|Reviews for Broken|
| Pietersielie chapter 22 . 11/20
I can only applaud and admire the beautifully descriptive writing you have when writing in a dragon's POV. It was there from the beginning, yes, but when I got here and saw the word "deepsinger", I was stunned. Precious in its simplicity, yet profound in its complexity and meaning. For some reason sand grains got stuck in my eyes when I read it. I can only say thank you.
| Celestra chapter 41 . 11/3
In this chapter, I was struck by your descriptions of the dragons' fighting. In the movies the violence is implicit but never graphic - we hear about deaths and injuries, but even the Bewilderbeast did not have an abundance of blood when it was gored. I find your descriptions of the violence here (as in other areas of this story where realistic research is evident) lend the story a strong sense of realism that is sometimes lacking in the movie and show - we forget that dragons are ferocious killers and for that matter, so are Vikings there, but never here. Well done :)
| Guest chapter 41 . 10/31
We are still hanging on. Thank you for your hard work. This story is worth waiting on, no matter how long it takes. Thanks again.
| Celestra chapter 40 . 10/28
Aha, knew it couldn't be that simple of a resolution with the added complications of further free-agents such as Einarr (forgot about him) and Crush Claw's desire to aid Kettlecrack. Many more immediate cliffhangers at this point in the game compared to earlier chapters as well!
I particularly enjoyed the passages describing the Timberjack, as well as Hiccup's conscious observations of the fireball - much the same as in the first movie, but this time we get the privilege of his impression of it.
| Celestra chapter 39 . 10/28
Sorry I've been so delayed in reviewing - I moved house recently, so things have been hectic! Everything is looking good here, though - story elements seem to be on a clear trajectory, barring any possible twists you might have in store with a crafty Smoketail, or plans gone awry (as they so often do...) I must say I am most curious as to seeing how Kettlecrack and his growing relationship with Smoketail will ultimately come into play, especially once he encounters the other Berkians acting counter to his plans with his beastie..
| anhedral chapter 40 . 10/22
Whoa - there's just so much going on in this chapter! The first point I'd make is that your handling of multiple POVs, fitting it all together like a huge jigsaw, is just very, very impressive.
Einarr's experience gives a palpable impression of the immensity of Smoketail. You include so many details here, all worked through and convincingly described - it really helps to let us picture the scene. Einarr's lighting of the match and keeping it - and himself - concealed were good examples of this.
Our feelings towards Einarr remain ambivalent. For all his short-sightedness and selfishness, he still wants to save Jaspin, and when his 'hunt' fails he commits to helping Stoick's party.
I took a perverse delight in your descriptions of Kettlecrack being tossed around on top of Smoketail. Again, the details you provide here are so convincing. So often in fantasy we see characters soak up impossible amounts of damage and exceed all reasonable human limits, physically. I find this gets tired pretty quickly. How refreshing, then, to see Kettlecrack thrown about as he is here, so out of control, his body a victim of momentum and inertia; and how impossible he finds it to hold on to that huge dragon.
With the change to Smoketail's viewpoint we again experience the shift in tone and vocabulary that's such a consistent trademark of the way you portray dragons. How you've managed to maintain this over many, many thousands of words baffles me; it's a truly impressive achievement! I really enjoyed all of Smoketail's thoughts here, his analysis of the unfamiliar situation, the assumptions and errors that he makes. By portraying him as intelligent and adaptable you make us dread the fate of our heroes even more...
How quickly have the members of Stoick's band shifted their mindset regarding dragons. The buildup was there, of course, in previous chapters; but even so, we're struck here by just how concerned all the humans are at the possibility of harm to their bonded reptile partners, and indeed to all the enthralled dragons of the nest. So many modifications to their weapons to reduce the risk of dragon injuries! For some reason, it's the changes in attitude that have come over the twins that I find the most touching of all. And the behaviours of the dragons in this section, the maimed ones and the healthy alike, were almost heartbreaking in their intensity. You paint their compassion and suffering so beautifully; if anything, the dragons here seem even more humane than their human counterparts.
