|Reviews for Ginny's Last Battle|
| Killer Kueen chapter 1 . 3/3/2011
Sorry for the delay, darling.
So, for starters, this is too short. Not in the whole ""fan girl way. It's just too short. There isn't much any development of the plot at all. It started out good, maybe a little repetitive (I know, I know, it is intentional), and I agree with Genny being closer to the twins than her other siblings.
What I don't like about this story is that suddenly she accepts that Fred's gone when she sees Harry, and then just as suddenly suddenly she's suicidal to the point of going up against Bellatrix. I noticed you left out that Hermione and Luna were assisting her. There is no transition, no pause. Describe the chaos. Give us a look at what's going on. At this point, the centaurs entered the fray. What was their role?
And she is completely unfazed at finding out that Harry is alive. Here is the wizard who sacrificed everything to keep her safe, who was willing to die at Voldemort's feet to protect everybody - which she knew better than anybody - and she doesn't care.
I understand she just lost her brother. I know she had a girl practically die in her arms. Finding out that the boy she is in love with is actually alive - that warrants some sort of joyful reaction. "Oh! Not all hope is lost! The world isn't so bleak!"
This is Ginny we're talking about.
Okay. I just read over the review, and it seems a little harsh. Please understand that I just want you to do your best. This is a really good start - I kinda like the repetition in the beginning now (and, okay, the last line is nice and final, even if I don't really find it fitting to the story).
Well, that's pretty much all I have to say on this story. This review kind of got out of hand, but I really do hope this helps you.
Don't ever stop writing.