|Reviews for Dinosaur world at war|
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/10
What are you doing you are taking one of the most offensive war film ever made and combined with a show that I have loved for years WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
| Falcon88 chapter 10 . 1/24/2012
Hey sorry this took so long. Things got worse when not only dd I lose my internet, but so did the whole house. It's still gonna get worse because while my PC is still mostly useable, I'll have to fully retore it to factory settings (and lose all my stuff in the process) in order to regain full use; namely the ability to run games and softwares. As for the chapter, it was cool. Some typos and run-ons. I think you should have had Blade have a bit more difficulty with the Panzers, though. Add a bit of suspense for the audience; maybe had him have to leap onto the Panzers and rip the turrents off, while not getting shot by another; just a suggestion, it's your story. Keep on going.
| Falcon88 chapter 9 . 12/16/2011
Hey, cool chapter. A few typos here and there. One area I'll point out, you write 'Danny and Rafe shot the Fast-biters with their Thompson's, as Danny, Rafe, and King met up with Littlefoot and the gang.' You don't need to name Danny and Rafe twice; just say 'and they met up with Littlefoot and the gang'. I can tell you spend time with the plot and that's good, but also do so with the writing, don't rush, people will appreciate it more.
| Falcon88 chapter 8 . 11/30/2011
Interesting chapter, though I felt it went a bit fast. Maybe showed a bit more of the air battle. I would like to point out there are still run on sentences mainly in your descriptions of what going on. Can't wait to see what you decide to do with the base. It'd be interesting to see them use the captured planes with allied markings, or maybe even for spying (though the allies would have to study them well to tell them from actual axis piloted planes. I feel I should also add that while the 234 had amazing speed an maneuverability, it had notoriously bad engines and poor design (cockpit aligned with the fuselage and tail) made shooting backwards a nightmare for the pilots (A problem others of similar designs such as the B-29 and Tu-4 would have if they bothered to have guns on the nose)). Also, since this is Post-Doolittle Raid, Doolittle would be a Brigadier General, or in the most likely case that the setting is 1943, a Major General. From early '44 to mid-to-late '45, he was a Lieutenant General (his highest rank in service). He became a full General in '85, well after retirement; and I believe he commanded the 5th, 8th and 12th Air Force, but the person who would have been in charge of the Air Force in WWII would have been General of the Air Force (and Army as they only became seperate postwar) Henry Arnold, who was promoted late December of '44. During 1941 to 1944 Arnold, as a General in the army, was also the Commanding General of the Army Air Force. I guess the 1944 promotion just made it "bureaucratically official" as this was also the time of the other short lived 5-star ranks, including General of the Navy. However, Doolittle was commanding General of the Northwest African Strategic Air Forces in eary '43. I know, it's a lot of ranks to keep track of, phew.
| Falcon88 chapter 7 . 9/30/2011
Cool chapter. However, I must mention that you are starting to have many more run-on sentences again. I like the flags from this chapter and last. Very interesting overall.
| Falcon88 chapter 6 . 9/26/2011
Very nice chapter keep going. Just a few typos such as integrate instead of interrogate and when you write 'Joseph Stalin then started speaking in Russian, after Stalin was done speaking, his translator then translates Stalin's words' you did not need to write Stalin so much as we kno it is him you're talking about, Something like 'Joseph Stalin then started speaking in Russian, after hewas done speaking, his translator then translates his words'. Also I just remembered that Pearl Harbor movie ends with the Doolittle Raid in April of 1942, and since they were in 1943, you may want to come up with a scenario to how Danny survived.
| Falcon88 chapter 5 . 8/30/2011
Pretty good chapter. This is definitely the best one yet. There are still some run-ons o work on, but things are much better organized. There are some mistake here and there, such as when you write 'Seeker agrees to sign and join the Axis, but only until the Great Valley is attacked first, then he will join' should be 'but not until (instead of only until) the Great Valley is attacked'. Also, be careful with the timeline as that is very precarious. You state that the Mysterious Beyond is the 4th member of the Axis, though by 1943, they had many more members including Romania, Bulgaria, Thailand, Hungary, and so forth (The exact same thing goes for the Allies, unless you are not planning on including the smaller nations). Something further I'll point out, in the paragraph that starts 'In the Mysterious Beyond, the Axis air forces return from striking the Great Valley,' is a bit long. Perhaps break it down to two or three paragraphs like the others, which are all fine. Finally, wow, you've got like literally everyone here, even civilians and the leaders! Careful not to lose focus and keep going.
| WTF123 chapter 4 . 7/7/2011
This is getting really good!
| Falcon88 chapter 4 . 7/6/2011
Hey, sorry I took a while, the internet at where I'm stay on vacation just comes and goes on a whim. Anyway, good chapter. Nice to see everyone starting to show up. Good news is, you are starting to make spoken parts with periods and less run-ons, though for descriptive parts you still have a lot of run-ons. Also you still seem to be trying to tell, rather then show the story. Finally, there is much going on and it tends to get disorganized. Perhaps this chapter would have been better broken into chapter 4 & 5? An example of were it gets a bit messy is when you have Littlefoot being chased by the axis and sharpteeth to the lake; there are a lot of 'then's running around. Once more, don't be afraid to slow down a bit if you think it will help. I know some people may get impatient, but really we all generally prefer quality over quantity; so don't let it bother you if you think people are getting impatient; we can wait, just don't take several months like I have a bad habit of doing. Hope this helps.
| JudgmentDragon25 chapter 4 . 6/30/2011
Nice battle scene you made. Is the LBT and Home alone 4 chapter 2 ready?
| Falcon88 chapter 3 . 6/18/2011
I'm glad you brought the allies into the picture, otherwise Danny and Rafe would be fighting a pretty lopsided battle in the air. You still have A LOT of run-ons and may I suggest slowing down a bit on the actions sequences and describing what happens a bit more? I know, I'm one to talk, but the trick is to keep it fast-paced without making the descriptions fast. "Show" us rather than "tell" us what happens. Other than that, its a pretty fun story to read; keep going.
| The Insane Shadow Hunter chapter 3 . 6/16/2011
dude i would never had thought of something like this man good story i like the weapons you got some of them are weapons i never evne heard of did you come up with them or do they exist
| Slothspieller chapter 3 . 5/19/2011
Wow... This is the trippiest fanfic I've ever come across. Military otaku-ism, non-PC ethnic names, and cute little dinosaurs that can somehow talk to humans? This story is too bizarre to pass up! Not many authors would have the sheer nerve to write something so entertainingly surreal. Keep it up!
| WTF123 chapter 3 . 5/13/2011
Two words: KICK...ASS! Probably the best Pearl Harbor Fanfic I've ever read. And I've read a few of them, too.
| WTF123 chapter 2 . 5/13/2011
If there's one thing i never could've imagined, it'd be this. And the suspense is KILLING me!