|Reviews for Of Fur and Flame Book One: Two Daughters|
| Divebomber chapter 16 . 4/2/2014
I finally found time to read through this story. I've found the woodlander part to be pretty great, and the vermin part to be lacking. The biggest "I don't believe this" part is Konnal continuing to obey Nicara after chapter 14, instead of going any number of things lovesick people tend to do when rejected in a particularly humiliating way. I also didn't particularly like the fact that the only villain with an actual connection with the woodlander part of the story so far got very much sidelined. Will see how it develops later. And overall, the woodlander chapters just seem much more heartfelt.
Also, while reading, I've spotted a couple of typos throughout the text:
Ch.9 “Winking rougishly…”
Ch.15 The chapter name is spelled as “To love they father” in the chapter’s list.
Ch.16. “…shooting fired arrows…” shouldn’t it be "fire arrows"?
| Quaver Ava chapter 16 . 11/9/2012
Killy? Killy? Killicia? You're a little ferret maid captain with a silly smile and personality that's freaking adorable! *Jumps on you and pulls you into an ever tight hug.*
Anyways when I read the name I was pretty surprised. I didn't think that your username was actually a character's name too. So now I can't help but think of this little girl going to be one of those grey characters you promised me earlier. I look forward to seeing her grow up into a dangerous ferret captain that'll be taking on Nicara as I have no doubt the two will be clashing in the future.
Things I'm curious about, Killy, is how Killy lost her poor little leg! It looks like her father has a good tinkerer for she's got herself a fancy leg that work. Will we be seeing any special little things this leg of hers can do, or is it just for the purpose of waling?
Another thing I took note of was her age. She's in command of a vessel at ten. That's some pretty big responsibilities, but at the same time she's got herself some good fellows who are looking after her. This ship crew doesn't seem to bad, but I've only seen one chapter with them in it. I like how she's still very much a kid but has a little bit of leadership as well. It's sad to think that in a few seasons she'll be just was ruthless as any other corsair with a saber at her side with plenty of blood on it. Hopefully she'll turn out to be a Romsca like character with lots of fun personality and a lighter grey but still a corsair all the same.
Then we see that Nicara has big plans. She no longer sees fit to be at the ports anymore and seeks to run a fleet. I'm not sure if Vaniska would be happy to have a vixen at night to bed with or troubled that his dreams of being a warlord, a land bound warlord, has been dashed for now. I'm kinda sad to see that our pyromaniac won't be setting anything ablaze anytime soon. But then again she said they're simply looking for richer lands to claim as their own. So who knows, he might just get to burn some more stuff in the future.
A great ending to the first book of this wonderful series. You conclude it with the introduction of a new and quite adorable little girl. I'm excited to see how time passes and where how this new character changes. I'm also looking forward to seeing Vaniska keeping himself from getting his throat cut out by Konnal and winning in the power struggle that will surely take place between him and his new mate. Finally I look forward to see how Letti and Blyth' fare and affect the tides of fate.
Here's yourself a foxie face!.Quavera_Tava
| Quaver Ava chapter 15 . 11/8/2012
Nicara schemes and plans some more. She calls in her favor and set out to murder her father. It's revealed that she grew up without a mother, something I had been wondering about, and that the father tried to give her the best he could. Unknowingly he has created a evil monster who thinks of nothing but herself and plans to destroy everything he has worked so hard for. Is it revenge or just pure selfishness?
I found his finale speech heart warming and sad at the same time. Because as he spoke I knew he was saying his last words before he took his drink and died. But then again, from seeing him drink the whole glass, I believe he actually knew of his daughter's plans in the end. That's why he spoke to her like so and refrained from drinking until she had proposed a toast. He had paid the ultimate price for her happiness and when everything is over it will be for naught.
Another anjoyable chapter to read. I look forward to finishig Book one and seeing how Vaniska, Nicara, and everything else concludes.
