|Reviews for Turn Back Time|
| Blink33Gal chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
This is really good! xxx
| Naaer- inactive chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
I think it's good. It has good flow and the repetition really hits home :)
| SheWroteTheWords chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
Firstly, are you quite new to fanfic? Some things you do seem like the things I did when I was new to fanfic. So let me pull my wisdom of almost three years of fanfic on to you :P It's not a good idea to put 'I don't think it's very good' in the summary because some people we see that and it'll be off putting for them. You'll get the random weirdoes like me who purposely read the ones that say that just to see if they are bad because usually they're not as bad as the person things, but as a whole it can be off putting.
As a literature A2 student I look at poetry a lot, and I love poetry and song lyrics and i believe it's the same thing (clue to that is probably in my username). So looking at this like a poem it's fairly good. Not brilliant but not completely rubbish. I'd recommend having more to it than there is, currently the ‘Turn back time’ is repeated a little too much and there not much else to the song. Of course repetition is good, because songs are repetitious, I just think there needs to be something more. Maybe more about what happened between them, or more to do with the emotion Rose (I’m assuming it’s from Rose’s point of view) is feeling. I’d also recommend changing it into verses with a chorus, because you’re calling it a ‘song’ rather than a ‘poem’
Also, and this is purely my opinion which you have every right to completely ignore (I don’t want you to think I’m telling you how to write, I’m just trying to help), I’d use ‘2005’ rather than ‘2006’, because then it’d be like Rose wanted to go back to the beginning, and do it all again rather than forced to leave him and trapped. But then at the same time, 2006 works because of the year she was missing, and 2006 because DT’s first series. So either way.
Wow, I went on a bit there. I hope it was helpful :)! One finally piece of advice: KEEP WRITING! :P