I never realised that Timberjacks have no legs! It must be incredibly hard to 'warm' to such a terrifying creature, especially with the temperament you describe. And what a way to end that section! I really hope Truthseeker survives the Timberjack's attack. I have to admit, your descriptions of the dragons fighting 'hand-to-hand' (as it were) were difficult to read. Not because there was any deficit in the writing; rather, we've come to value these individual reptilian characters as much as any of the humans, so seeing them come to harm is painful and distressing to the reader.
Poor Crushclaw...we warm towards this dragon like no other, in all his physical disadvantage, his boundless love for his Kettlecrack that will never be returned (unless you're planning a massive twist), his inner conflict in the face of insufficient information. I have a niggling feeling that Crushclaw yet has some pivotal part to play, but must wait for the story to reveal what it may be.
As I should have expected, you save the very best till last. The pacing of those final pages increases to a breakneck level, and the quick-fire (ha!) interactions of all the different characters leaving the reader almost breathless. Hiccup's distraction of Astrid...an example of the best of intentions, but the worst of all possible outcomes? You leave us waiting impatiently for the resolution.
'Conflagration' is a fine title for this chapter - not just in the obvious sense of dragon fire, but also in conveying the wider disintegration of aspirations amongst all the different parties. There is superb storytelling on display here.
| ivanganev1992 chapter 40 . 10/6
This is once again violent confrontation.
But it wants prospect to the nest.
But when Smoketail's huge size and his Mother 's reputation is the reason for the conflict driven by fear.
But will be peaceful conclusion?!
It is curious as a innocent oversized mountain sized child.
Not evil Tiranic beast.
So will you save the innocent even if it is innocent scary Red Death?
| ivanganev1992 chapter 37 . 10/6
Still Stoic made a mistake when he was especially warned what not to do.
| ivanganev1992 chapter 33 . 10/5
Still I have hope for Smoketail or something similar as a name .
As for that they to be the injured kind how will it happen if are no other options how serious would be to block the smell but be able to fight?!
| ivanganev1992 chapter 29 . 10/5
In one story the offspring of the CURSED RED DEATH was innocent and got a chance to prove it's innocence.
In other it was killed and dying asked with sad reproachful eyes what does it done.
And here is a other one.
It cares for the nest's prospect but it has a bit of the old Red Death but it has triggered curiosity. And could be saved if it is non violent.
So will be saved?!
| ivanganev1992 chapter 22 . 10/4
By describing those feelings coming from the liver it should mean heart.
But sometimes the feeling of that pain in the hearth might be mistaken with a pain in the liver.
Or around it or the kidneys.
And are very rare occasions of different places when the organs are misplaced placed differently in the other side in the body and cause confusion.
| ivanganev1992 chapter 20 . 10/4
I imagined Folkvardr as a person.
A lean lad/lass with blond or red hair, the color of the scales as a clothes and the draconic features like the wings in the back and the tail where continues the tailbone with the typical features for its kind.
And flowing by the wind string of leather or silk tied in the head like bandana.
But is still a little hard with the imagination to be seen in this human way .
| TheShadoWWorrior chapter 40 . 10/4
Nope, not boring at all. I look forward to the next one.
| HawkTooth chapter 40 . 10/4
Your worry too much about over-use of scene depiction here. Multiple viewpoints of the same timeline can become distracting and boring if done improper, but with the right artist's hand each view is its own unique tale. You did well with it.
The only issue that I have is that it's just taking so long to hit climax (somewhat but not fully sarcastic here)! We're all here, ready for the battle to unfold, and it has begun, so we're watching for the major action. But, all good things take time as well...
| ivanganev1992 chapter 18 . 10/4
The dragons might be mutated dinosaurs or Childs of Loki or whatever.
Might had a lesser knolige or different understanding but the prove , the evidence is here in front of the eyes.
The intelligence in them are here.
But even the current situation is not so good looking for him and the discovery.
Fishlegs should be open for this discovery driven of his thirst for knowledge.
But who else is?
Will Astrid assept that shocking revelation?!