Shall we set things ablaze? :D
| Quaver Ava chapter 14 . 11/8/2012
So, Vaniska meets his first mutiny but his last remaining loyal companion sticks a sharp pointy thing through the uprising stoat. Shame, I was looking forward to seeing if the fox could handle it by himself without killing one of his very few gang members. But then we see even Wayta is getting tired of the fox and tells him there won't be a next time.
Vaniska lucks out and sleeps soundly that night with the dreams of a warlord and riches. Lucky little fox. To bad he's also a big fool. Doesn't he know when in a Redwall fic he'll always lose in the end? Oh sorry, getting ahead of myself. XD
And next we have planning, lots of evil scheming between Nicara and her lover Konnal. This somehow reminds me of how Highwing had his characters plan out what they were going to do. It's fun to see an element in your story that you enjoyed in his. I would even say the planning was just as entertaining as Highwing's, especially with the ending.
Poor Konnal got shot down. I don't think this is going to end to well for him. I can see him slowly letting things slide over time until later in the story he finally comes to a point he decides he needs to kill the wrench that is Nicara or the fool of Vaniska. But for now I think he'll let things smooth on over, for now.
Then we're brought back to Tutsan and Peony as they la down to rest. I especially loved the description here as Tutsan looked onto his wife while she neatly groomed herself. The details on her grooming were long enough for my mind to piece together more details that made the scene artistic like in my mind. Something that I always love to see when I read something and a picture just imprints itself there.
That last comment about the other joys of parenthood made me laugh. I remember my nephew when he was a baby and boy, was he a tough little guy to put to sleep at times. I liked to say I was sleeping him. :P
Finally we meet the snob that's going to get a blade hilt deep into him. Truly prickish ain't he? I didn't give him much thought but to his vanity. It'll be entertaining to see how he's brought back to the real world of vermin right before he leaves it.
We also see that Konnal is feeling jealous. Just how much is the big question. We he prove my previous statements on his patience wrong and act now, or will he meet my expectations? Another thing I look forward to.
Finally Nicara's last comment made me smile, for the prick is truly an idiot. he thinks he's got nothing o worry about a beautiful vixen. This gal wants power and she's ain't going to let anything or anyone get in her way. You can practically see the greed just falling from her!
Another great and wonderfully well written chapter.
| Quaver Ava chapter 13 . 11/8/2012
I love how Tutsan is so hyper focused on poor Letti that he nearly misses them telling him he's got his own flesh and blood out in the mountain now. Oh if I were him I'd probably be sprinting the whole way up and into that mountain to see the little baby! Then when he gets in there he's still focused on Letti, she's a bit ill so I'd understand that, and then he meets Blythe! Paternal joy, love that right there. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there isn't any other joy like it to be holding your own baby in your arms. ;)
Well then we move the chapter from some happy hares and babies to Nicara. This vixen seems like she could actually be the true antagonist of this story. She's clever and cunning, deceiving and beautiful. I would love to see if she takes Vaniska as her mate only to use him as a gateway to powers behind what her father could ever do. Between her clever and his determination I think they'd make a perfect team. But alas, I doubt such things would come out for this is a vixen who wants power to herself and has Kannol there already.
But we have her and Vaniska meet over some drinks and make a deal. Vaniska will get to burn his enemies while Nicara plans to take advantage of the chaos he will spread. And who knows, perhaps our fire fox will also get a good bit of recruits from this endeavor.
The enemies in this story are truly Redwall like as they plan and deceive one another. I'm reminded of The Pearls of Lutra and the game of murder that was being played in that book. Will this be a similar scenario and how will it end? Will we come out with a duo of highly dangerous foxes, two separate enemies, or will one fall in the flames to come? I know I'm about to find out! :D
| Quaver Ava chapter 12 . 11/8/2012
Well ain't this jolly exciting! The little gal is sick and needs to be rushed into the infirmary right oh and prompt like, wot wot. Get on with it and get the little thing in there I say! Go sah, go!
