Reviews for Enslaved: Prologue
mythstoorfoot chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
Wow, this is very interesting! I really like the basic premise, and the way in which you've written it. Your writing is very fluid and quite beautiful. Some wonderful imagery here, in particular - "A silvery tear cut down her pale face, like a glistening bolt of lightning".

As for what it all means, I'm still a bit confused, and I'm going to take some time to try and work it out. xD But I love that - it's wonderful that you've written something which really makes me think! I believe this is Monkey remembering the loss of his family when he was young... (please correct me if I'm wrong!)

I liked the connections of the names, and the relief they found in saying them. But I would have liked to see a little bit more of a personal connection, to really draw the reader in and make us feel more pathos at the tragedy of Monkey's loss. It is very upsetting to see how guilty he feels, though, and the way he can't quite remember everything. :(

It's definitely raw, but that's good, because it fills it with emotion and meaning. Plus I love the name Kai, so you get bonus points for that! :D

Very nice work - I'd like to see more. :)