Reviews for Bloor's Camping Trip
Puppy-In-A-Box chapter 2 . 12/1/2014
Cool idea! I love it, especially the plot. But maybe you should get a beta for the proofreading... I always get my brother to read my stuff over before I stick it up. Just for now, try not to switch P.O.V on us too much- maybe say "In the other room, Olivia waited in line." And also your computer or maybe getting it onto FF has made the - sign into this: _, as in "No, Charlie's right_ it's no coincidence." Other than that, a truly great story and a very interesting start.

-P.I.A.B
Guest chapter 15 . 11/29/2013
Lillie
Update! So good, some spelling mistakes, and the way you wrote about
Yolanda and Alice&Alicia sort of confused me. Maybe you shouldn't have picked similar names for the 2 girls. Anyway, really good! Love your writing style! Please update!
Clarizza chapter 15 . 8/6/2013
I really like your originality and your writing!
I dont know why but i really like Emma in trance like Emilia.. Maybe put a little Emilia Moon scene there? But anyways your ideas are pretty awesome! The characters that youve come up with in other fanfictions are here and how you switch POV makes you feel informed and take the scene completely
But i dont like that the text is like in the center, makes it alittle hard to read but that doesnt matter! Details details;)
But you should update! I see it has a lot of positive reviews so continue it! Im really enjoying it(:
Justrockzyxxx chapter 15 . 6/17/2013
Great!
Gogol chapter 14 . 6/6/2013
I really like your story!
Justrockzyxxx chapter 14 . 5/20/2013
Awesome!
MissBellaRodolphus chapter 14 . 5/20/2013
Great new chap. Sorry if this is short but I have to go out now.

Love Miss Bella xxx
MissBellaRodolphus chapter 13 . 5/20/2013
Awesome story! Even though I have exams in like ten days you have just kept me glued to this! Love your ide of the gem kryptonites! Specially for lysander. Oh I love his POV's! Love to hear more even though my parents would kill me for so called wasting valuable revision time! Love it! Keep at it!
Luv Miss Bella xxx
Piko Niko chapter 13 . 5/19/2013
Luv it! Absolutely luv it! I just love Alicia! She's totally adorable. Also, I like the character dialogue - it really plays off of their characters really well.

I have a few questions and a few corrections. Firstly, why is Yolanda being so nice? I mean, I'd always thought her to be. . . mean. Also, wouldn't it be more appropriate to call "your dad" in front of Alicia instead of "Harold"? And if she's supposed to be free in the castle and able to do whatever she wants, why is she locked inside her room. Just food for thought. . .

My only correction would be to make the paragraphs more paragraphy. Some start sooner than others and whatnot and it makes the chapter look like a two-dimensional totem pole. Not that I hate totem poles. It's just a quirk of mine.
Justrockzyxxx chapter 13 . 5/19/2013
Loved it! Great chapter!
Justrockzyxxx chapter 12 . 5/18/2013
I would like to know what is going in back at camp actually... So yes! Great chapter!
Justrockzyxxx chapter 11 . 5/17/2013
Must read more! Brilliant!
Piko Niko chapter 8 . 4/7/2013
It's a little confusing who's related to the Bloors and who's the little sister. . . Maybe I skipped the part where everything is explained. I feel like 3 OCs is too much to introduce in so little chapters. Nevertheless, I like your updated story! You have a nice plot and pretty awesome plot twists. :)
Justrockzyxxx chapter 10 . 4/1/2013
Ooh...
Justrockzyxxx chapter 9 . 3/30/2013
Woah... 3 in one day! Not even i can do that! Great chapters!
25 | Page 1 2 Next »