Gotta say that I smiled when Tutsen told kale about his brother sucking his paw until he was an officer. I think I occasionally start sucking on my thump sometimes in absent minded states while focused on something.
The description was well drawn out in this chapter and we had quite a few precise details. I enjoyed reading this chapter a lot and look forward to reading the next.
Like I said, it's early in the morning but I'm reading onward!
| Quaver Ava chapter 11 . 11/8/2012
It's like 1:17 in the morning here right now so this review might be a fare bit shorter...
We begin this chapter with adorableness all around! I swear, babies, I want a freakin kid to hug now! Anyways, a great and wonderful chapter here. Simply saying that the beginning was cute is an understatement. I loved it. It was fantastic. It was awesome. It was freakin' cute!
Oh and I would have to agree with our little otter brother in that babies are really gross. They're messy, they're slobbery, they're just plane icky! But make up for it in sweet and adorable cuteness!
Then we move onward to Peony and her mother. I like how you got yourself a couple of uptight hares and her mother is one of them. Shame that there's such a little band of wrenches in Salamandstron.
Peony has her kid, who I imagine looks very much like Letti, and a ship is spotted.
This chapter was filled with all sorts of things between adorable interactions between the babies to arguing mother and daughter hares, with birthing of another little baby.
Another great chapter and now I move onto the next!
P.S. I posted a new chapter 24 to Lucy's Tale, didn't realize I didn't delete chapter 23 before posting its replacement. Sorry about the mixing up of reviews and comments but you're goin' to have to PM me if you want to review that one. :/
| Quaver Ava chapter 10 . 11/7/2012
"keeping the sea to their right and the flatlands to their right." I'm going to imagine that last right was supposed to be his left. ;P
Well this chapter certainly has a lot of new stuff in it for me to look over. Particularly this port of Jallgo's. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Vaniska is shown to be a foolish and young fellow in this chapter telling me that he can't be any older than 25. I'd say he's still close to his teens. But it seems that he's taken his blessing of mercy from some ruthless thieves the wrong way. He now plans on making enemies with not only woodlanders but vermin as well, to burn down the port that the thief brothers plan to trade their good at.
It's actually a shame that he plans on burning this port down. I don't think he'll be able to burn the whole thing, but who knows he is a determined fire fox, so we'll have to see. But oh yeah, it's a shame because I love the idea of a vermin run community. We have respectable vermin, who we all know aren't that respectable because these fellows would still take all the bribes in the world, who have built up a trading community. In this port we have many taverns and I would also assume houses and shops. It's a real little jewel here ran by a aged and experienced fox.
Than we see his drop dead hot-I-I mean pretty lady of a daughter! She seems like the classical rebellious princess. Her intentions are far from her father's. She's a vermin with wealth who wants to have some fun. I can't help but imagine her as one of those rich superstar girls you see in the movies who are more focused on themselves and partying than anything else. But at the same time she also looks to be a clever vixen who's fooled her father as well. From the ending in this chapter its revealed that her father's spy is actually her lover.
But than again after I read that last part I can't help but think she's up to some other activities that are a little more mature. Who knows until I read the next chapter.
Yet another fun chapter to read. The whole time I read Nicara's part I couldn't help but wonder if she was a possible future love interest for our young antagonist. That would be interesting to see a romance between the bad guys. But I don't think the story is going down that path. :)
Anyways I want to say again how much I love the idea of a vermin community. It would be interesting to see another story out there about a vermin township of some kind filled with bad guys and grey vermin and slave woodlanders and the occasional nice ferret or fox. :D
Yup, pretty great story so far, and I'm loving it!
| Quaver Ava chapter 9 . 11/4/2012
I have just died from the epic fluffyness of this chapter and I'm not even sure where to begin. Heck, it's late at night and I really just want to go to bed but I'll stay up a little longer to review this thing. Shall we start? I think so, onward, wot wot!
