of Augustus and Daisy.
I'm stilling crossing my fingers for LucyXPaulo. :D