|Reviews for Wasteland|
| Amaranthine Moon chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
Oh god... wait he's cruel, I shouldn't use him. Oops. Lets start again.
Oh my ffffffff... a crazy Naoya! Strange way of writing, to say the least.
| Viviane Renard chapter 1 . 7/27/2012
Great point here:
"For this, this gift of death, Cain's gift was utterly ignored, tossed aside. Sinful? What about his gift was sinful? Wasn't needless death more sinful? Was it wrong to want to do something nice for family? Was it wrong to think that death and suffering and blood were wrong?"
I've always wondered why the animal sacrifice was valued over the gift of vegetation...so I can understand Cain's frustration and anger that led to his unintentional murder. You did a good job of showing Cain's skewed point of view, calling God "grandfather" and angels "uncles" and "aunts." The fact that you avoid key words brings home the point that this story is told from a very particular point of view.
| Heartless Lotus chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
Wao. This fanfic is really interesting, giving me a new opinion about the Old Testament, my family is Christian, but reading this story... it makes me thought of some new things myself.
This story is really great, especially how you describing the first humans naivety and pureness. One of the best I have read, thanks for such an amazing story! XD
| Shinigami Yumi chapter 1 . 6/8/2011
You know, while I've never really been in the "God is sugar and spice and everything nice" camp, and I agree that some of the things in the Bible are disconcerting to say the least, I can't say I've ever come away from reading the Old Testament with the impression that agriculture and vegetarianism/veganism is a bad thing. Colour me curious as to what part of it you're referring to.
If the fruit of the tree of knowledge is one we know of today, then it is infinitely more likely to be a pomegranate than an apple, yes. Personally, my impression was always that it's a special tree with a special fruit, and until eating any kind of fruit starts dumping knowledge in my head, I'm going to go with the idea that it doesn't exist outside of Eden except in artists' imaginations and remain bemused by the fact that a pomegranate versus apple 'debate' even exists.
On to the fic proper, I really like the atmosphere you have going here and that you're tackling the idea of Cain's issue with God from an unusual angle. The convoluted thought process with the occasional insertion of modern commentary that varies from being childlike to jaded suits a less-than-sane Naoya, and his interpretation of the events makes you go, "Huh?" and "I guess that could be how it was," at the same time.
I feel that the mention of Naoya being an unreliable narrator you edited in somewhat detracts from it all because you end up reading with the idea that you're supposed to doubt him already in mind, as opposed to having it dawn upon you later, which would have made more of an impact. Also, considering how the entire narrative suggests that he knows better, that it's Abel that has a problem, that it's the awful things Abel does that makes him snap and so on, it seems odd for Naoya to recognize that he's anything but sane. Crazy people don't think they're crazy. To them, it's always someone/something else to blame, other people who are strange and don't understand. You've done a great job sticking to that theme throughout, so when out of the blue, he decides he's not sane, it's really out of place, in my opinion.
Minor punctuation note: Some of the commas really should be semi-colons, and there are a few commas missing or misplaced throughout. In addition, it's spelled "shepherd."
All in all, I really like the idea, and the execution has been pulled off really well. It's a very different take on Naoya. He's always given me the impression of a little more...dark intensity might be the thing to call it, but this is also very plausible. The ending is simply perfect, by the way. And that's about all I have for you. If you ever write more Devil Survivor (that doesn't involve either Yuzu or Midori because I wanted to choke them both so badly all throughout the game), I'd look forward to it.
| nothign to see here chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
This is one of those fanfics that make me think, "Wow. I still have a long way to go."
Thank you for sharing this with us! It was kind of confusing at first, but I like how the story just... I dunno how to explain it, actually. Anyways, that was a very good read. Everything was so believable and in-character and boy I do like to ramble, don't I?
| nmngh chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
This... I know I'll have to read it again, probably many more times, to try to understand fully, but I think that you should know that this is the most amazing piece of fanfiction I've read so far.
I couldn't look away from this at any time while I was reading it. It just completely engaged me. Honestly, I feel a little shocked. The story you told was just so well-written and in-depth to match Naoya's character and the complexity of his past...
Wow, I'm just blown away by this. It's so... eloquent.
Thank you so much for writing this.
P.S. Hey, Aziraphale... didn't you used to have a...
...They looked cold! And she had just given birth! What was I supposed to do?