|Reviews for Shuffle!: A New Life|
| teacherlady chapter 1 . 5/13/2012
Not familiar at all with the series but you certainly bring the characters to life. I'm curious about what he'll discover in this new world of Gods and Demons.
| saddiqA25 chapter 3 . 9/21/2011
Hey mike i'd say that you both rush the chapter but at the same time it's good. I know what you're going to do in the future chapter so i'm not giving out any spoilers but you may want to slow down a bit because you're running the story at a fast pace, ya know what i'm saying. But besides the fast pace it was good you keep up the good work as well "little flower".
| ThomasZoey3000 chapter 3 . 9/20/2011
What can I say but - this is a really good chapter Mike11208. I really liked the duet with both Michael and Kaede, that's my personal favourite scene of the episode - well that and seeing Michael rock out on the way to school. Keep up the great work my friend.
| Mr.Kokomo chapter 3 . 9/20/2011
I felt that Mike's actions were a bit over reactive. I was expecting to see Mike have a little respect for Rin, as Rin left Kaede's home for the soul reason that he wanted Kaede to live with out him, so it is making Rin a bit out of character here. I mean yes Kaede did make cofee for him once, but that was during his news paper rounds.
Another thing is that the characters a bit too forgiving. I sure as hell would not forgive someone for decking me in the face unless it was a real good reason, or if they were trying to get a point out and there is no other way to. What I would reccomend for you to do is think "How would a person react to me doing this?" Note when I say "A person" rather than "An average person". People react to things in a different way, which brings me to the reccomendation of trying to make each character different in some way. Through out the story I am seeing quite a bit of the same behavior so far. Sia is more of an upbeat person while Nerine is more of a quite composed individual.
Also, please do the bird in my picture a favor and take it easy with foreign languages. I have a little bit of Romajji along with French when I feel they are most needed. I also try to use the foreign language insertions effectively, along with the swearing.
Well, I hope you've learned from this review. I'll be keeping an eye on your stuff.
Oh yeah... One more thing. I want you to try to criticize my stuff as well. I'm still trying to get help with things I need to work on.
| saddiqA25 chapter 2 . 9/11/2011
It was ok, but maybe a little later in the story you might wanna throw something a little more exciting, it dosent have to be the next chapter but try to add something a little more different it was great but throw some comedy or excitement to keep ur readers reading it, this is jus my opinion mike but this chapter was good, and plz make the next chapter soon. Keep up the good work
| MuggleBehavior chapter 2 . 9/2/2011
Your writing skills are improving. One thing though is that I feel that the relationship between Michael and Kaede is moving too quicky. Slow it down a bit.
| zheil chapter 2 . 8/31/2011
Well atleast you updated a new chapter, i thought it would take a long time before another one would show up.
Still it is interesting seeing on how both Michael and Kaede go along well. Just keep up the good work.
| ChloeHaku chapter 1 . 7/26/2011
well in the anime shuffle on the credits it is kinda obvious that sia and kaede start a relationship... so this wouldnt fit the story line... but otherwise good!
| zheil chapter 1 . 4/3/2011
The story is well written, good grammar, and first chapter already gives a good first impression. Can't wait for the next chapter and thanks to you and your bro ThomasZiey3000, my friend here could make a story like this but with a little twist in it. Besides those, the story is very good
| Liger24 chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
This very good. can't wait for the second chapter.
| MuggleBehavior chapter 1 . 3/16/2011
Wow...that was really good. I liked the dream part, it made the story very dramtic and mysterious. Even though i'm not a big fan of romance fanfics, it was really good!
| Mr.Kokomo chapter 1 . 3/14/2011
So you're trying to go for my protagonist's grammar eh? Alright then, if you're going for that, I would reccomend using a mixture of a British and American grammar, as Cam switches between the two, and of course, Cam does curse, but I think you have it down there.
Along with the story, I find it to be going a bit too fast. Try not to go real fast in terms of love interests, I being a hopeless romantic knows that it takes a bit of time. Then again, I don't really know how fast relationships occur, so I should probably shut up.
Also, try to describe some of the character's surroundings (I understand that you don't remember what Kaede's house looks like, so I'll lay you off on that).
But other than that, well written.