|Reviews for With you in my Arms|
| Rankin de Merthyr chapter 10 . 11/27/2016
Nah. Fuck this. If each chapter is just gonna be lengthened by pointless drama then "Dropped".
Creating tension, suspense, and other such feelings require whatever is causing such feeling not be pants-on-head retarded, especially so if it can be easily fix by a simple conversation. Deciding to create drama because characters "won't talk about it" is a terrible and over used plot device and quite frankly does not hold a readers attention for very long.
In fact, I can skip paragraphs and still get the story. This is how you know a conversation between characters has utterly no substance.
Furthermore, when Harry just completely ignored Kreacher when he said Hermione completely killed his character.
| Rankin de Merthyr chapter 9 . 11/27/2016
Oh Jesus Christ, GET ON WITH IT! Tempting your readers with a carrot on a stick plot, with each chapter MAYBE advancing the plot just to give padding to your story is absolute crap!
It's freaking ridiculous to keep stalling for this and it doesn't even make sense! Fuck! All it needs is for Ginny to drag Hermione to Draco's room, tell him the child is his and Hermione is a broken wreck because he made her pregnant and for him to fix the retarded misunderstanding!
| HubrisBrutus chapter 11 . 10/6/2016
"I am sorry, I have bitten you."
His voice was soft and filled with the love he felt for her.
"I have bitten you as well."
Examples of mechanical, robotic language.
" I have bitten you as well."
"I am sorry, I have bitten you".
How bout "I'm sorry, i bit you"
Or "I bit you too."
Also whole story of stilted and formulaic.
| luvtracker chapter 5 . 2/29/2016
This very badly written. I can't believe you wasted your precious time writing this shit. What a garbage.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/23/2015
Please use a visual to show that you are changing view points within chapters.
Other than that great job.
If this as already been addressed please disregard this message.
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 98 . 3/1/2015
I like how you ended this! Blaise and Ginny together! And Scorpius and Lilly. :)
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 94 . 2/28/2015
Ding dong the wicked wizard is dead! I think it might behoove them to do something more permanent about that lovely little room in the library. It's too dangerous to not have something done with it.
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 92 . 2/28/2015
Let's hope this works! And the mental image of Bellatrix and Voldemort was shiver inducing. I need a scourgify spell for my brain!
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 79 . 2/28/2015
Haha! I knew it! And what's up with mr moving a lot? Its normal for babies to move often, especially during the last week for them to get into position.
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 76 . 2/28/2015
But somehow, someway, Draco Malfoy can show his forearms with no blemishes! We know this because of the fact those kidnappers thought they had the wrong man and that the healers in Germany couldn't find one either!
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 58 . 2/27/2015
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 53 . 2/26/2015
She really doesn't get it does she? She just tried to make excuses for Ron. For doing something so despicable. Is she really dumb enough to think that he did it to protect her? That he didn't do it because he's selfish!? I mean seriously?
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 52 . 2/26/2015
I want to punch Ronald Weasley in the face! She should have given him one like she did Draco back in third year!
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 50 . 2/26/2015
| ashley.mercer.16 chapter 48 . 2/26/2015