This is where I kinda wish they didn't change the review box from a movable window to a box. Anyways let's start off with The Morning Star. We have a fine vessel led by a fine group of otters. A small family, one that I don't think really should have the title of Skipper in it it's so small, but it's a good family at that at least. We see that this vessels has been through a good couple of generations from the many decorations and such on it. I'm now reading between the lines here but I think that vessel wasn't as grand as it is now and it's only been the Skipper's family that's made it what it is today, like those lovely decorations on the railings and complicated sails.
Next we got ourselves some introductions in order! Why we got Bobby, Marry Sue, Tommy, Good old Ganny, oh wait , what I meant was... :P
Then we meet the Mrs.! She seems like just the fiesty of gals, already up from birthing a kid and ready to tan the other one's hide. Or squish him in a motherly iron grip hug! So she seems like a good old momma with a lot of heart. If that little guy was any older through, woo, I bet-cha she wouldn't hesitate to ter him a new one.
I do love the part where she looks at the two hares. That was funny. "Hello there, where in the name of wind 'n waves did ye two pop up from?"
Another great line I enjoyed from her was where she was nursing the babies and Tutsan wanted to give her privacy. "Oh, for the love of fur, it is safe to come in now, ye foolish thing." hehe, love of fur. Makes me think of how the fur would be on her fuzzy mommy boobies and... Did I mention it's late at night here? Five till twelve at this very moment as I write these words.
So yeah! She's a pretty cool character. We didn't quite get much from anyone else in the faily besides the granny, and she just seems like your typical old nice lady. So I don't have much to say for her besides getting Tutsan to get in on over there and declare the child as his own!
Letti is a pretty good name, and named after her adoptive father's mother at that. Good job lil' gal, you've impressed the Captain pretty good. Now will you follow through with his expectations? Or will you disappoint him? The questios could just build up from the excitement we saw from the new father. I know I would be excited, but I'm not quite sure I'd go thinking the kid is going to be some amazing hero. Granted I don't have a baby in my arms right now. XD
I enjoyed reading his adoration over Letti. She's really adorable and sweet. The image of her and Alton sleeping together in a little bed was adorable too. That's where they need a picture capturing device, I think Zane can spare to loan it to the hares for a little bit. :)
Then he surprises them all with a good bit of fatherly skills. Look at that, already getting the little girl to take her medications. I can't help but wonder if shes going to have any sort of problems later in the story, but at the same time I can easily see the little girl turning into an epic young hero who'll save the day! Not without complications and her fights through, but I can see she'll come through soon enough, especially for this kind of story.
One thing I would like to ask is just how old is Tutsan? I imagine him as being in his mid life, but from the way he acts and stuff I'm thinking he's in his later twenties. Whatever the case he's a pretty cool guy and I look forward to seeing more fatherly moments form him, especially when he gets his actual kid in his arms.
Mmm, I'm going to gut it off here for now. It was a great chapter and the story is turning out awesome! I'm a bit sad to see that you don't have that many reviews for this piece here and you should have more! Anyways you got me wanting to hug a little kid or hold a baby now or... Gosh dangit I need a girlfriend! XD
Interested? No, no, kidding.
| Quaver Ava chapter 8 . 11/4/2012
Here we see good old Colonel Harden put Oranna in her place. Shame, and to think I was expecting him to slap her there for a good long moment. Anyways, I loved seeing a badger like her being taught a lesson in humility. Badgers are pretty over rated in my opinion so see one get brought back to earth is always fun. Granted hearing about her father, and Harden's son, wasn't so entertaining...
I enjoyed the first big paragraph in the beginning and knew before I even read it I'd enjoy it. It shows us a good bit of Long patrol life as a young girl grows up to a young woman, uhm, doe. And then we see her feeling lonely and wishing those gossipy nights back. Why I wish I had the nights back were my roomates in the language academy were they were as loud as hell in their fun and games. XD
From there we move onward to a little bit of law within the mountain and finally come across Colonel Harden lecturing Lady Oranna. She is like many her age in that the world is to over whelming to take on and is scared of trying. Through time and trial she'll learn that one needs to grow up and take it on. her responsibilities are bigger than most, hell they're huge, but at the same time smaller responsibilities can feel just as overwhelming.
