Reviews for Coming Undone
SaturatedFat chapter 1 . 6/1
Omigosh omigosh
This fic...

Makes me craving for more! Gahh!

But i thought Kyoya doesn't drink...
dead or alive0013 chapter 1 . 11/24/2011
I... am speechless. That was hot yet so sweet at the same time! I have no words for now aside from 'I love this' and 'thank you for writing this'!
Itachis-Witch chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
What a cute and wonderfull story. I enjoyed every minute of reading this.
TheEndofTag chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
this is sooo cute! espeically the ending!
SweetxSnowxDream chapter 1 . 6/27/2011
oh that was too hawt and cute XD! this was an awesome story, and i hope to read more from you in the future 8D!
heavensentskysky chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
cute story :) i love this pairing
cosmoticflower chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
i love iiiiit... Omg ... Omg... Speechless... Oh shishi... Omg shishishi of bel... Okay... Im really sleepy... But i really love this... I cant... Goodnight... Shishishi... Did i say i love it? Kk baibai
Paradoxismminant chapter 1 . 3/23/2011
Definitely a good story.

I've never read one quite like this before c:. And I'm glad I read this one!
atds chapter 1 . 3/17/2011
*can't find words to descibe how awesome this is*

Pr1nc3LuvsFr0ggy chapter 1 . 3/10/2011
Ahaha! Loe this story!
aomoa chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
Nice AU :D

I really liked how you kept Hibari in character, without turning him into a typical uke

Suzuno Akaya chapter 1 . 3/7/2011
Ah, ow... This story make me felt and imagine that I'm is 'seme'. And that's make me more than happy., Hibari is stripping dancer (well, I don't know much about that kind)? I wonder if Hibari fell in love with Dino, 'cause, he didn't reject when Dino offers another date-that somehow make my mind relationing (I don't know this word exist or not) that fact with another hot coughsexcough night.


Ew, Hibari seems pleasurab-*bited by tonfa* Uhm, I mean, he looked satisfied after that. And I think this is sweet lemon, and I like it. Although I do like sweet(?) 'rape' and rough make out than that... But, still! I love this.



S. Seiyo
Reni-is-ishida chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
*nosebleeding* i dont know what i've to say! This story is really AWESOME, SEXY and DAMN GOOD! I Love D18. . I Love Takigawa-san. . I love this story. . Is it one-shot?
IDespiseTragedy chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
Omigosh, so sexy! *nosebleed*

Again, you’ve done a marvellous job with imageries. I should learn from you; I’m not a patient person by nature, so my imageries frequently end up less detailed as they are supposed to be.

Hibari’s occasional OOC-ness is unavoidable due to the story’s circumstances, but it’s still within tolerable level.

Just an opinion, if you don’t mind, regarding this line: "Not yet," I told him breathlessly. "This will last as long as possible." While it’s plausible enough to have such a thing as parts of Dino’s thoughts, maybe putting it into his actual speech is a bit awkward. Perhaps something like can be considered as an alternative: "Not yet," I told him breathlessly. "I want to taste more of you." Reason: wouldn’t it better to seduce the uke with something complimentary (something beneficial to the uke) than to tell him the seme’s actual need (which concerns the seme’s interest)?

I fail to see the supposed pun in the title. Mind explaining it?
aimeeshii chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
So slutty. Mmm. Kyouya should have been wearing panties instead. Nice and frilly ones~ HE'S SO SLUTTY FFFFFF. Dino's a obsessive weirdo too. /bricked