Reviews for the wall of ice
A Bullfrog's Worst Nightmare chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
O hai thar!

Great story! You had a really good opening scene and you described everyone's emotions very well. It was very realistic. All the characters had well-rounded personalities too.

I liked all the events that happened in the flashbacks but I don't like the idea of the flashback itself. I don't know if that makes any sense. Like I didn't really like the switching from the present to the past and then back again but the events in the past were really interesting so it didn't bother me that much. It seemed like this could've been made into two separate stories.

Grammar-wise, it could use a little brushing up but I didn't notice most of the mistakes until I went back and reread parts. So they weren't distracting from the story, at least for me.

I liked your usage of the prompt "wall of ice" but I wasn't that big of a fan of where the other prompt was used. It does seem like a hard quote to fit in, though and you probably used it better than I ever could.

Here's your fabulous score:

Creativity: 5

Character/genre/quote/prompt: 4

Grammar: 4

In-Character: 5

Flow: 3

Total: 21/25

Awesome job! :D
xSleepyPanda chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
Poor Rose! You must continue on. I love how the flashbacks are woven into the story and it's quite lovely actually. :)
symphonies of you chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
Well, I'm a RoseScorp shipper and not a particularly big fan of DomScorp. But this still made me cry over them even though Scorpius was kind of a jerk. This was really well-written with all the conflicting emotions she had. Loved it(:
Rising From The Flames chapter 1 . 4/9/2011
This was very creative, I have never seen a HP fic before where one of the dormitories was on fire, that was a very unsuspected twist. You used your character, genre and prompt well, I really liked how you used the ice to describe how Rose was coping with the deaths. The prompt, however, felt like it was tacked on at the end because you had to fit it in. The grammar was pretty good, but there were a couple of places that felt really awkward. I also noticed one or two typos. I can't really judge you on whether they were in-character because we don't really get to know them in the books, but the characters were very believable. In general the flow was pretty good, but the switching between the present and the flash backs was rather dissorienting. I think those transitions would have flowed better if you had someone managed to weave the two story lines together instead of telling the reading when the flashback began and ended. so, great job, and here's your score :)

Creativity: 5

Character/genre/quote/prompt: 4

Grammar: 3

In-Character: 5

Flow: 4

Total: 21/25
homeathogwarts chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
Plenty of creativity, with good use of your character, genre, and prompt. I didn't see any grammor mistakes so good job there. Something about Rose was off, although I'm not exactly sure what it was. The icy exterior just didn't seem complete, but the story flowed well. Nice job!

Creativity: 5/5

Using of character, genre, quote/prompt/song: 5/5

Grammar: 5/5

In-character: 4/5

Flow: 5/5

Total: 24/25
BlueEyes444 chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Oh my gosh. That So sad and amazing and really, there's no words to describe it. It was so amazing.
kingslayers chapter 1 . 3/13/2011

You made me cry!

ROSE, I'm so sorry!

I mean, they all had it bad, but her boyfriend died cheating on her with her freaking cousin.

Where did you come up with this?

Jane xxxxx
kingslayers chapter 1 . 3/13/2011

You made me cry!

ROSE, I'm so sorry!

I mean, they all had it bad, but her boyfriend died cheating on her with her freaking cousin.

Where did you come up with this?

Jane xxxxx
2452516 chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Wow. This is, while dark, a very good piece. It conveys emotions well and it provides lots of good imagery, as well as including my favorite love triangle. :)

But you killed Scorpius! And Dom! Sad. :'(

That's alright though, it was necessary to the plot.

Great job, and keep writing!

PS: Lots of smileys in there, haha. ;)
she'sasiriusriot chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Mad, YOU KILLED DOM! AND SCORPIUS (who in my world now looks like William Moseley)! Other than them dying I liked it and I liked the way you protrayed Rose. And it was awesome :)

Sorry for the really short review...
sidsaid chapter 1 . 3/13/2011

This was beautiful.

But very sad.

You are an amazing writer, and you made me quite upset.

Poor Rosie.

And let's just blame Albus for their death, it's easy to blame things on him XD.

Loved it as always!

justalittle l o o n y chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Oh Mad... Oh Mad, oh Mad, oh Mad... First off, HOW COULD YOU KILL DOMINIQUE? ahem. Now that that's over, this was wonderfully written. Personally, I like your characterization of Rose the best, as it seems very interesting and realistic. Dominique was great, even if she only appeared once or twice.

However, I thought Scorpius was a little 2D. Why did he cheat on Rose? Did they have a fight? Did they just fall apart?

I also thought that the ending was very sweet. The fact that it took her boyfriend and her cousin dying to break her shell was very sad and well written. And Louis, oh Mad, I LOVED your Louis. He was kind and sweet and I just wanted to hug him!

So yeah, brilliant story that seriously made me want to cry...

verity candor chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
That - jeez Mad. One thing I really loved about this was how you showed that there are more important things in life than pretending you're strong - and even more important than being hurt/cheated on by someone you love - you do a wonderful job of showing Rose's initial reaction and how it stops being important once she... hears the news. Now for some reason I really want to read/write this from Dom/Scorp's perspective - gah, you inspirer you!
gote chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Wow, Mad. I read this transfixed, so sad yet so good. Nice work.
Neko-sama91 chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
Very sad. I don't know whats worse, the fact Scopius is a typical Slytherin or that her own family didn't tell her she was seeing her boyfriend. Poor girl, but great post.
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