In our day and age kids are required to take on the world at an early age or risk being washed away. Sometimes a lot of kids/teens/young adults don't even try until a crisis of some personal kind is breathing down the back of their necks. For Oranna, Harden wants to make sure she doesn't make this dire mistake and get her on a roll before something truly terrible happens. In this story I can very well see something horrible happening as well. (Just had a thought of Salamandstron burning.) So he lectures her until he can't anymore.
Then Peony comes along afterward and picks up the emotional beaten girl with words of kindnesss. If the girl doesn't start changing soon, she and the Colonel are right in that she is the most selfish badger there ever was.
Another great and wonderful chapter with a good moral behind it.
| Quaver Ava chapter 7 . 11/4/2012
""Don't you ever, EVER run off on us like that again," he scolded loudly while squeezing his tiny son in a protective hug." And in my mind i added this to that there. 'And Kale struggled to push away only in vain, very much like a certain ferret named Veil would do if in the same situation.' :P
Anyways this was a fast paced, very Redwallish style, chapter. You just kinda have the wodlanders making friends right off the bat and agreeing to plans like putting some random baby to your wife's boob. Anways a pretty great chapter you've got here, like most it seems, so why do I keep complenting you on that? Cause I like to that's why! :D
Brea seems like a no nonsense kinda tough guy. I like his character. I can also see that he doesn't use as much slang as the others, or I might have missed it, but he's a pretty cool hare. I do approve of his rank being a lieutenant because he shows he's capable of leadership. Now when he got kicked... Always a great cleche to have the big guys get beat up by little kids, and a five year old at that! XD
Tutsen pulling rank to hold the little gel seems like it's a bit abusive of said rank. But then again wouldn't you want to be the one to hold the little tucker? Especially with his own kid on the way he's bound to want to fall to such temptations. I don't blame him because babies and little kids seem to get more adorable the older I get. Maybe there's a cuteness hormone or something? I don't know but Tutsen was hit hard and now he's got himself two kiddies.
The comment on the milkweed and herbs was interesting. I personally like the theory that most mothers after they're done nursing continue to produce milk for their communities. But at the same time with your social revolution in this were the women/female beasts are becoming more interdependent than before I can see there being a lack of such... charity?
Again a great chapter to read and a pretty fun one to review.
So here's a foxie face!
| Quaver Ava chapter 6 . 11/3/2012
That first paragraph, I loved it, I just loved it! It shows that not all vermin are born completely evil and ready to slaughter woodlanders at will. No, the normal, or the young vermin who haven't been quite as inured as the older ones, actually felt guilty for what they did. They didn't realize just what they were doing while it was happening, blindly following a leader into a choice that no one thought he would actually go through with, and coming out with haunted expressions. But give them a few more years and they'll be just as senseless as any other classical vermin out there. Vermin, they're all sheep, everyone of them down to the leaders who follow their great predecessors in plundering.
As a mild thought to that it also gives the opportunity for a good vermin to arise, or a brighter grey sorta of vermin. All it takes is some brains and a good raising and they should be able to break the cycle, but alas, the world is full of cycles that never seem to break.
The other half of this chapter shows us two new characters as well. Both are cheeky otters, one more than the other. Skipper seems to understand when to stop playing around and show someone some respect, as for his brother through he seems that isn't the case. And further more we have a lost child! Getting jealous over the birth of a new baby? Just how old is this little rogue? Either way I'm sure i'll find out shortly enough.
Another good chapter and another one fun to read. No strange crazy laughter coming from me this time, so that's good. Really, that was just weird last chapter...
