Reviews for The Mist of Time
Nevermore186 chapter 2 . 9/29
I like the plot, it's interesting that they have gone so far back.
Nevermore186 chapter 1 . 9/29
One thing so far, in England we don't say ma'am, we tend to use surnames or first names.
Guest chapter 41 . 7/26
I love it! I think that this might be my favorite of your stories! Thank you!
LightHearted21 chapter 41 . 6/26
Loved this story! Well written!
Marauders122 chapter 41 . 4/24
Hi there! Enjoyed reading your LOVED LOVED it!
Snowdrop92 chapter 41 . 2/18
loved it. I think that was a really really good story!
carryon chapter 41 . 1/6
I absolutely loved this story. Thank you for it.
Like everyone else, I can't help feeling a bit sorry for Arthur. After all he was not an entirely bad git. Yes, he forced her and threatened Fred, but in his defence he was cursed. So in the end, I felt sorry for his pain. Especially knowing that he was never lucky in love. Guinevere cheated on him too, after all. And that damn thing with his own sister sleeping with him.. damn. Not a lucky guy, yeah? Probably lost all his luck in drawing that sword.
Maybe it was all a bit twisted but I enjoyed it immensely. It had it all: love, action, historical accuracy, well sort of (not following that tv series plot about Merlin, that annoyed me to hell), and everything in between. It had mysteriy, real characters, and a well thought plot. Don't get me started with that idiotic tv series that has absolutely no historical accuracy. Your story is So much better.
Guest chapter 31 . 10/31/2016
Books, in the form of a codex (papyrus sheets stitched together) had begun to replace scrolls in 411. But there was no such thing as a "huge library" filled with books, except perhaps in Rome, and even there most of the written words would have been scrolls.

Very few people aside from priests could read - certainly most knights could not. As for there being a book of prayers in a guest room, that would be nearly impossible. The cost of a single "book of hours" (the prayer books used at the time) was the equivalent of the cost of a large farmstead. Not the kind of thing you leave for a guest, even if you are a king.

By the way, there is just one "e" in Emrys, the Welsh form of Merlin's name. I keep forgetting to mention that.

Last, but not least, "Dating" is also a 20th century concept. Courting began in the Renaissance. But until after WWII, there was no "dating". Again, the anachronisms in your story - combined with the poor grammar - hurt it.

So why am I still reading? Bothering to point out easy-to-fix mistakes? Because you do have talent, and a bit of research combined with a good editor or improved English grammar could raise your work from the level of "OK as long as it's free" to "really good, happy to pay for it."
Guest chapter 30 . 10/31/2016
Sandwiches? In the fifth century? Sandwiches were invented in the 1740's - over a thousand years after your story.

Also, you consistently have Hermione "bowing". Ladies do not bow - they curtesy. And in the 4th century, ladies did not dress themselves - maid servants dressed them. Remember, there were no buttons or zippers back then, so things had to be laced up and tied on.

I've lost track of the many other anachronisms in your story. From words like "hi" (20th century), to private chambers in a castle for visitors, to a maid asking a lady if she had appropriate clothes for an event, your characters certainly don't act like characters from the dark ages, or even the Renaissance.
Guest chapter 19 . 10/31/2016
Sidesaddle wasn't common until the late Renaissance. Women rode cross-saddle during Roman times if they rode at all.
Guest chapter 15 . 10/31/2016
In the fifth century (the 400s), Great Britain was just coming out of Roman rule. King Arhur beat back the invading Anglo-Sacons in 497 - so your bit about being "Saxon for generations" is off by about 100 years.

Add in the fact that nobody in 410 knew they were in 410 - the Julian Calendar was still in use, and dated years from the founding of Rome. Assuming anyone they'd have met in a small peasant village would even be familiar with the concept of dates, no one then would have used the format "month, day, year". it would have been something like 15 Mercedonius.

I don't have time to list the many grammar and word use errors, but one of the funniest so far is when Hermione called herself a "gluten" for punishment (instead of glutton - gluten is a substance in cereal grain).

By the way, Ottery St. Catch pole is in Devon, according to J.K. Rowling. Devon is in the Southwest part of England. Camelot is in South Wales. That's only 182 miles, so it's conceivable that people in the village could have heard of King Arthur. It would have been a 7-10 day journey by horse if the weather was good - but none of the peasants would have had horses.

Last, but not least, 410 wasn't "medieval" by any stretch of the imagination - nor was the era of Camelot medieval. These were the Dark Ages. Arthur's court was at its height around 497 - which would have made him over 80 if he was already King in 410. We know he fought his last battle in 537 - so if he became king at 15, and was already King in 410, he was 135 at that time. Even with help from a wizard, that seems a bit old, don't you think?

All I am saying is that a few minutes on Google could have avoided these kinds of errors. I was interested in the story, but the sheer weight of the improbable words and "history" make it hard to keep going. Yes, I know it's fiction, that magic isn't real, and that you can do what you want in your writing - but why bother to set it with 'historical' events if you aren't going to follow a reasonable timeline? It's like writing a Pride & Prejudice story set in Regency England, but giving the Bennet sisters a train ticket tto isit their aunt in London. Just ruins the whole plot.
Grammar Granny chapter 2 . 10/31/2016
Suggestion: Get a quick refresher on how to use personal pronouns, especially when referring to more than one person. So far, every time you've attempted a sentence that references more than one person, your personal pronouns have been wrong.

It's actually pretty easy. In the sentence in which Harry, Ginny, and Bill are on one team, you wrote, "Harry, Her, and Bill", but it should have beeen "She, Harry, and Bill were on one team." (Her is used when there is an object or possession - as in "it belongs TO her" or "Her dog ran away". It would have been more correct to use everyone's name in that sentence - in general, in a series, the parts of speech used should be the same. So you say, "Harry, Bill, and Ginny", not "She, Bill and Harry." But if you are going to use a pronoun for the female in that series, it would be "she".

I don't remember the exact sentence, but you used the phrase, "Harry and Myself" - again, "myself" is used when there is an object. The phrase should have been "Harry and I" or "Harry and me". I think the original was something like, "It filled both Harry and myself up". The word "both" isn't needed, and "myself" is used only in a sentence that also contains the word "I". Example: I did this myself, I don't like photos of myself, I wanted to keep him for myself.

To figure out the correct pronoun, simply take away all the other people and use the pronoun you'd use if it was just one person doing something. You wouldn't say, "It filled myself up", so you wouldn't say "Harry and myself".

It may seem like a minor nit, but it's really distracting. And your story deserves to be read - without distractions. So far, I am enjoying it except for the jarring grammar errors.
curlyq18 chapter 41 . 10/7/2016
Wow, I absolutely loved this story! I am fascinated by the Middle Ages and of course a cute Fred/hermionie added to the mix made it even better. I loved the characters, especially your portrayal of Arthur and Merlin, and I can honestly say that this is one my favorite stories of all I have read! I might be a bit biased because I tend to have a romanticized view of medival times and Camelot, the fancy dresses, knights, courtships, and smalls towns, yet you wrote about them all flawlessly. You did a wonderful job as always, I can't wait to find more stories of yours!
kalikk chapter 41 . 8/15/2016
Essa foi uma das coisas mais divertidas que já li.
Langerz chapter 1 . 8/12/2016
I love this fanfic! It's abit smutty in some chapters but other than that it was perfect! This was like reading an entire book, it was FANTASTIC! Please keep writing!
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