|Reviews for To be An Outcast|
| Laura Scofield chapter 4 . 5/26/2011
Your exploration most definately reached a new level here! I'm extremely impressed, I love how deep this is all getting ;D
I just wanted to say that splitting it up into 2 chapters was definately a good idea. Even at that, the 2 chapters were very long, and I had to read them in 3-4 sittings. But that just could be me, I find it hard to read a lot of text on screen in one go! Overall, it depends on how you feel is best to split up your story. But I'd suggest (if at all possible!) to try to split your long chapters up into "sections", like by putting *** in to indicate the passage of time or the change of a pov or whatever. Obviously that won't apply to all chapters!
Another little thing is that I find it quite hard to read a lot of bolded text... I dunno if I'm the only person who has that problem! I definately understand why you needed to use it though, plus you are limited with the formatting choices on this site.
Ok, but aside from all those minor things, you are a very talented writer! You took this idea, and are shaping and expanding it wonderfully. I love how you are dealing with the Ichani, definately more in-depth than what Trudi has given us. I find it hard to warm to Akkarin, but lets face it, that's a sign you are getting him in character, cos I never liked him that much in the books either :P So well done XD You do make me sympathise with him a lot though, don't think me cold hearted here!
Anyway I cannot wait to read more, and to see where this will go in the next chapters. Already so much has happened in the space of just 4 chapters, I'm very eager to see what you will do next!
| Kasloumor chapter 4 . 5/26/2011
Aargh, I had a difficult time accepting Akkarin's death in the books and now I have to suffer his untimely death yet again - please, tell me it isn't so.
Anyway - I think your story is excellent. :-)
| Naamah Beherit chapter 4 . 5/25/2011
It's definitely one of better stories here, one of few of those that have something unique in it. I can't wait for the next update.
Oh, and don't kill him... pretty please?
| Laura Scofield chapter 2 . 4/28/2011
I loved the deep title :D What a great start to a great chapter! I'm really enjoying this story, and you elaborated it wonderfully in this chapter. I was very impressed by the romance scene at the end, I myself am woeful at writing that sort of thing, so you have my respect! :D I cannot wait to see where this story leads, and I hope you can update soon XD
| Da Squirrel chapter 2 . 4/22/2011
helllooo my lovely beta! :)
im rubbish at reviews :P
well first off: the first chapter
i now have a different way to relate to the ichani (dakova) and when i next read the BMT i shall see them in a different light! (they still killed akkarin!) and i do like your writing style! :)
alternate ending! yays ! but at the same time nooo you 'seem' to be killing akkarin! darn that dangling carrot! but appart from that i love the way you make the characters 'in character' which i always like cos atleast it shows you pay attention when reading! :) im not very good at grammar though i like to thnk i am improving i think yours is very good and would recommend you as a beta! :) also darn cliffhangers!
from your ever grateful writer *bows down to you* chloe (Da Squirrel) :D
| Caoimhe McQuarry chapter 1 . 4/15/2011
Oooft! This is hefty. There were one or two technical faults in the writing (a couple of sentences where it seems like you've started saying one thing, and finished saying another, and things like saying "accept" instead of "except") but overall the flow was excellent. Dakova is suddenly a much more developed character - I like the implication that a lot of his brutality and violent ways stem from an underlying, almost panicked notion that at some point the despair and desperation will overcome him. I love the way you write, too. I can't pinpoint why, but I do so xD
| AutumnDragons chapter 1 . 4/14/2011
I'm not good at reviews, but I got curious when you mentioned your fic, so I read it, and I have to say, this is great!
I hadn't given much thought to the Ichani, but you've made me think that they can't be all evil, and some may only act the way they do because that's the only way they will survive.
The way you have described Dakova's thoughts also clearly shows his personality! I think when I reread the books and get to parts about Dakova and the Ichani I'll think about this fic and wonder what their story is.
I seriously dislike thinking about Akkarin screaming! (that's not a criticism,in case you think it is, I just like Akkarin too much!) It's powerful though, as are your descriptions, so kudos! :)
| Kasloumor chapter 1 . 3/14/2011
Oooh, dark. I like the angle - interesting and well written.
| Laura Scofield chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
This wouldnt usually be the type of fic I'd read, based on the summery (I am a shameless Dan/Tay fic reader most of the time, I tend to avoid anything relating to Akkarin :P). BUT since I knew you, I was really curious to read this fic!
I think this idea is very original, and I definately think it is interesting to delve into Dakova's POV. I agree that the Sachakans can't be completely evil, obviously from their view, the Kyralians are the bad guys, so there's 2 sides to the story :D Anyway, I love that you are exploring something new like this, there's lots of potential for the story. And this first chapter really caught my attention! Your writing style is fresh, and your way of describing is very vivid and powerful.
Keep up the great writing!
| darkmagician777 chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
OMG i love this fic, iv always wanted someone to write a fic on the ichani and especially Dakova this is awsome :D. Its great to know how an ichani thinks because, as you say they are human like everyone els and to become evil you had to have something bad happen to you to make you think that way and become angry at the world. Great job i love how well you have portrayed Dakova and how he likes it when Akkarin stands up to him, and you have given a great insight into Dakova's past which i realy like. thank you for writing this awsome story it is genius, i realy hope you write more :D please.