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/3/2012
Wait, did a dead body just give birth to a live baby? O.o
So you took me from feeling creeped out, to laughing, to nervously laughing, to wondering if I'm going insane or not because I'm laughing at this. Why was I LAUGHING!? Anyways, good chapter, I see we have the first of the two sisters here. And This little gal is going to be one of Vaniska's most horrible pains.
When you had the baby stop crying I was taken aback for just a moment because that normally meant it, he, she, had stopped breathing, not taking to naive Long Patrol hares that think such a thing is good. And then Tutsan tell them to back off because the baby had stopped breathing and I sighed in relief, cause that meant they knew what to do next!
A good chapter with a lot of character interaction. This actually looks like one of those chapters you had a lot of fun writing because of the detail and the fast pace of it all. Then again this could also be one of those chapter where it was a struggle to do it. XD Whatever the case it was fun for me to read, and that's the important part, right? ;P
Goodnight and have a happy Sunday!
| Quaver Ava chapter 4 . 11/1/2012
OooOoooOOoooOOohhHhhHhhhh! A cliffhanger, to bad I can just click that next button to find out what happens next. ;P
This chapter was well written and fast paced. OK, maybe a little to fast paced but that's fine considering you did this a while ago. We first start off by introducing the character Levkin. He's a young fello' who's got a lot of energy and eagerness in him. He also needs to learn the number one rule of the military still through, respect. I'm glad to see him getting a quick reprimand and a punishment to stay behind. Now through that's also the kinda thing that gets young guys like him killed because he's all by himself and some bloody vermin might come along.
Next we see Vaniska's first fire. They've bard the doors and windows shut and left the beasts within to burn to death as punishment for not following suit in his demands. Now we have the making of a new threat to the land of Mossflower and I must say again that I love the idea of a bad guy burning everything down to the ground. Heck, he doesn't even need to be a warlord, just keep him as a pyromaniac and I'll be happy! :D
Again I got confused with the names. Brea I thought was a girl and Blodwen a guy. I also read Blodwen like it was a German name, the W as a V ect. But at the same time had me for a second thinking that I was reading a Redwall book again, like you copied from Jacques style, before I was pulled back into your own style. That's also a fun moment when you're readinf fanfics and feel like it could been cannon for those few sentences.
And then we come to the end of the chapter where Mayweed, I knew this one was a lady :D, had to excuse herself. This came off to me as a very mature and professional act on her part. She separated herself from the others to try and let herself cry a little before she pulled herself together. It says that he's a good guy when Tutsen goes over to her and tries to comfort her, but at the same time I think he would have been, and she would have been, fine to let her be.
Now I see you've chosen to go the baby route. Poor vermin souls won't know what hit them now. They've created the potential of a great character who'll stop at nothing for revenge.
This was again a great chapter and really fun to read. I enjoyed this one very much. I look forward to reading and reviewing the next tomorrow. 'Till then-
| Quaver Ava chapter 3 . 11/1/2012
As I said before it's hard for me to keep up with characters a lot of the time. I can see through that your characters have well thought out development and they all have very fine lines between them of who is who. The dialogue is wonderful and I love the hare speech in this story. Hell, I can even go as far as saying I'm studying your hare speech for future chapters in my story.
Now as for the times changing where young hare mothers are going back out into the field, I liked that little detail there. It shows us that you have your story in the future of Redwallverse, but it isn't way in the future. It's more of a social change than anything so far, but a very important one where women are slowly becoming more independent. Perhaps we'll see some creative technologies?
I'm not sure if I read this already or if I haven't but I must know. What is the rank of Peony again? I'm currently imagining her as a second lieutenant, (US army standards). Also how old is Bloomsberry? I wasn't sure if she's young or old from the colonel's comments. Was he joking. ugh, this is what happens when you're interrupted several times while reading a chapter. XD
Anyways, (see I over use certain words!) it was a good chapter with some pretty good character development. Kinda fluffy too.